Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: tigers_gonads on 05 October 2013, 11:44:41
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London ;D ;D ;D
As Wordsworth almost said, Earth hath not anything to show more foul. London has just won the coveted title, held for the last decade by Hull, of number one Crap Town in the UK.
When Crap Towns Returns is published next week, "back by unpopular demand", it will reveal that the capital has soared ahead of hotly fancied contenders including Rhyl, Pontefract, Thetford, Jaywick ("I could well have been in downtown Chernobyl") and even Chipping Norton, the pretty Cotswold town known for its local "set" of acquaintances including David Cameron, Alex James, Rebekah Brooks and Jeremy Clarkson.
As votes and bile poured in on the Crap Towns website, Chipping Norton looked well placed to take the title. But in the end it was nudged into third place by Bradford ("you name it, we're bad at it").
London was catapulted to victory by multiple nominations for its dismal suburbs, murder miles, high house prices, City bankers and a transport system that abandons late-night revellers to the mercy of rickshaws, minicabs or night buses, "a must for all fans of vomit, paranoid schizophrenics and R&B played through tinny mobile-phone speakers".
The city's trump card was undoubtedly its most affluent parish, Mayfair: "Its inhabitants are virtually without exception the biggest shower of needy, self-important bumwipes in London, with a self-pity complex and misplaced sense of entitlement to match. The architecture is either dull west London stucco or a idiottish approach at some kind of meaningful landmark building. Either way it's rubbish. Most importantly the pubs are ****. And full of people who live in Mayfair."
Sam Jordison, co-founder and editor of Crap Towns, said: "People in London just have no idea what's happening in the rest of the country. They take a lot of what works in Britain, but you don't see much sign of them putting anything back. I think that's what lies behind the rage of a lot of the nominations.
"A lot of the entries for other places are what you might call affectionate hatred, as you might tease a member of the family but know you have to put up with them. That's not the case with London – the hatred is real."
The original Crap Towns was a publishing sensation in 2003, born of a moaning late-night conversation between Jordison and Dan Kieran, co-editor of the list and deputy editor of the Idler, about the respective awfulness of their home towns, Morecambe in Lancashire and Alresford in Hampshire. Jordison now lives in Norwich, which hasn't even managed to scrape into the top 50.
Although a lively debate continued on the website, the authors never intended to produce a sequel. But when it appeared to them that Britain had got even crapper, they felt the nation needed it.
"Back in 2003 when the first book of Crap Towns came out, boarded up high streets were a novelty. Youth unemployment was still sometimes regarded as a lifestyle choice instead of universal and compulsory. Riots were something that happened in history books – and not Ealing. Regeneration was a distinct possibility rather than a bitter joke. Money was flowing into previously crap towns like Hastings, Hull and Morecambe. Old buildings were being fixed up, new ones were being built – and amazing, they weren't all awful."
But as Jordison writes in his new introduction, "things did not, as we were promised, only get better".
Except for in Hull, it seems. Not only has the city been stripped of its title, it has dropped out of the top 50 completely. The 2003 nominations claimed the city "smelt of death", but Jordison says the pong has now gone – a mixed blessing because the closure of the offending chocolate factory cost many jobs.
The 10 crappest towns
1 London; 2 Bradford; 3 Chipping Norton; 4 Southampton; 5 York; 6 Gibraltar; 7 Coventry; 8 Nuneaton; 9 High Wycombe; 10 Stoke-on-Trent
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Sorry, can't accept that, they've obviously never been to my home town! ;D
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London is the greatest city in the world - as long as you have plenty of money.
I spent an enjoyable day there on Weds. Took a cruise down the Thames, eating a very pleasant lunch while looking at all the very interesting sights.Then went on The eye,which gave superb views across the city and beyond. Had a walk around Parliament square (with some very bad thoughts ::) ;D) before heading home.
Been to NYC, Milan and quite few other cities,great places but London is head and shoulders above all of them. :)
Second point. The people who voted have obviously never been to Clacton. ;D
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clearly a crap survey, cannot be bothered to list a specific area ::)
London has so many areas, yes some are shite, but some are just amazing.
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Am not suprised to see Wycombe there....I was born here, and have watched it deteriorate (imo) to, as you say, a craphole.
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clearly a crap survey, cannot be bothered to list a specific area ::)
London has so many areas, yes some are shite, but some are just amazing.
Perfectly logical statement :y The word 'London' covers half the south now ;)
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London is the greatest city in the world - as long as you have plenty of money.
I spent an enjoyable day there on Weds.
That was nice of him :y
Second point. The people who voted have obviously never been to Clacton. ;D
I did like the description of Jaywick, which isn't that far away ::)
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??? surprised to see York on the list, always been nice when I've been there ???
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Obviously never walked along the Thames from the London Eye to Tower Bridge. Very pleasant way to see some real gems of London architecture and history.
There again we are all guilty of under appreciating our immediate surroundings and our local towns and villages.
The exception near us is Bracknell of course with a horrible town centre and too many large 1950's to 1970's problematic estates and an awful road system. Slightly further afield Reading has very little to commend it, with Reading a slightly better and slightly more upmarket version of both of them. I won't even mention Aldershot, which is more rundown than the descent from Mount Snowdon, oops I just did. ::) :o ;D ;D ;D ;D
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??? surprised to see York on the list, always been nice when I've been there ???
+1....... :y :y
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Obviously they've never been to SLady bitshorpe-and I can't blame them for that!!!
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I live between York, Pontefract,Bradistan, and Kingston (Hull to the uneducated) apart from Hull none are that bad
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Spent 4 days in London last September and loved every minute. Done the usual tourist things, the eye, Tussauds etc, fantastic!
Wouldn't want to live there though. Not used to the 100 mph lifestyle :)