Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Marks DTM Calib on 23 February 2009, 08:27:33

Title: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: Marks DTM Calib on 23 February 2009, 08:27:33
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!

Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: TheBoy on 23 February 2009, 08:33:19
Quote
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!

heard the joke before, but never that term ;D :y
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: JamesV6CDX on 23 February 2009, 08:38:46
Nice one...  ;D
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: Jimbob on 23 February 2009, 08:39:19
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: nick v6 on 23 February 2009, 09:05:01
i thought you was serious at first till i red the rest of it
never herd that one
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: Dawes on 23 February 2009, 09:11:43
A woman can fit a 6 inch c*** in her quarter inch p****, but try to get her to park a 15 foot car in a 25 foot space.......
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 23 February 2009, 11:46:42
Quote
A woman can fit a 6 inch c*** in her quarter inch p****, but try to get her to park a 15 foot car in a 25 foot space.......

For most women, no problem, but for some men..........forget it, and you cannot open your door because they have arrogantly parked over the line, too close to you. ::) ::) ::) ::) >:( >:(

As for the first bit; I think you have that the wrong way around (we don't have a p....!!), and just proves why some men I have known find it all so difficult!! ;D ;D ;D ;)
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: woodsy_mv6 on 23 February 2009, 11:53:44
Quote
A woman can fit a 6 inch c*** in her quarter inch p****, but try to get her to park a 15 foot car in a 25 foot space.......

 ;D FPMSL :y
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: woodsy_mv6 on 23 February 2009, 11:55:19
Quote
As for the first bit; I think you have that the wrong way around (we don't have a p....!!), and just proves why some men I have known find it all so difficult!! ;D ;D ;D ;)
I think both are animal references :D
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: Dusty on 23 February 2009, 12:06:07
Quote
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!




You are just jealous because women are better at multi-tasking. ;D ;D :-* :-* :-*
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: nick v6 on 23 February 2009, 12:10:34
Quote
Quote
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!




You are just jealous because women are better at multi-tasking. ;D ;D :-* :-* :-*

 :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X :-X
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 23 February 2009, 15:28:57
 ;D ;D ;D :y
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: stuart30 on 23 February 2009, 15:45:31
Quote
Quote
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!




You are just jealous because women are better at multi-tasking. ;D ;D :-* :-* :-*

Na men can multitask.....i often do on msn.... ;D

Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: doog on 23 February 2009, 15:48:13
Quote
Quote
This morning on the motorway, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new BMW doing 75Mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds!

And when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.

As a man, I don't scare easily. But she scared me so much; I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the meat pie out of my other hand.

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees
against the steering wheel, it knocked my mobile phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned Big Jim and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.

Bloody women drivers!!




You are just jealous because women are better at multi-tasking. ;D ;D :-* :-* :-*

if that is true then why cant women have sex and a headache  at the same time?  ;)

Doug
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: Marks DTM Calib on 23 February 2009, 16:08:09
Women might well be able to multitask.....but they never finish ANY of them!
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: Lazydocker on 23 February 2009, 16:43:58
Quote
Women might well be able to multitask.....but they never finish ANY of them!

Beat me to it... IME women do many jobs badly/incompletely whilst men do 1 correctly and completely, then move on to finish the next one started by the women in his life ::) ::) ::) :D :D :D
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: nick v6 on 23 February 2009, 16:45:17
Quote
Quote
Women might well be able to multitask.....but they never finish ANY of them!

Beat me to it... IME women do many jobs badly/incompletely whilst men do 1 correctly and completely, then move on to finish the next one started by the women in his life ::) ::) ::) :D :D :D

110% true that is :y
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: Kevin Wood on 23 February 2009, 17:30:16
Quote
Quote
Women might well be able to multitask.....but they never finish ANY of them!

Beat me to it... IME women do many jobs badly/incompletely whilst men do 1 correctly and completely, then move on to finish the next one started by the women in his life ::) ::) ::) :D :D :D

You forgot the bit about forgetting all other jobs on the list, and any jobs added to the list whilst carrying out the first task. Listening is a task, as is remembering, and men don't multi task. Not surprising that they can be found relaxing with a beer after completing the first task. ;)

Kevin
Title: Re: Bloody Women Drivers!
Post by: TheBoy on 23 February 2009, 17:56:16
Quote
Women might well be able to multitask.....but they never finish ANY of them!
EXACTLY Mr DTM.

When we do a job, we stay focused on it until complete.

Now, please will you tell Mrs TheBoy that ;D