Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: D on 15 January 2015, 22:12:16
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Wealth, women and endless afterlife spoils. Such is the fantasy of those blowing themselves up in public spaces. Imagine their awe upon discovering that it’s all a sham. Something like this…
God: Come in, come in
Dead Bomber: Blessings be upon you…
God: Cut that out, I’m good. There have been so many of you people blowing yourselves up, I decided to interview you personally. But this is not something I normally do. Why are you doing that?
Dead Bomber: Eh, we thought that’s what you wanted.
God: You thought what? Are you insane? Why would I want you to blow yourself up? And kill other people on top of that? It’s in all religions, ‘Don’t Kill’. Number one. The first thing. How can you miss it?
Dead Bomber: But we thought we’re doing it for you..
God: FOR ME? I created all of this all on my own, I can do whatever I want. I can turn a volcano upside down just by clicking this button here. Don’t ask me why I need this button. Why would I need your help? What twisted logic have you people come up with?
Dead Bomber: Ehm, it’s the afterlife…
God: Afterlife? What afterlife? There is no afterlife! You think this is a computer game? You die and you go to level two? And you didn’t even finish level one, you just opted out.
Dead Bomber: But all the Books talk promise an afterlife, a paradise…
God: It’s a metaphor! How did you people not get that? It’s specifically written in an allegorical manner so you get that. Look at me, discussing literature with an idiot who blew himself up.
Dead Bomber: So there’s no paradise?
God: No, you schmuck. That’s it, you die and you’re gone. I’m making an exception because I wanted to understand what foolishness you people were getting up to. I keep my eye off Earth for a few years, and you people spring up!
Dead Bomber: And the rivers of milk and honey and all of that?
God: You think I’m in catering? What impertinence! It’s enough work looking after you when you’re alive; you want me to spend eternity giving you free food? Like I have nothing better to do. Do you know how many universes I’m running now? Idiots!
Dead Bomber: And the beautiful maidens that we were promised…?
God: WHAT? Just what kind of establishment do you think I’m running here? It was all a metaphor, a story about how you’re supposed to live your life. How can you take it literally? If you’re good, you have inner peace, that’s it. That’s paradise. If you’re evil, you live a tormented inner life. You people have come and blown the whole system away. No pun intended.
Dead Bomber: I’m sorry, we just didn’t realize. You see there were those other people, the infidels who didn’t believe in you correctly. The crusaders and the rejectionists…
God: So you blow them up? Who do you think put them there? You utter imbeciles. You know I might introduce eternal damnation just for people like you. I’ll have to send someone to Earth to tell humans about it. I haven’t done that in centuries, I can’t even remember the shortcut. Get out. GET OUT! Before I turn you to salt.
Dead Bomber: What will happen to me now?
God: I might send you back as a swine, that should teach you. No, I’m pulling your leg. You will die and that’s it.
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Mr Hammer meet Mr Nailhead... ;)
The whole concept of one supreme being couldn't be any simpler...
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Brilliant......
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:y Excellent. :y
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Brilliant!! ;D
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
The screed above would be far more powerful if that fact was included and God's denial of it for the dead bomber, or anyone perpetually committing evil who does not say sorry, I was wrong, as indeed was the message given by Jesus.
But, of course for non-believers that does not ring true and they are dedicated to settling on total death. Shame.
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
The screed above would be far more powerful if that fact was included and God's denial of it for the dead bomber, or anyone perpetually committing evil who does not say sorry, I was wrong, as indeed was the message given by Jesus.
But, of course for non-believers that does not ring true and they are dedicated to settling on total death. Shame.
?
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
The screed above would be far more powerful if that fact was included and God's denial of it for the dead bomber, or anyone perpetually committing evil who does not say sorry, I was wrong, as indeed was the message given by Jesus.
But, of course for non-believers that does not ring true and they are dedicated to settling on total death. Shame.
?
Yes, for me and millions of others it is fact. It is personal belief and a number of experiences that mean I KNOW it is true.
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
Unfortunately Lizzie, science has proven you wrong on more than one occasion.
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
Unfortunately Lizzie, science has proven you wrong on more than one occasion.
No it has not. Science knows nothing yet, nor do we as we are just children of the Universe. However, what we experience personally shapes our views and we start to learn some of the truth of our creators place and powers. You either believe or you do not. Simples!
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
Unfortunately Lizzie, science has proven you wrong on more than one occasion.
No it has not. Science knows nothing yet, nor do we as we are just children of the Universe. However, what we experience personally shapes our views and we start to learn some of the truth of our creators place and powers. You either believe or you do not. Simples!
Doesn`t make it fact though ;)
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
Unfortunately Lizzie, science has proven you wrong on more than one occasion.
