Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Mr Skrunts on 20 June 2008, 23:15:52
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The Yearly Physical
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, with his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, “I need a urine sample, a stool sample and a sperm sample.”
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells, “What? What did he say?”
His wife yells back, “Give the doctor your underwear.”
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What a Coincidence
A man sat at a local bar and said, “This is a special day, I’m celebrating.”
“What a coincidence,” said the woman next to him. “I’m celebrating, too” she replied, clinking glasses with him. “What are your celebrating?”
“I’m a chicken farmer, and for years all my hens were infertile, but today they’re finally fertile.”
“What a coincidence”, the woman said. “My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I’m pregnant!”
“How did your chickens become fertile?” she asked.
“I switched cocks,” he replied.
“What a coincidence,” she said.
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Stress Management
Just in case you’ve had a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological texts. The funny thing is that it really works.
1. Picture yourself near a stream.
2. Birds are softly chirping in the cool mountain air.
3. No one but you knows your secret place.
4. You are in total seclusion from the hectic place called the world.
5. The soothing sound of a gentle waterfall fills the air with a scade of serenity.
6. The water is crystal clear.
7. You can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.
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;D ;D ;D
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:y :y :y :y
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Very good you seem to have an endless supply of jokes. :)
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Very good you seem to have an endless supply of jokes. :)
Don't ask.......... ::) ::) ::)
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Very good you seem to have an endless supply of jokes. :)
Don't ask.......... ::) ::) ::)
Moi ;D ;D ;D ::) ::) ::)