Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: portomega on 18 March 2009, 21:50:04
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Gordon Brown shocked car makers this week by announcing that all cars must be electric by next Tuesday. Speaking at some dreadful symposium or other, the Prime Minister outlined his radical new plan which he had drawn on the back of a Chinese takeaway menu whilst he was rifling through The Independent’s website looking for more crap and ill considered ideas about reducing CO2 emissions.
The PM underlined his commitment to things he clearly knows opps all about with a sensational £497 billion commitment to improve the country’s electric car infrastructure. ‘I want Britain to become the electric car capital of the world,’ Brown stated. ‘I hope that people from other nations will come to Britain and see our cities full of flimsy, slow moving fibreglass cars and think, yes, this is a modern, successful country’. When asked how the new infrastructure investment would be spent, Brown added that there would ‘probably be more plugs in the street and stuff’.
The Prime Minister finished his speech, in which he was plainly reading words off a page with no idea what they mean, up to and including the word ‘car’, by outlining an even more radical plan to supply the electricity that will power Britain’s electric car fleet. ‘Fossil fuelled power stations emit high levels of CO2,’ he said. ‘There is also a great deal of controversy surrounding nuclear power stations. That is why I am announcing that in future all British power stations will run on electricity’.
Mr Brown then left the stage before anyone could point out that his transport policy is utterly oppsing clueless.
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lmfao
;D ;D ;D
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Lol ;D To be fair I could see it being the truth soon
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After cracking down on drivers who use a mobile phone, smoke or eat, the government this week announced that it is considering an even more radical safety move – making it illegal to use a steering wheel.
‘Our research shows that having to grapple with a large circular device whilst in a fast moving vehicle could be quite literally lethal,’ said Lesbo Bells, spkoksman for the Department of Wasting Everyone’s Time With Unbelievably Patronising Shite. ‘That’s why we’re looking at proposals to make this dangerous pursuit illegal as soon as possible’.
DoWETWUOS sources say the proposed new ruling will be enforced with a raft of new digital cameras, mounted on top of other cameras which will be used to read people’s Switch cards so that all the money can be drained from their account the instant they are seen doing anything illegal involving a motor vehicle, such as driving it, sitting in it or looking at it with anything but that sort of dismal, lemon sucking face that people on bicycles do.
‘Banning people from using the steering wheel whilst on the move will significantly reduce accidents and road casualties,’ Mr Bells claimed. ‘Do you have a car?’ he added. ‘Oh good, please give me another £538 for no reason whatsoever’.
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<-------------- Yup ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Oxegen tax ;) I've been practising holding my breath :y
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Oxegen tax ;) I've been practising holding my breath :y
Cheap for me then, I only have 1 lung...... :y :y :'( :'( :'(
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Oxegen tax ;) I've been practising holding my breath :y
Cheap for me then, I only have 1 lung...... :y :y :'( :'( :'(
Half price then ;D ;D ;D