Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: hotel21 on 24 March 2009, 20:58:59
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UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2)
Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for 'cherrypickers' and 'cheesemongers'?
Contestant: Homosexuals.
Jeremy Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you
BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2)
Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is?
Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point.
Jamie Theakston: There's a clue in the title.
Contestant: Leicester
BBC NORFOLK
Stewart White: Who had a worldwide hit with What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: I don't know.
Stewart White: I'll give you some clues: what do you call the part between your hand and your elbow?
Contestant: Arm
Stewart White: Correct And if you're not weak, you're...?
Contestant: Strong.
Stewart White: Correct - and what was Lord Mountbatten's first name?
Contestant: Louis
Stewart White: Well, there we are then. So who had a worldwide hit with the song What A Wonderful World?
Contestant: Frank Sinatra?
LATE SHOW (BBC MIDLANDS )
Alex Trelinski: What is the capital of Italy ?
Contestant: France .
Trelinski: France is another country. Try again.
Contestant: Oh, um, Benidorm.
Trelinski: Wrong, sorry, let's try another question. In which country is the Parthenon?
Contestant: Sorry, I don't know.
Trelinski: Just guess a country then.
Contestant: Paris .
THE WEAKEST LINK (BBC2)
Anne Robinson: Oscar Wilde, Adolf Hitler and Jeffrey Archer have all written books about their experiences in what: - Prison, or the Conservative Party?
Contestant: The Conservative Party.
BEACON RADIO ( WOLVERHAMPTON )
DJ Mark: For 10, what is the nationality of the Pope?
Ruth from Rowley Regis: I think I know that one. Is it Jewish?
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoyne: What was Gandhi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey?
GWR FM ( Bristol )
Presenter: What happened in Dallas on November 22, 1963 ?
Contestant: I don't know, I wasn't watching it then.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC RADIO MANCHESTER)
Phil: What's 11 squared?
Contestant: I don't know.
Phil: I'll give you a clue. It's two ones with a two in the middle.
Contestant: Is it five?
RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard: Which American actor is married to Nicole Kidman?
Contestant: Forrest Gump.
RICHARD AND JUDY
Richard: On which street did Sherlock Holmes live?
Contestant: Er. .. ..
Richard: He makes bread . . ..
Contestant: Er . ....
Richard: He makes cakes . . ..
Contestant: Kipling Street ?
LINCS FM PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona .
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain .
NATIONAL LOTTERY (BBC1)
Question: What is the world's largest continent?
Contestant: The Pacific.
ROCK FM ( PRESTON )
Presenter: Name a film starring Bob Hoskins that is also the name of a famous painting by Leonardo da Vinci.
Contestant: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
THE BIGGEST GAME IN TOWN (ITV)
Steve Le Fevre: What was signed, to bring World War I to an end in 1918?
Contestant: Magna Carta?
JAMES O'BRIEN SHOW (LBC)
James O'Brien: How many kings of England have been called Henry?
Contestant: Er, well, I know there was a Henry the Eighth ... ER. ER ... Three?
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW (BBC RADIO BRISTOL )
Chris Searle: In which European country isMount Etna?
Caller: Japan .
Chris Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er ..... Mexico ?
PAUL WAPPAT (BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE )
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six-Day War between Egypt and Israellast?
Contestant (long pause): Fourteen days.
DARYL DENHAM'S DRIVETIME (VIRGIN RADIO)
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland ?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland ? Ireland ?
Daryl Denham: (helpfully) It's a bad line. Did you say Israel ?
Contestant: No.
PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR)
Phil Wood: What 'K' could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er. ... ..
Phil Wood: It's got two syllables . . .. Kor . .
Contestant: Blimey?
Phil Wood: Ha ha ha ha, no. The past participle of run . . ..
Contestant: (Silence)
Phil Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I . . .
Contestant: Walked?
THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.
LUNCHTIME SHOW (BRMB)
Presenter: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
Contestant: Jewish.
Presenter: That's close enough.
STEVE WRIGHT IN THE AFTERNOON (BBC RADIO 2)
Wright: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loin cloth did he play?
Contestant: Jesus
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Unbelievable :o :o :o, but quaintly very funny!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
But what do we expect in a country where the best selling national newspaper is the Sun, Big Brother is rated as a TV programme, and our education system is a mess!! ::) ::) ::) ::)
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The mind boggles.
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Take care.
They are out there.
Some closer than you think...... :o
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THE VAULT
Melanie Sykes: What is the name given to the condition where the sufferer can fall asleep at any time?
Contestant: Nostalgia.
Very true -- the sufferer being the one subjected to "What I did in the good old days" for the umpteenth time !!
Unfortunately I am often the perpetrater these days !!!! ::)
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sadly, I find myself firmly in holy counts camp here regarding nostalgia! :-[ As for the original post its very funny and very worrying at the same time, who says this country is dumbing down eh? ;D
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Our future........................Oh dear :-[ :(
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Goosey Goosey Ghandi ;D ;D
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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Hahahaha!!! just what i needed there, a bloody good laugh!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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lol :y ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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;D ;Drofl ;D ;D
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;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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:)Was actually a member of the 'Cherrypickers' AKA The Royal Hussars (PWO) so nope don't think they would be very impressed with being tarnished with being called Homosexuals................... well not all of them LOL!!!!!! ;)
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Unbelievable :o :o :o, but quaintly very funny!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
But what do we expect in a country where the best selling national newspaper is the Sun[/i], Big Brother is rated as a TV programme, and our education system is a mess!! ::) ::) ::) ::)
A newspaper for the intellectually bereft.....who can count as high as two.......if they can find page 3. ;D ;D ;D :D :D :y
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i remembered seeing a saturday shop girl chewing on a big brown pen, so i thought id amuse her by saying "you look like winston churchill sucking on that pen" to which she replied "are you callin' me a dog then"? i didnt have the time or energy to educate her that ones a famous briton and the other is a ficticious dog on a car insurance advert............................... ::) ::)
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A lot of these people are, of course, parents. When my missus has to call them in to tell them that little Tyson isn't doing too well at literacy/numeracy, it becomes immediately apparent why that is. ;D
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A lot of these people are, of course, parents. When my missus has to call them in to tell them that little Tyson isn't doing too well at literacy/numeracy, it becomes immediately apparent why that is. ;D
But the worry is, this is both true and, in many cases it is now 3rd generational... ::) ::) ::)
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You really dont know the half of it.
A letter my wife received from a parent went something like:
Dear Headteacher, can I please pick Jonny up from school at lunchtime today. I need to buy him new trainees. I get my money on Monday morning and if I dont buy them in the afternoon, I will have spent it by half three.
I kid you not. ;D
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You really dont know the half of it.
A letter my wife received from a parent went something like:
Dear Headteacher, can I please pick Jonny up from school at lunchtime today. I need to buy him new trainees. I get my money on Monday morning and if I dont buy them in the afternoon, I will have spent it by half three.
I kid you not. ;D
Oh I do, I really really do!! ;) ;)
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You really dont know the half of it.
A letter my wife received from a parent went something like:
Dear Headteacher, can I please pick Jonny up from school at lunchtime today. I need to buy him new trainees. I get my money on Monday morning and if I dont buy them in the afternoon, I will have spent it by half three.
I kid you not. ;D
Ah..................the great British underclass...............salt of the Earth. :y :y :y