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Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Terbs on 06 May 2016, 23:53:19

Title: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: Terbs on 06 May 2016, 23:53:19
Hi all,
Today, we hopefully called closure to our family problems, which started with the loss of my mum, then Christine's mum. I have to say, out of all the funerals I have been to, this topped the lot.
Our Crem, now does slide shows during the 'Reflection' period, and my daughter sorted all that. But it was great to have the music (Memory) played whilst the pics were shown.
Chris, unfortunately, but only to be expected, has taken this very very hard, losing her mum, hence having to cancel out meet, and she wants me to convey her deep heart felt thanks to all of you that she knows, and others who on the forum, have sent private messages, or cards, or otherwise, have sent their condolences.
I have cleared the flat, which is now a bare shell, and Chris can't go down there now. Call me a hard bastid, but I'm afraid, after losing my dad, aged 57, 35 years ago, has made me bitter and twisted, as far as religion is concerned. So these last four months have gone over my head, so to speak.
I did ask the funeral director today, if he did season tickets !!!!!!
Sorry to put up a morbid post, but it means closure to me. Life will now go on
Title: Re: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: Lazydocker on 07 May 2016, 00:03:06
Hope this gives Chris the chance to move on. I'm pretty hard nosed about death too ;)
Title: Re: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: Sir Tigger KC on 07 May 2016, 00:09:07
Condolences to you both for your losses Tony and you are right, life does go on.  When our time comes we wouldn't have it any other way for those we leave behind.  ;)
Title: Re: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: Terbs on 07 May 2016, 00:47:07
Thanks chaps....this year started badly, but now, as I said earlier, closure now...keys to the flat go back on Monday, then we go off to Dorset for two months (with day trips back to sort stuff) so hopefully we can start to enjoy life again  (meaning no disrespect to the departed).
Obviously during this sad time, I have not been able to broach the question of Omega No 4. But, who knows what the future may bring. Personally, I think people will walk on Mars, before that comes to fruition ;D ;D
Title: Re: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: tigers_gonads on 07 May 2016, 10:30:32
Hope this gives Chris the chance to move on. I'm pretty hard nosed about death too ;)




Same here
Seen too much illness and suffering over the last 10 years or so  :(

I suppose its just a fact of life as you get older  :(
Title: Re: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: BazaJT on 07 May 2016, 14:55:28
Closure can be an important part of the grieving process,as you say it's sort of the beginning of the "now I/we can move on".Fairly soon any bad/rough times are forgotten[for want of a better word]and many a smile can be raised at the happier memories that live on.
Title: Re: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: Varche on 07 May 2016, 15:10:04
I hope things do get better for you from now on in.

My sister in law lost her dad and then her mother had a stroke and is permanently in a nursing home. She has just blocked out sorting the house out. Can't even go round on her own anymore. Quite sad.
Title: Re: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: TheBoy on 08 May 2016, 10:10:59
At least the technical bits are over, leaving you both with the memories, which will, as you know, slowly change from sadness towards happiness.

I'm of a certain age, so attend far more funerals than I do christenings or weddings, and am also a hard nosed sod...   ...but I did have a proper beefing session at Dad's when I saw the coffin, which I was expecting to be fine over, and only just held it together when we scattered his ashes. No other death has hit me harder, though its probably the closest I've had to suffer so far.
Title: Re: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: Terbs on 08 May 2016, 10:43:24
At least the technical bits are over, leaving you both with the memories, which will, as you know, slowly change from sadness towards happiness.

I'm of a certain age, so attend far more funerals than I do christenings or weddings, and am also a hard nosed sod...   ...but I did have a proper beefing session at Dad's when I saw the coffin, which I was expecting to be fine over, and only just held it together when we scattered his ashes. No other death has hit me harder, though its probably the closest I've had to suffer so far.

Although as you know, TB, we have lost both mums within 4 months and I was obviously sad, but I am a bit concerned that when I lost my dad 35 years ago, I was, as you say, 'beefed', but the latest two losses, have not had the same effect. Loved them both dearly, but I can't 'grieve' as such. Putting it down to my comment as a 'hard nosed bastid' :(
Title: Re: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: TheBoy on 08 May 2016, 19:56:52
At least the technical bits are over, leaving you both with the memories, which will, as you know, slowly change from sadness towards happiness.

I'm of a certain age, so attend far more funerals than I do christenings or weddings, and am also a hard nosed sod...   ...but I did have a proper beefing session at Dad's when I saw the coffin, which I was expecting to be fine over, and only just held it together when we scattered his ashes. No other death has hit me harder, though its probably the closest I've had to suffer so far.

Although as you know, TB, we have lost both mums within 4 months and I was obviously sad, but I am a bit concerned that when I lost my dad 35 years ago, I was, as you say, 'beefed', but the latest two losses, have not had the same effect. Loved them both dearly, but I can't 'grieve' as such. Putting it down to my comment as a 'hard nosed bastid' :(
My old man was my hero, so I put down my rare show of emotion to that...
Title: Re: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: henryd on 09 May 2016, 09:57:44
At least the technical bits are over, leaving you both with the memories, which will, as you know, slowly change from sadness towards happiness.

I'm of a certain age, so attend far more funerals than I do christenings or weddings, and am also a hard nosed sod...   ...but I did have a proper beefing session at Dad's when I saw the coffin, which I was expecting to be fine over, and only just held it together when we scattered his ashes. No other death has hit me harder, though its probably the closest I've had to suffer so far.

I lost my best mate that I grew up with last year and that was awful,both my parents are still here but have lived long happy lives so I don't think it will be as bad as at least its the natural way of events :-\
Title: Re: Hopefully, now back to normality
Post by: EMD on 09 May 2016, 11:44:32
Condolences to you and all tertbert .

I lost my sister a few years ago and havent got over it . Big c
just took her very quickly  :( I did cry a bit at the funeral but don't think
I've ever grieved or come to terms with it . Its difficult .