Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: bertiecbx550 on 31 December 2008, 19:35:15
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I`ve had some bad news this week regarding my parents...My mum has not been well since sept suffering various virus infections and on sunday i had to call for an ambulance to take her to hospital as she was in pain with what we beleived was her arthuritus only to be told that there is a chance its bone cancer after her GP told us that her bloodwork was showing abnormalties and now she would have to go for a isotopic bone scan but she could not authorise it and would have to contact her consultant she was under after having breast cancer to arrange it so they released her and we went home on sunday..yesterday i bought her a single bed so she did not have to climb the stairs as this is painful for her and she was sleeping in a armchair....then to top it all today my dads suffered a stroke with all the stress of struggling to look after her and the house.....i`ve done my best to help as has my brother but my dads a proud man and does not want help i`ve just got back from hospital as he`s being kept in to take over from my brother and look after my mum...I`m just at sixes and sevens at the mo cause i just dont know what else i can do..i mean do i get social services involved? how do i go about getting stuff for them?like camodes or walking aids or even home help? if anybody knows please tell me cause i`m getting upset over this as i never been in this position before..... :'(
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Really sorry to hear the bad news about Mum and Dad. Lost my Mum May this year. When my Dad was at home with terminal cancer a few years back we contacted the social services and they took care of everything re; liasing with relevant authorities. Give them a call, explain the situation I`m sure they will do whatever they can to assist. Hope all ends well and all the family have a happy and healthy new year. :)
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I can't offer much advice, I'm afraid, other than to wish both Mum and Dad a speedy recovery. :(
Kevin
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Sorry to hear about your family mate but as Rob said contact social services they should be able to offer you all the help you need
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Bertie,speak to the staff where your mum is being treated,ask to be put in contact with Macmillan trust,pretty sure they will help/advise on all the issues involved.
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Very sorry to hear your news, and I would add that you should seek advice from your parents GP or your GP on how the situation can be helped by the various authorities, Social Services and the local NHS Trust.
All the very best and my prayers will be with you. :-*
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Oh matey, my thoughts are with your parents.
Just be there for your Dad he will lean on you when he is ready, it will be when he is ready.
As for social services they will be a Godsend, get the hospital or Doctor to do you an imediate referal, Your Doctor will be able to point you in all sorts of directiones for Help, advice and support.
Keep us posted matey, and be strong.
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Hey mate, i think i'm like most people here & we just don't know what to say. The lass over the road from me is in this kinda business & deals with it from day to day, she says what Rob said :y
My heart goes out to mate, it really does. I hope things get better for you & your parents soon.
Keep your chin up mate, because your mum & dad need you more now than ever.
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Know how you feel mate, had similar last year, lost mum in spring after long illness, (looked after her & dad) then Dad passed away in October, again after short illness. As oldest child,had all the worry of both to deal with.
Ask to speak to the hospital's social workers. They were marvellous for me, made phone calls to other departments, when mum was in hosp ill & dad couldn't cope.
They got Mum and Dad a dedicated social worker, who helped sort out homecare, and all sorts of little extras like commodes, zimmer frames, wheelchairs, and the 'lifeline' telephone setup.
Can't speak highly enough of them.
Really feel for you at this time, hope that all gets sorted quickly. Having been there myself, I know just how sickening this all can be.
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Really sorry to hear about this Bertie. Would your mum be better off being looked after in hospital for a few days until things get sorted? I know that could prove difficult but I dont see how else the her basic needs could be sorted out so quickly over the holidays. Failing that you need to harass social services until they agree to help, that's their role in all this.
Good luck mate.
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Berti i lost my mum in october there , sounds pretty much the same she went through chemo , operations and everything for breast cancer since dec last year ,she took a pain in her back thought it was a pulled muscle but was cancer back but it had spread throughout her body she was only 51,so i feel for you mate and please if you need to get summit of your chest just give me a pm always a shoulder here :'(
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Symathies mate, seems your questions have been answered. My thoughts are with you. Off to Sussex to spend the night @ my parents tomorrow. They're not getting any younger & it plays on my mind to say the least.
Best wishes, Guy.
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Oh dear - sorry I can't do much beyond best wishes
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Your care and interest will make them happy..Even thats enough for them..I wish them a quick recovery and a healthy life..
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Sorry to hear the news Matey. Local surgery nurses, hospital occupational therapists and Macmillan nurses were all a Godsend when my mum passed a few years back ( we nursed her at home at her wish). Never be afraid to ask for help -- there is lots out there.
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Very sad to read that. As said, the Macmillan Trust is very helpful with practical issues.
My thoughts are with you and I hope that the New Year brings your parents better health.
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Sorry to hear of the bad news mate, as said, try to keep strong. :'(
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Sorry to hear such sad news and at this time of year it's even more saddening!