No it has not. Science knows nothing yet, nor do we as we are just children of the Universe. However, what we experience personally shapes our views and we start to learn some of the truth of our creators place and powers. You either believe or you do not. Simples!
Doesn`t make it fact though ;)
When you experience certain things and learn you then start to understand the facts but that takes age and maturity.
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Religion is a fantastic idea. I mean, give credit to whoever thought that one up. Keep the masses in line with promises of life after death, knowing full well it's impossible to disprove. Genius :y
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
Unfortunately Lizzie, science has proven you wrong on more than one occasion.
No it has not. Science knows nothing yet,
If you should happen to pop your clogs (through natural causes of course because no god would ever give someone a terminal disease), please feel free to log back in to OOF from the afterlife and prove me (and the other non believers) wrong ;)
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
Unfortunately Lizzie, science has proven you wrong on more than one occasion.
No it has not. Science knows nothing yet, nor do we as we are just children of the Universe. However, what we experience personally shapes our views and we start to learn some of the truth of our creators place and powers. You either believe or you do not. Simples!
Doesn`t make it fact though ;)
When you experience certain things and learn you then start to understand the facts but that takes age and maturity.
I love it when Lizzie gets all mysterious! :-* :y
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
Unfortunately Lizzie, science has proven you wrong on more than one occasion.
No it has not. Science knows nothing yet, nor do we as we are just children of the Universe. However, what we experience personally shapes our views and we start to learn some of the truth of our creators place and powers. You either believe or you do not. Simples!
Doesn`t make it fact though ;)
When you experience certain things and learn you then start to understand the facts but that takes age and maturity.
I love it when Lizzie Loses the plot :-* :y
No need, Tigg ;D
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When you die that's it......lights out. Nothing. SFA.
Pretty much the same as before you were born, I imagine. :)
......oh,and by the time the next two generations have dropped off the perch nobody will remember you were alive.
Of course I could be wrong. ;)
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
Unfortunately Lizzie, science has proven you wrong on more than one occasion.
No it has not. Science knows nothing yet, nor do we as we are just children of the Universe. However, what we experience personally shapes our views and we start to learn some of the truth of our creators place and powers. You either believe or you do not. Simples!
Doesn`t make it fact though ;)
When you experience certain things and learn you then start to understand the facts but that takes age and maturity.
I love it when Lizzie gets all mysterious! :-* :y
Yes...quite sexy. :-* :-* :-*
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When you die that's it......lights out. Nothing. SFA.
Pretty much the same as before you were born, I imagine. :)
......oh,and by the time the next two generations have dropped off the perch nobody will remember you were alive.
Of course I could be wrong. ;)
Yeah...you definitely could be wrong. We might not see two more generations. But I don't care, Im getting on now, so Ill be OK. :y
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When you die that's it......lights out. Nothing. SFA.
Pretty much the same as before you were born, I imagine. :)
......oh,and by the time the next two generations have dropped off the perch nobody will remember you were alive.
Of course I could be wrong. ;)
Yeah...you definitely could be wrong. We might not see two more generations. But I don't care, Im getting on now, so Ill be OK. :y
Would you like to be buried with your Daewoo, Steve?
The crappers don't want it. :)
EDIT....should read 'scrappers'. :)
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For many millions, including me, we firmly believe in the afterlife.
Unfortunately Lizzie, science has proven you wrong on more than one occasion.
No it has not. Science knows nothing yet, nor do we as we are just children of the Universe. However, what we experience personally shapes our views and we start to learn some of the truth of our creators place and powers. You either believe or you do not. Simples!
Doesn`t make it fact though ;)
When you experience certain things and learn you then start to understand the facts but that takes age and maturity.
I love it when Lizzie gets all mysterious! :-* :y
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D The thing is life is still full of mystery as it was when we first became aware of life. We are still children and are constantly learning from our experiences in life's playground. We live, we learn, we experience, and as age progresses we become aware of facts which reinforces or destroys our beliefs. I believe what I have experienced and physically felt, not imagined. ;)
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When you die that's it......lights out. Nothing. SFA.
Pretty much the same as before you were born, I imagine. :)
......oh,and by the time the next two generations have dropped off the perch nobody will remember you were alive.
Of course I could be wrong. ;)
Yeah...you definitely could be wrong. We might not see two more generations. But I don't care, Im getting on now, so Ill be OK. :y
Would you like to be buried with your Daewoo, Steve?
The crappers don't want it. :)
EDIT....should read 'scrappers'. :)
Webuyanycar certainly want it. Almost tempted the other day, but what to replace it with? An omega estate......or twenty? :-\
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When you die that's it......lights out. Nothing. SFA.
Pretty much the same as before you were born, I imagine. :)
......oh,and by the time the next two generations have dropped off the perch nobody will remember you were alive.
