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Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: 78bex on 24 September 2016, 00:33:11

Title: Dementia care
Post by: 78bex on 24 September 2016, 00:33:11
Dementia in the elderly & particularly the care involved is now challenging our family
My Mum is 91 & since last christmas her mental facalties have now declined to the point where we have found her a local nursing home.
Prior to this my sister took her onboard but found it increasingly difficult to cope.
she used to toddle around with frames etc but can`t safely do that now
I popped into the nursing home about 5pm on the way back home after work.
I found her in the lounge, looking pretty tired & uncomfotable in a reclining chair.
On several occasions the care worker asked her if she wanted to return to her bedroom.
She looked slightly confused & said "sorry" several times, so I asked her the same question.
I kinda took control of the situation in the end & asked if she could now return to her room.
I can`t see into my Mums mind, so I`m not entirely sure if all reasoning powers have gone
Her appetite isn`t great either, it`s all a bit worrying for us.
Title: Re: Dementia care
Post by: Ever Ready on 24 September 2016, 05:55:50
It is a terrible debilitating illness, my uncle had it and it was very hard for family and friends to watch someone you have known all your life change from being as sharp as a tack to a child like figure in a short space of time.

Title: Re: Dementia care
Post by: tigers_gonads on 24 September 2016, 10:34:47
Lost my uncle who was like a second father to me a few years ago now.
Totally oppsed me up big style for a few days  :(
He was battling bladder cancer at the time and as sick as it may sound to some folks, I actually wanted the doctors to let the cancer kill him.

Friggin evil disease  >:(
Title: Re: Dementia care
Post by: amazonian on 24 September 2016, 16:36:13
My mother has Alzheimers, she also has heart disease, diabetes,liver failure and breast cancer.
She is 92 years old. more or less housebound due to lack of mobility, and spends her time either sleeping, doing wordsearches or colouring-in using crayons and childrens books.
She retains all the stoitism and standards of the older brigade and is known to her carers as the most optimistic and undemanding client they have ever met.
She suffers no pain and is entirely unaware of her illnesses, this being because she has Alzheimers and simply forgets how ill she really is.
I am proud of her and God bless her .
 :) :)
Title: Re: Dementia care
Post by: Migv6 le Frog Fan on 24 September 2016, 17:21:13
So you should be. :y  We often ignore the previous generation, but we can learn so much from them. Particularily their strength of character in adversity.
My admiration of my old Dad grew enormously when he had to face living alone after Mum died. He was obviously desperately unhappy, but tried his hardest to make the best of things.
He had many serious health problems, but never complained or moaned, even when he was in serious pain. Eventually he developed  vascular dementia and that was heartbreaking to watch. His dignity and pride were gone and he was a pitiful shell of the man he used to be.
He died just over two years ago, and it was a blessed release to be honest. I learnt a lot of lifes lessons from him in his later years though, before he died, and they will stay with me until I may be faced with the same situation as he was, when I hope I can face it with the same stoicism he did.
Title: Re: Dementia care
Post by: Toledodude1973 on 24 September 2016, 18:08:33
Reading the sad stories it bought it all back to me , earlier this year i lost a very close friend to dementia -just so horrible but caring with them to the end is the most comforting all round, im welling up now oh dear..............
Title: Re: Dementia care
Post by: Varche on 24 September 2016, 20:25:57
mm gone through this with two uncle in laws and now the mother in law.

Distressing for the individual. Very distressing for the family. The differential as ever between remembering minute detail from 50 years ago and anything at all from 50 minutes earlier is vast.

78bex. It is very worrying. All you can do is be there for your Mum when you can. Take old photos in to talk about or perhaps play music of that era.
Title: Re: Dementia care
Post by: 78bex on 24 September 2016, 22:16:28
mm gone through this with two uncle in laws and now the mother in law.

Distressing for the individual. Very distressing for the family. The differential as ever between remembering minute detail from 50 years ago and anything at all from 50 minutes earlier is vast.

78bex. It is very worrying. All you can do is be there for your Mum when you can. Take old photos in to talk about or perhaps play music of that era.

Thanks mate  :) Her daughter, granddaughters & great-granddaughters are heading her way tomorrow. Why are there so many women in this family  ;D
Title: Re: Dementia care
Post by: ronnyd on 25 September 2016, 20:13:30
I,ts my dear old Dads funeral tomorrow, luckily his torment didn,t last very long at all thankfully but will be glad when it,s all over if only for my dear old Mum. :'(
Title: Re: Dementia care
Post by: Toledodude1973 on 25 September 2016, 20:19:54
Hope it goes ok mate,done a couple of close ones this year.......never easy
Title: Re: Dementia care
Post by: YZ250 on 25 September 2016, 21:55:59
Not sure if the mother-in-law had dementia or Alzheimer's but I do know that I had to introduce myself every time I walked in to her house, even though she'd known me for over thirty four years.
Not nice seeing people drifting away.  :(