Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Welung666 on 23 October 2008, 12:45:15

Title: Ventriloquist (JOKE)
Post by: Welung666 on 23 October 2008, 12:45:15

A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Ozzie
'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Ozzie: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Ozzie: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Ozzie: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Ozzie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Ozzie: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Ozzie: (in a panic)'The sheep's a f*****' liar......'

Title: Re: Ventriloquist (JOKE)
Post by: Jimbob on 23 October 2008, 12:46:23

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Ventriloquist (JOKE)
Post by: Field Marshal Dr. Opti on 23 October 2008, 13:56:42

Quote

A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Ozzie
'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Ozzie: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Ozzie: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Ozzie: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Ozzie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Ozzie: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Ozzie: (in a panic)'The sheep's a f*****' liar......'

Is Skruntie an Ozzie? ;D ;D :D :D :y

Title: Re: Ventriloquist (JOKE)
Post by: Vamps on 23 October 2008, 23:01:50

Quote

Quote

A New Zealand ventriloquist visiting Australia walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Ozzie
'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Kiwi.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Ozzie: (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

Ozzie: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Ozzie: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Ozzie: (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements.'

Ozzie: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Ozzie: (in a panic)'The sheep's a f*****' liar......'

Is Skruntie an Ozzie? ;D ;D :D :D :y

Wrong guy, you mean richierich... ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Ventriloquist (JOKE)
Post by: waspy on 23 October 2008, 23:16:09

Nice  ;D ;D ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: Ventriloquist (JOKE)
Post by: Kieran on 24 October 2008, 09:05:42

excellent ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Ventriloquist (JOKE)
Post by: The Red Baron on 24 October 2008, 10:03:37

Very good.  ;D

Title: Re: Ventriloquist (JOKE)
Post by: jaykay on 24 October 2008, 15:29:37

Nice one ;D :y ;D :y