Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Mr Skrunts on 05 October 2008, 21:00:57

Title: Joke Time
Post by: Mr Skrunts on 05 October 2008, 21:00:57

10 Commandments of a Teenager!!!

1) thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (why wait?)
2) thou shall not do drugz (alcohol last longer)
3) thou shall not steel from k-mart. (Wal*Mart has a bigger selection)
4) thou shall not get arrested for vandalism. (destruction has a bigger effect)
5) thou shall not steel from thy parents. (every-1 knows grandma has more money)
6) thou shall not get in fights. (just start them)
7) thou shall not skip class. (just take the whole day off)
8) thou shall not strip in class. (hooters pays more)
9) thou shall not think about having sex. (as nike sayz just do it)
10)thou shall not help old ladies cross the street. (just leave them in the middle)

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: Mr Skrunts on 05 October 2008, 21:02:14

Why are hurricanes normally named after women?

When they come they're wild and wet, but when they go they take your house and car with them!!

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: STMO123 on 05 October 2008, 21:04:35

Paddy rings up easyjet to book a flight. How many people will me travelling with you? I dont know, it's your rather plane.

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: Mr Skrunts on 05 October 2008, 21:07:54

How can you tell if your wife is dead?

The sex is the same but the dishes pile up!!

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: Mr Skrunts on 05 October 2008, 21:08:57

What's the only point of view a woman should have?

The kitchen window

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: miggy on 05 October 2008, 21:10:46

http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/1994-ROVER-220-GSI-TURBO-Yellow_W0QQitemZ280272464822QQcmdZViewItem?hash=item280272464822&_trkparms=39%3A1%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A7%7C240%3A1318&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14


 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D classic ;D

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: mick-1975 on 05 October 2008, 21:10:54

A dangerous virus is going around It is called work If you are offered work from anyone do not touch
  This virus wipes out your life completly.
If you should come into contact with work go straight to the nearest pub and order the only antidote
  which is alcohol.

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: unlucky alf on 05 October 2008, 21:28:59

whats the difference between a woman & a fridge???

a fridge dont fart when you take the meat out :o :o

[just awaiting the complaints now!!!!!]

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: Del Boy on 05 October 2008, 21:31:55

 ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: Mr Skrunts on 05 October 2008, 21:32:25

[size=14]In the beginning, God created the Earth and rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God or Man has had any rest.[/size]

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: Mr Skrunts on 05 October 2008, 21:33:19

A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman shopping in Knightsbridge and said "
I haven't eaten anything in four days!"
The woman looked at him and replied, "Wow, I wish I had your will power."

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: Mr Skrunts on 05 October 2008, 21:34:01

Young son: "Dad, is it true that in some parts of Africa, a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad: " That happens in every country, son."

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: unlucky alf on 05 October 2008, 21:40:05

a woman goes to see her chinese doctor,"doctor my husband doesnt want sex anymore", he tells her to strip naked & go on all fours then shuffle across the room then back again, the doctor says "you have what we call ED ZACKERY disease", what does that mean the woman asks, the doctor replies,,"it means your face is ED ZACKERY the same as your backside"!!!!,,,,,,BOOM-BOOM :D

Title: Re: Joke Time
Post by: Vamps on 05 October 2008, 22:39:12

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y :y