Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Doctor Gollum on 17 November 2016, 19:59:53
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Firstly excuse the ramblings. It's been a day and a half, and I am trying to process it all.
My Dad, whom I haven't seen for about two years, and haven't really spoken to much in that time either, died this morning. He was 70.
He hadn't been well for a while, being a typical doctorphobic man only went to this he doctor in September because a) his wife insisted and b) he could hardly breathe..., he had managed to turn a cold into a nasty form of pneumonia. He spent most of September and half of October in hospital, culminating in an air ambulance trip to Aberdeen. After three days they sent him home on the basis that he was responding well to the treatment and that he should be well on the mend.
Monday morning started with an ambulance to take him to intensive care as he could barely breathe unaided, and by Monday evening he was back in the air ambulance on his way back to Aberdeen. He was given a Brochoscopy yesterday lunchtime and was stable pending the results.
Fortunately I had called the hospital and had been able to speak to him, albeit briefly. I thought he sounded bad when I spoke to him when he first went in September, but he was clearly alot worse.
I spoke to my stepmother yesterday afternoon and she confirmed that it was a question of waiting for the results before deciding a course of treatment as there was clearly summat else going in beneath the pneumonia and that she would keep us informed.
I feared the worst when I missed a call from her before 6 am, and when I returned it, she had been calling to say that the hospital had rung telling her to prepare for the worst. Which happened at about 7:30.
The news has left me numb. My brother and I never had a particularly good relationship with our Dad... he never really rose to the job of parenthood, but he wasn't a bad father in the grand scheme of things. My brother seems to be taking it in a similar vane to me... It is what it is and no amount of screaming or arm waving will change anything, and the end was ultimately mercifully quick.
My stepmother is trying to put a brave face on things, but I know she is devastated. As is my mother, who has spent most of the afternoon dredging through all sorts of grievances, as she does whenever Dad's name is mentioned. They've been divorced nigh on 32 years...
The thing I am really struggling with though is that had I known what today would bring, I would have called my brother yesterday evening and suggested that he called, but hadn't as it was his birthday and I knew he was out for dinner. He knew Dad was back in hospital though, and like me was merely waiting for a progress report. It bothers me because when my Gran died in 2005, I had been able to visit her in hospital but she died the morning my brother was going to see her.
I just hope that he wasn't alone in the end as the earliest that we might have been able to get there would have been this morning, and that would have been too late, not that there was anything to be done.
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My sincere condolences, Al. Its never easy :'(
I don't really know what else to say, except its best to talk, let it out. Everyone on here will understand and help
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Know how you feel mate, my old Dad died a few weeks ago, (My post 99 and sadly out). He died on his own in hospital as it was early morning, suddenly, (mercifully) and neither me or my brother could have got there in time. There is nothing you can do in these circumstances and no amount of soul searching can change things. Hope things go well for you and yours and my condolences to you all. :(
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Sorry to hear this news, Al.
When the time comes, it's not necessarily possible to do everything that would be ideal, but you did what you could with the information available to you at the time, which is all anyone can do.
You and your family are in our thoughts.
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Thank you all.
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Don't blame yourself, Al.
In a perfect world everybody who needs to be there at the end is present. The loved one then slips quietly and peacefully away. Closure is easy and everybody moves on.
In reality (and I have been through this four or five times) it rarely works out that way.
There are few things more futile than the 'what if' scenario and I would not spend too much time on this.
Sorry to hear about your loss.
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Condolences Al, very sad times for you and your family. :'(
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Condolences to all :(
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I am so sorry to hear your news Al
Dont go around blaming yourself, better to just try and remember the good bits instead, but I know its not easy.
:(
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Very sorry Al, a rite of passage I'm afraid.
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Really sorry for your loss. Best not to dwell on the if's and but's.
I missed my father by an hour sadly :'(
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Sorry for your loss, Al.
If there's anything I can do, you know where to find me :y (Well, not literally given I've moved. If you go to the old house you'll find a burly Saffer instead!).
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Thank you again, trying to keep busy...
Lots of support and been talking things through with various people, which is helping alot :-*
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sorry to hear of your loss Al :(
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Sincere condolences on your loss.
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Just over 3 weeks ago, me and the missus was down with the van in skeggy.
Got a phone call off her brother to say her mother was in hospital with slow pulse / blood pressure and unable to go to the toilet so we jumped in the car and drove home pretty quick :-X
By the time we got there, she had been un bunged and was sat up eating friggin icecream and eyeing up the young doctors ::). She was 93 ;
Our lass gave her a tongue in cheek bollocking for having us worried and off we drove back to the van.
The next evening we decided to go out for a meal. Found the indian we use and sat down.
We was just about to order when her brother rings.
Her mother has had a seizure and the paramedics couldn't wake her up.
We knew it wasn't good and with the missus in hysterics because she was away with a ex boyfriend when her father past away after a massive stroke 28 years ago, I set off home.
The speeds I was doing was enough to get me locked up and it got to the point that I had to force myself to slow down or I know we wouldn't have made it :(
By the time we got to the hospital, the brakes had pretty much gone.
Sadly, her mother passed away while we were about half way home and the crazy drive was in vain :(
I still find myself asking if I could have done anything different but deep down inside, I know I couldn't :(
Al, nobody knows what's around the corner and that's just the way life is :(
I know it hurts now but it will get easier mate with time.
So sorry for your loss :(
Steve and family :(
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Sorry to hear this :(
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Preliminary autopsy findings suggest that Dads lungs were riddled with tumours. :'(
How that was missed two months ago, let alone earlier, raises a few questions :-X
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Sorry for your loss Al,going through similar myself as my Dad in final stages of leukemia :'(
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Apologies for the delay in picking up on this thread Al. My condolences to yourself and family and give my best to your mum.