Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Marie on 10 January 2009, 17:03:04
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my son that is......arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hubby is going to get a gob full to at this rate. he just walks off!
son is driving me round the bend. hes only 4 but god.
he back chats, yells at us is rebellious and his temper is shocking.
i have tried the naughty step and putting him in his bed, its just not working!
god here we go again.............HELP!!!!!
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puberty at 4 maybe? i didnt do that til I was about 12, i feel so sorry now for my folks, but they did manage somehow. think drink helped them lol
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give him a choco bar :y
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tell him santa is on his collection run from naughty boys
i'm constantly on the lookout for him ;D ;D ;D
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Don't throttle him HUG him ::) :y
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Has he been checked for that attention disorder thing.... :-/
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give him a choco bar :y
oh right reward bad behaviour! ummmmmm let me think about it ...NOPE NOT IN THIS HOUSE!
Drink must have helped our old dears. its not workin for me or i am not drinking enough :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/
i hate shouting at him but its all i seam to do at the mo! dont seem to have any good times at the mo.... :'(
oh and if he dont get what he wants straight away .............well you can imagine.
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Has he been checked for that attention disorder thing.... :-/
you think it might be adhd..............dunno thought they had learning difficultiys too, hwere as shane dont hes quite bright.
most likely hes push out the boundrys and findin out it anit going to wash with us.
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give him a choco bar :y
oh right reward bad behaviour! ummmmmm let me think about it ...NOPE NOT IN THIS HOUSE!
Drink must have helped our old dears. its not workin for me or i am not drinking enough :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/ :-/
i hate shouting at him but its all i seam to do at the mo! dont seem to have any good times at the mo.... :'(
oh and if he dont get what he wants straight away .............well you can imagine.
or else punish him ;D :y
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Ignore him. It may be hard at first, but if you say noting then he cant either. then when it comes to a treat he has then got to earn it.
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Ignore him. It may be hard at first, but if you say noting then he cant either. then when it comes to a treat he has then got to earn it.
i do but its a bit difficult when he has attached himself to your leg and anit letting go pmsl.
just got to keep to my guns and not let my guard down.
just dont know whats happened hes normally a very well behavied well mannered little man!
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Ignore him. It may be hard at first, but if you say noting then he cant either. then when it comes to a treat he has then got to earn it.
i do but its a bit difficult when he has attached himself to your leg and anit letting go pmsl.
just got to keep to my guns and not let my guard down.
just dont know whats happened hes normally a very well behavied well mannered little man!
they grow up..and change..
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we had all this with ray, and me thinking it was right to smack him as i was brought up this way, strict. then i smacked him one day in temper and he flew across the room. never felt so bad in my life and since that day i have never laid a finger on him or my other child. its hard to know whats the right thing to do sometimes and very stressful. i wasnt a good parent if im honest, either in the pub, working or sleeping. now im the best father going i reckon and im proud of what i have become now and the bond we have. :)
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covered in an earlier post
http://www.omegaowners.com/forum/YaBB.pl?num=1231455333
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see i think i am a bad mum some times.
i work all the time and spend hardly anytime with my son.
but is this my job? (royal navy leading aircraft engineering technichan)
i want whats best for him and i know keeping my job with whats going on in the uk today is a good start.
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see i think i am a bad mum some times.
i work all the time and spend hardly anytime with my son.
but is this my job? (royal navy leading aircraft engineering technichan)
i want whats best for him and i know keeping my job with whats going on in the uk today is a good start.
i used to think that but they understand more now, my x is a saint most of the time but does get me goat when she cant control the eldest and rings me. i know i was the worse kid going but that was the fault of my father for all the beating i used to get when young. so i cant say a lot to my kids now.
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You feel guilty about applying discipline ... he knows this and plays on it .. you feel even worse .. he plays on it even more..... :(
Its a battle he is winning. Unfortunately the only answer is tough love.
He must learn, the hard way if neccessary, that you are the boss and your word is law. Otherwise things will just get worse.
Believe it or not .. 48 hours of extreme hard work will ensure results . the only thing is .. and this is critical ... both your and your hubby MUST be exactly the same on ALL matters, or he'll play one against the other. and you'll end up fighting each other.
I came home from a detachment many moons ago to exactly this situation ... my wife had allowed things to go soft as the lad seemed to upset at me being away ... clever lad was playing it for all it was worth .. aged 5 !!! None of us enjoyed the following 48 hours, but once he realised he would not get his own way normality returned.
23 years later we still get on and he takes me to the pub to buy me a beer :)
It might sound daft .. but right now he needs you to be a parent .. not a friend .... too many folks try to be their kids friend .. don't work IMHO ... :(
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entwood you are so right! and 90 % of the time me and jase do agree.
shane just doesnt seem to learn. >:( >:( >:(
he does play us off against each other and we have both learnt to ask each other before we say anything to shane.
i suppose i and tired of fighting with shane. but i cant give up now.