As said above... Seek help from Social Services and any other local groups who can help... The hospital will be able to help you get in touch :y :y
If you need to let off steam, you know where we are :y :y
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Very sorry to hear such bad news about your mum and dad,you keep strong, as they need you now to help them thro all this.I hope the new year brings all you wish for, and my best wishes to your mum and dad,Regards Cliff.
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Very sorry to hear your news, can offer no further advice than has been given, Macmillan and Social Services, the hospital may make the referral to Social Services for you, this would speed things up a little.
Both parents better off in hospital until a service package can be set up for them, which is not likely to be before the 5th at the earliest.
My thoughts and best wishes are with you and yours......
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Our thoughts are with you, very sorry to hear such sad thoughts. Hugs don't do much but sending them your way and please contact social services. If needs be, there are emergency hours teams out there that can help and I know its hard but just concentrate on getting through the next few days.., don't think about any further than that and then once the hols are over you can sort the future out. Deal with what you can and leave the rest til you can do something about it (rather than worrying about 'the future')., its the best way.
And be proud of yourself for being there for your parents. Don't forget to look after yourself too.
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It`s 5am ish and i`m up with mum i`ve just read all of your kind messages ands it heartwarming and tearful to say the least my brother is coming over today with his wife and they are gonna do a lot of housework and help me mum have a shower and freshen up a bit...I`m overwhelmed wih your kindness and advice and i will contact social services today if poss to see if we can get sum homehelp or respite for her as she is worried about dad and vice versa many thanx to all of you guys and gals and happy new year
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Dude, Im very sorry to hear of the problems you are facing right now.
I lost both my parents in 2008, 18 days between them. Dad had been in physical agony for some time, mum had mental issues.
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I looked up for carers associations in Wolverhampton (your profile says you are there). I didnt learn about the ones round here soon enough for them to do me any good, but its worth a try.
http://www.wolverhampton.gov.uk/health_social_care_2/adult_social_care/carer_support
Also:
Carers Centre
22 Queen Street
Wolverhampton
West Midlands
WV1 3JW
Tel: 01902 553409
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I`ve had some bad news this week regarding my parents...My mum has not been well since sept suffering various virus infections and on sunday i had to call for an ambulance to take her to hospital as she was in pain with what we beleived was her arthuritus only to be told that there is a chance its bone cancer after her GP told us that her bloodwork was showing abnormalties and now she would have to go for a isotopic bone scan but she could not authorise it and would have to contact her consultant she was under after having breast cancer to arrange it so they released her and we went home on sunday..yesterday i bought her a single bed so she did not have to climb the stairs as this is painful for her and she was sleeping in a armchair....then to top it all today my dads suffered a stroke with all the stress of struggling to look after her and the house.....i`ve done my best to help as has my brother but my dads a proud man and does not want help i`ve just got back from hospital as he`s being kept in to take over from my brother and look after my mum...I`m just at sixes and sevens at the mo cause i just dont know what else i can do..i mean do i get social services involved? how do i go about getting stuff for them?like camodes or walking aids or even home help? if anybody knows please tell me cause i`m getting upset over this as i never been in this position before..... :'(
Sorry to hear your news, not a very good start to the New Year, lets hope & pray that things improve as we progress into 2009. As for the question, the CAB and Social Services may have a list of charitable and non-charitable org's that can help. Add Red Cross to the list as well.
Take care and be positive (difficult I know)
Edit: and your GP / Surgery
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Berti sorry to hear about your parents. Keep your chin up and you will get through this.
Best Wishes
Dusty
:-* :-* :-*
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lost my mum to cancer 6 yrs ago,macmillan peeps were briliant help and support,before during and after.
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Very sorry to hear your news.
Social services have been very good with our olds. There is actually a lot of help available from home modification ( wet bathrooms, easier to use toilets, lifts as just three examples) then there is financial help possibly available though that maybe means tested. With that it is possible in The East Midlands to pay for weekly help e.g. help with showering from a same sex person every other day, cleaning of house once a week.
You may encounter "I don't want any of that sort of thing" responses as that generation are fiercly independent and don't want help or handouts. Persevere as there are also hidden benefits. Regular contact with the outside world, formal structure to each week and the visiting carers know who to contact if there is a change in the persons circumstances.
When things have settled down in a few weeks, spend some time with them and watch what they do. You will be surprised at little things you can change that will make a big big impact on their daily lives. Could be stuff like an Intercom phone, brass bell, moving a favourite chair into a different room.
You might also try talking your local help the aged or Red Cross for helpful advice. They often know of people selling stuff like buggies, electric lifting chairs and the like.
There is a wealth of help out there it really is just a matter of lining it up.
Keep positive, Good luck
varche
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sounds similar to my m8s situation, he had to put his dad in care cause couldnt cope with it, hes now got to sell his dads house to pay for it, they have insisted he pays for community care, same with my uncle. form what ive seen it is a very stressful and hard situation to be in. doing whats best is not always the easiest thing to do when its people you care about the most. best wishes m8