Of course I could be wrong. ;)
Yeah...you definitely could be wrong. We might not see two more generations. But I don't care, Im getting on now, so Ill be OK. :y
Would you like to be buried with your Daewoo, Steve?
The crappers don't want it. :)
EDIT....should read 'scrappers'. :)
Webuyanycar certainly want it. Almost tempted the other day, but what to replace it with? An omega estate......or twenty? :-\
What did they offer you?. Be honest or you won't go to heaven. ;)
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When you die that's it......lights out. Nothing. SFA.
Pretty much the same as before you were born, I imagine. :)
......oh,and by the time the next two generations have dropped off the perch nobody will remember you were alive.
Of course I could be wrong. ;)
Yeah...you definitely could be wrong. We might not see two more generations. But I don't care, Im getting on now, so Ill be OK. :y
Would you like to be buried with your Daewoo, Steve?
The crappers don't want it. :)
EDIT....should read 'scrappers'. :)
Webuyanycar certainly want it. Almost tempted the other day, but what to replace it with? An omega estate......or twenty? :-\
What did they offer you?. Be honest or you won't go to heaven. ;)
Just under six. When I didn't bite, they sent me an email saying that, if I entered my details again, the price may have increased.
I took this to mean that they'd offered me a shit price and were willing to increase it by a tenner or so.
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Just made me mind up,going to spend all my money on ME! before I pop my clogs......then they'll remember me as the tight barsteward who left them SFA......lifes a bitch!!! ::) >:(
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When you die that's it......lights out. Nothing. SFA.
Pretty much the same as before you were born, I imagine. :)
......oh,and by the time the next two generations have dropped off the perch nobody will remember you were alive.
Of course I could be wrong. ;)
Yeah...you definitely could be wrong. We might not see two more generations. But I don't care, Im getting on now, so Ill be OK. :y
Would you like to be buried with your Daewoo, Steve?
The crappers don't want it. :)
EDIT....should read 'scrappers'. :)
Webuyanycar certainly want it. Almost tempted the other day, but what to replace it with? An omega estate......or twenty? :-\
What did they offer you?. Be honest or you won't go to heaven. ;)
Just under six. When I didn't bite, they sent me an email saying that, if I entered my details again, the price may have increased.
I took this to mean that they'd offered me a shit price and were willing to increase it by a tenner or so.
Six what?
Six apples
Six vestal virgins.
Surely you don't mean six thousand pounds? ::) ::) :)
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When you die that's it......lights out. Nothing. SFA.
Pretty much the same as before you were born, I imagine. :)
......oh,and by the time the next two generations have dropped off the perch nobody will remember you were alive.
Of course I could be wrong. ;)
Yeah...you definitely could be wrong. We might not see two more generations. But I don't care, Im getting on now, so Ill be OK. :y
Would you like to be buried with your Daewoo, Steve?
The crappers don't want it. :)
EDIT....should read 'scrappers'. :)
Webuyanycar certainly want it. Almost tempted the other day, but what to replace it with? An omega estate......or twenty? :-\
What did they offer you?. Be honest or you won't go to heaven. ;)
Just under six. When I didn't bite, they sent me an email saying that, if I entered my details again, the price may have increased.
I took this to mean that they'd offered me a shit price and were willing to increase it by a tenner or so.
Six what?
Six apples
Six vestal virgins.
Surely you don't mean six thousand pounds? ::) ::) :)
[/highlight]
Much worse than that Opti old chap, they offered him Six Omegas! :D ;D
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When you die that's it......lights out. Nothing. SFA.
Pretty much the same as before you were born, I imagine. :)
......oh,and by the time the next two generations have dropped off the perch nobody will remember you were alive.
Of course I could be wrong. ;)
Yeah...you definitely could be wrong. We might not see two more generations. But I don't care, Im getting on now, so Ill be OK. :y
Would you like to be buried with your Daewoo, Steve?
The crappers don't want it. :)
EDIT....should read 'scrappers'. :)
Webuyanycar certainly want it. Almost tempted the other day, but what to replace it with? An omega estate......or twenty? :-\
What did they offer you?. Be honest or you won't go to heaven. ;)
Just under six. When I didn't bite, they sent me an email saying that, if I entered my details again, the price may have increased.
I took this to mean that they'd offered me a shit price and were willing to increase it by a tenner or so.
Six what?
Six apples
Six vestal virgins.
Surely you don't mean six thousand pounds? ::) ::) :)
[/highlight]
Much worse than that Opti old chap, they offered him Six Omegas! :D ;D
£1200. That is an insult even for a Daewoo. ;D ;D
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Religion is a fantastic idea. I mean, give credit to whoever thought that one up. Keep the masses in line with promises of life after death, knowing full well it's impossible to disprove. Genius :y
..... and don't forget to give the church a tyth if you want to keep him upstairs happy ::) ::)
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This argument sums up what is wrong with most peoples interpretation of faith, be that organised or individual...