its like a switch with shane one minute hes great and i mean bl@@dy great then the next its like the devil has got hold of him! :o
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when i told the youngest off he would just stare at me for ages, was a bit creepy to be honest, he would not move until i smiled at him, could be 10 or 15 mins at a time. then he would just carry on playing. ;D ;D
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when i told the youngest off he would just stare at me for ages, was a bit creepy to be honest, he would not move until i smiled at him, could be 10 or 15 mins at a time. then he would just carry on playing. ;D ;D
i wish shane would do this, he starts throwing stuff then kicking and punchin walls and doors. hes like a little pi$$ed off drunk when he starts. ;D :( :o
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when i told the youngest off he would just stare at me for ages, was a bit creepy to be honest, he would not move until i smiled at him, could be 10 or 15 mins at a time. then he would just carry on playing. ;D ;D
i wish shane would do this, he starts throwing stuff then kicking and punchin walls and doors. hes like a little pi$$ed off drunk when he starts. ;D :( :o
Marie, you need to nip this in the bud NOW, such behaviour will only get worse, the rows more freequent and your enjoyment of your child less. Entwood is right, firm but fair and he should soon learn. Good Luck. :y :y :y
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when i told the youngest off he would just stare at me for ages, was a bit creepy to be honest, he would not move until i smiled at him, could be 10 or 15 mins at a time. then he would just carry on playing. ;D ;D
i wish shane would do this, he starts throwing stuff then kicking and punchin walls and doors. hes like a little pi$$ed off drunk when he starts. ;D :( :o
What I did .. and remember I'm not an expert by any means .... ALL his toys, books .. everything .. went in a box and didn't come out until he behaved. In those days no compters.TV's etc in their rooms .. I made life very very tedious and boring for him (and us BTW) and he was allowed no choices in anything... it was ALL do as I say until he co-operated, then for every thing he did right... . something was returned.... when he misbehaved .. it ALL went.. everything back to the start.
He never ever tried to kick/punch etc .. if he had he WOULD have been smacked .. HARD.
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Typical 4 year pushing his boundaries.
We get that and sometimes it lasts for an hour or more.
Its a case of never give in....my little one has been stood on the front door step with no pants on for 10 minutes screaming before and I have removed the door handle from his room so he couldn't get out on more than one occasion.
Generaly, hes a good lad though!.
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jases dad did this to him but he never got it back it went in the bin on bin day. needless to say jase always had a clean room! ;D ;D ;D
i might just try it tomorrow. that will be one hell of a shock to him.
but then he doesnt get time to play with them in the week, lets see how tomorrow goes.
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Don't do it tomorrow and try to shock him .. do it NOW .. in front of him .. and explain why as you do it...... he doesn't need surprise or shocks .. he needs control ... and that requires explanations for everything you do in response to his actions ...
When he is good and you return something .. tell him why .. when he is bad and you clear his room again .. also tell him why ... :y :y :y
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hes being good right now which is a shock!
we explain all our actions to him i used to hate my mother says because i said so or because i told you to!
he has cried himself to sleep the last 2 days.
its the false cryin i cant handle :-[
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You think it's bad now .... wait while he's 19 or 20! :o
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You think it's bad now .... wait while he's 19 or 20! :o
he wont be living at home at that age! he will be long gone by then!
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my son that is......arhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
hubby is going to get a gob full to at this rate. he just walks off!
son is driving me round the bend. hes only 4 but god.
he back chats, yells at us is rebellious and his temper is shocking.
i have tried the naughty step and putting him in his bed, its just not working!
god here we go again.............HELP!!!!!
Could he get this from you I wonder? ;D
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i dont think so! dad maybe good possibility ;D ;D ;D
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entwood you are so right! and 90 % of the time me and jase do agree.
shane just doesnt seem to learn. >:( >:( >:(
he does play us off against each other and we have both learnt to ask each other before we say anything to shane.
i suppose i and tired of fighting with shane. but i cant give up now.
its like a switch with shane one minute hes great and i mean bl@@dy great then the next its like the devil has got hold of him! :o
when we had this issue we told the boys - get caught doing this and no electrical devices for 1 day for the 1st try, 2 days for 2nd, etc
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Typical 4 year pushing his boundaries.
We get that and sometimes it lasts for an hour or more.
Its a case of never give in....my little one has been stood on the front door step with no pants on for 10 minutes screaming before and I have removed the door handle from his room so he couldn't get out on more than one occasion.
Generaly, hes a good lad though!.
you give in once and you have made arod for you're own back.
Another few tips :-
do NOT discuss their behaviour in front of them with other adults
do NOT contradict the other parent in front of them
do NOT make excuses for them in front of them with other adults
They are devious little oppsers - end of
if you brake the above rules they will use it against you
friends of mine used to go on holiday with another family, whose mother would excuse her kids behaviour with " they are too young to know any better", whenever my friend stopped them doing something wrong, one of them (3 year old) would say "we are too young to know any better" :(
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Typical 4 year pushing his boundaries.
We get that and sometimes it lasts for an hour or more.
Its a case of never give in....my little one has been stood on the front door step with no pants on for 10 minutes screaming before and I have removed the door handle from his room so he couldn't get out on more than one occasion.
Generaly, hes a good lad though!.
you give in once and you have made arod for you're own back.
Another few tips :-
do NOT discuss their behaviour in front of them with other adults
do NOT contradict the other parent in front of them
do NOT make excuses for them in front of them with other adults
They are devious little crappity smackers - end of
if you brake the above rules they will use it against you
friends of mine used to go on holiday with another family, whose mother would excuse her kids behaviour with " they are too young to know any better", whenever my friend stopped them doing something wrong, one of them (3 year old) would say "we are too young to know any better" :(
But also please remember that if you say No, there should be a valid reason for it, not just because you can't be bothered. ::) As they get a little older you can explain why and it helps them to understand :) however forget that when they are teenagers and live 'Day to Day' easier with some than others, I am already worrying about this with my daughter and she is only 8. ::) ::) ::)