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Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: hotel21 on 30 November 2008, 10:49:50

Title: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: hotel21 on 30 November 2008, 10:49:50
Anyone got any others to add to the list??

1 Thinking outside of the box
2 Touch base
3 At the end of the day
4 Going forward
5 All of it
6 Blue sky thinking
7 Out of the box
8 Credit crunch
9 Heads up
10 Singing from the same hymn sheet
11 Pro-active
12 Downsizing
13 Ducks in a row
14 Brainstorming
15 Thought shower
16 360º thinking
17 Flag it up
18 Pushing the envelope
19 At this moment in time
20 In the loop
21 Helicopter view

Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: Marks DTM Calib on 30 November 2008, 11:43:29
Hmm, I think we need to 'touch base' as your 'out of the box' thinking has been 'flagged up' and its time to 'square the circle' or face 'deferred success'

Lol, I am fluent in it....its essential in my line of work
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 30 November 2008, 12:21:30
Quote
Anyone got any others to add to the list??

1 Thinking outside of the box
2 Touch base
3 At the end of the day
4 Going forward
5 All of it
6 Blue sky thinking
7 Out of the box
8 Credit crunch
9 Heads up
10 Singing from the same hymn sheet
11 Pro-active
12 Downsizing
13 Ducks in a row
14 Brainstorming
15 Thought shower
16 360º thinking
17 Flag it up
18 Pushing the envelope
19 At this moment in time
20 In the loop
21 Helicopter view


22. Empowerment
23. 360º Appraisal
24. Beyond economic repair
25. Redundant
26. A "Yes" person
27. The bottom line is
28. The net result is
29. Incentivise
30. Side step
31. Two ways to skin a cat
31. Flattened management structure


Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: Jay w on 30 November 2008, 12:21:39
i absolutly hate corporate tosserspeak to the point where if someone asks me a question i refuse to answer......

My standard response is.....i hear noise, i know something is required, but unless it is in plain english i cant help......

amazing the responses i get

but to add one that really winds me up

Clear water
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: albitz on 30 November 2008, 12:26:11
As an old workmate of mine used to say when he encountered pretentious people "talk proper for f*cks sake."
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: gwa on 30 November 2008, 12:53:44
Quote
Quote
Anyone got any others to add to the list??

1 Thinking outside of the box
2 Touch base
3 At the end of the day
4 Going forward
5 All of it
6 Blue sky thinking
7 Out of the box
8 Credit crunch
9 Heads up
10 Singing from the same hymn sheet
11 Pro-active
12 Downsizing
13 Ducks in a row
14 Brainstorming
15 Thought shower
16 360º thinking
17 Flag it up
18 Pushing the envelope
19 At this moment in time
20 In the loop
21 Helicopter view


22. Empowerment
23. 360º Appraisal
24. Beyond economic repair
25. Redundant
26. A "Yes" person
27. The bottom line is
28. The net result is
29. Incentivise
30. Side step
31. Two ways to skin a cat
31. Flattened management structure



32. I'd rather be standing on the outside of the tent pi$$ing in than on the inside pi$$ing out
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: hotel21 on 30 November 2008, 13:13:39
http://www.codehot.co.uk/puzzle/bingo1.htm

This could be a good game for a boring meeting....
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 30 November 2008, 13:18:48
Quote
http://www.codehot.co.uk/puzzle/bingo1.htm

This could be a good game for a boring meeting....

Reading that has reminded me so much of my business life I feel quite sick!! ::) ::) ::) ;)
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: hotel21 on 30 November 2008, 13:27:08
This one would be good if writing jargon based reports....

http://www.acronymfinder.com/buzzgen.asp

pick a number!!
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 30 November 2008, 13:30:38
Quote
This one would be good if writing jargon based reports....

http://www.acronymfinder.com/buzzgen.asp

pick a number!!

By entering '995' I have just created "Balanced Policy Concept (BPC)" which I am quite proud of Hotel21!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

It seems very familiar to me somehow; may have used it before at some board meeting!! 8-) 8-) 8-) :D ;)
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: hotel21 on 30 November 2008, 13:32:39
'kin ell....  Theres loads of the things!!   ;D

I like this one - you can even change the language - technolatin, collabolatin or identolatin....

http://www.buzzphraser.com/
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 30 November 2008, 13:38:20
Quote
'kin ell....  Theres loads of the things!!   ;D

I like this one - you can even change the language - technolatin, collabolatin or identolatin....

http://www.buzzphraser.com/


I have a headache now!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: amigov6 on 30 November 2008, 15:52:36
 8-)We need a balance of blue & white collar workers, neither could exist without the other , but i've got no patience with such pretenciuos pillocks & stuck in such an environment i'd tell them to listen to themselves & shut up but i'm a self confessed gobsh*te so equally as bad in my own way. Not my area so the only two i can think of are,
    
 "Lets draw a line under this & move on"

  Any sentence or statement that involves the word "Mindset" ::)
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: HerefordElite on 30 November 2008, 17:47:55
next time you've got a meeting print off a copy of this :

http://www.gonzalobarr.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/buzzword.jpg

and play "buzzword bingo" it's great  ;)
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: jjleonard on 30 November 2008, 18:15:56
Quote
Quote
Anyone got any others to add to the list??

1 Thinking outside of the box
2 Touch base
3 At the end of the day
4 Going forward

5 All of it
6 Blue sky thinking
7 Out of the box
8 Credit crunch
9 Heads up
10 Singing from the same hymn sheet
11 Pro-active

12 Downsizing
13 Ducks in a row
14 Brainstorming

15 Thought shower
16 360º thinking
17 Flag it up
18 Pushing the envelope
19 At this moment in time
20 In the loop
21 Helicopter view


22. Empowerment
23. 360º Appraisal
24. Beyond economic repair
25. Redundant
26. A "Yes" person
27. The bottom line is
28. The net result is
29. Incentivise
30. Side step
31. Two ways to skin a cat
31. Flattened management structure



Oh no - I am a corporate w*nker. I have used all the phrases highlighted above - this is what happens when you work with IT consultants on multi-million pound projects in education all day.  :-[
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: hotel21 on 30 November 2008, 18:24:04
Another word thats come to mind is 'robust'.  Used loads within police gaffer circles as well as politics.  'We must take a robust approach... etc'.   :P
Title: Re: Corporate w*nkspe*k
Post by: albitz on 30 November 2008, 18:33:11
Most of them need a robust kick up the *rse. :D ;D