Believing in life after death/life eternal/20 virgins/a nice cup of tea* does not, in any way shape or form make you a better or more worthy person than anyone else.
And being of faith is absolutely no justification for killing and maiming anyone, ever.
Believe what you want to believe if it helps you sleep at night/get through the rainy days/appreciate the sunny days*, but don't you dare suggest that someone else is wrong because they don't or can't...
*delete as applicable.
Religion/Faith should be a personal moral compass, nothing more.
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I have a friend, an infidel. ;D When the conversation turns to religion he simply shrugs his shoulders and says ....."organised religion is fine for those who like that type of thing but personally I prefer to think for myself"
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This argument sums up what is wrong with most peoples interpretation of faith, be that organised or individual...
Believing in life after death/life eternal/20 virgins/a nice cup of tea* does not, in any way shape or form make you a better or more worthy person than anyone else.
And being of faith is absolutely no justification for killing and maiming anyone, ever.
Believe what you want to believe if it helps you sleep at night/get through the rainy days/appreciate the sunny days*, but don't you dare suggest that someone else is wrong because they don't or can't...
*delete as applicable.
Religion/Faith should be a personal moral compass, nothing more.
No one has done that on this thread, and whatever you believe is what you believe.......simples.
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I know you're Royalty and all, but I meant the 'royal' you ;D
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I know you're Royalty and all, but I meant the 'royal' you ;D
Fair enough Al ;D :y
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I don't normally get involved in religious stuff, because basically, I follow Mark's line of thought. I do not believe, period. However, I do not criticise those that do.
What fully baffles me though, is how the Islam religion is interpretated to such extremes. I constantly hear its a religion of peace, so how can the word 'peace' be converted into terrorism, killing, and butchery of innocent people.
I suppose people would argue that Christianity is interpretated in extremes, with which I agree.....the divisions in Ireland show that. That has involved killings of the innocent.
Naw...I think I'll stick with my own views of non belief....I am a father, and would not wish any misfortune or ill health on my children, which seems opposite the way the 'Father of Mankind' treats his. But as I said earlier, I do not have any issue with those who believe differently.
PS....sorry if this is a bit heavy, but I am currently watching my mother die, and it is not a pretty sight.
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I don't normally get involved in religious stuff, because basically, I follow Mark's line of thought. I do not believe, period. However, I do not criticise those that do.
What fully baffles me though, is how the Islam religion is interpretated to such extremes. I constantly hear its a religion of peace, so how can the word 'peace' be converted into terrorism, killing, and butchery of innocent people.
I suppose people would argue that Christianity is interpretated in extremes, with which I agree.....the divisions in Ireland show that. That has involved killings of the innocent.
Naw...I think I'll stick with my own views of non belief....I am a father, and would not wish any misfortune or ill health on my children, which seems opposite the way the 'Father of Mankind' treats his. But as I said earlier, I do not have any issue with those who believe differently.
PS....sorry if this is a bit heavy, but I am currently watching my mother die, and it is not a pretty sight.
I am so sorry to hear that Terbert. :'( :'( :'( As a Christian I firmly believe that your mother will go to a better life, without pain, fear, and tears. As you are a non-believer it must be hard to accept that. But, please try hard to get comfort from that thought and remember, without getting all religious (and I am not!) we have been promised ever lasting life, so our loved ones who depart will enter a new, better, existence; life does not end and we only go when our recal date comes up. :) :)
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When you die that's it......lights out. Nothing. SFA.
Pretty much the same as before you were born, I imagine. :)
......oh,and by the time the next two generations have dropped off the perch nobody will remember you were alive.
Of course I could be wrong. ;)
Yeah...you definitely could be wrong. We might not see two more generations. But I don't care, Im getting on now, so Ill be OK. :y
Would you like to be buried with your Daewoo, Steve?
The crappers don't want it. :)
EDIT....should read 'scrappers'. :)
Webuyanycar certainly want it. Almost tempted the other day, but what to replace it with? An omega estate......or twenty? :-\
What did they offer you?. Be honest or you won't go to heaven. ;)
Just under six. When I didn't bite, they sent me an email saying that, if I entered my details again, the price may have increased.
I took this to mean that they'd offered me a shit price and were willing to increase it by a tenner or so.
Paying them six grand for your Daewoo's eternal life seems a bit steep, Steve, scrapper will pay you £100, but that only gets the Daewoo a life of damnation. ::) ::) ::) ::)
For a modest £666 Reverend Rods will bless your car when in the crusher, so it goes to a higher place. ;D ;D ;D ;D
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In that case if a terrorist blows himself up on April the First, when he goes to personally claim his 72 virgins, does God say April Fool? ::) ::) ::) ::)
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(http://www.freearabs.com/images/TerroristDisappointment.jpg)