Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: dbug on 04 April 2009, 23:19:02
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Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping :-?
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12.. December 18: Hid in a clothing! rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
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When i did have a Mrs i admit to to throwing random items into peoples trolleys. I've even stashed a Thomas tank flannel in my own trolley until the checkout then chosen my victim, a huge Arnie looking bodybuilder & furtively luzzed said flannel in his trolley when he was'nt looking, the cashier girl put it through & he was squirming telling her he did'nt want it or knew how it got there. She had to ring for a supervisor to remove the sale, this Huge bloke who could kill you with his eyelids was well embarrassed!!! Turned all the radios up etc.
Personal fave is to let a real eggy one rip in the ladies hygiene aisle where it always smells nice then exit stage left pronto, i still enjoy that now.
I may be getting old but i refuse to grow up!!!! :D
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;Dand then even more at guy's behaviour ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Think there may be one or two ideas worth trying ;D ;D ;D
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Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping :-?
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12.. December 18: Hid in a clothing! rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
Tescos here i come!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D :D :D :D :y :y :y
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When i did have a Mrs i admit to to throwing random items into peoples trolleys. I've even stashed a Thomas tank flannel in my own trolley until the checkout then chosen my victim, a huge Arnie looking bodybuilder & furtively luzzed said flannel in his trolley when he was'nt looking, the cashier girl put it through & he was squirming telling her he did'nt want it or knew how it got there. She had to ring for a supervisor to remove the sale, this Huge bloke who could kill you with his eyelids was well embarrassed!!! Turned all the radios up etc.
Personal fave is to let a real eggy one rip in the ladies hygiene aisle where it always smells nice then exit stage left pronto, i still enjoy that now.
I may be getting old but i refuse to grow up!!!! :D
:D
Always a good tactic to hurry along a boring shopping session, that one. :y
Kevin
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When i did have a Mrs i admit to to throwing random items into peoples trolleys. I've even stashed a Thomas tank flannel in my own trolley until the checkout then chosen my victim, a huge Arnie looking bodybuilder & furtively luzzed said flannel in his trolley when he was'nt looking, the cashier girl put it through & he was squirming telling her he did'nt want it or knew how it got there. She had to ring for a supervisor to remove the sale, this Huge bloke who could kill you with his eyelids was well embarrassed!!! Turned all the radios up etc.
Personal fave is to let a real eggy one rip in the ladies hygiene aisle where it always smells nice then exit stage left pronto, i still enjoy that now.
I may be getting old but i refuse to grow up!!!! :D
i did a real loud one in jessops once when working at lakeside, i had a go at my mate, everyone looked then i walked out and left him there
another was we was on the pi$$ in london he was hammered and i got him a chinese girls number for a date we was chatting to at the train station. he went out with her 2 days later, came to work the following day and had a right go, she was absolutely pig rotten, huge teeth the lot
;D ;D ;D ;D
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Wonderful!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
When I was in retail I never witnessed that kind of brilliant fun! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
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;D ;D ;D
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Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping :-?
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's trolleys when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to feminine products aisle.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what happened.
5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
6. September 15: Set up a tent in the outdoor clothing department and told shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring sausages and a Calor gas stove.
7. September 23: When the Deputy Manager asked if she could help him, he began to cry and asked, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'
8. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, picked his nose, and ate it.
9. November 10: While appearing to be choosing kitchen knives in the Housewares aisle asked an assistant if he knew where the antidepressants were.
10. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible' theme.
11. December 6: In the kitchenware aisle, practised the 'Madonna look' using different size funnels.
12.. December 18: Hid in a clothing! rack and when people browsed, yelled 'PICK ME!' 'PICK ME!'
13. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, assumed the foetal position and screamed 'NO! NO! It's those voices again.'
And; last, but not least:
14. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited a while; then yelled, very loudly, 'There is no toilet paper in here.'
Very funny..... ;D
Although i believe thats pinched from an american site. :y
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"Personal fave is to let a real eggy one rip in the ladies hygiene aisle where it always smells nice then exit stage left pronto, i still enjoy that now."
I wish I had that level of control. I normally tend to do this in HMV for some reason??
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Great :y :y :y :y
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"Personal fave is to let a real eggy one rip in the ladies hygiene aisle where it always smells nice then exit stage left pronto, i still enjoy that now."
I wish I had that level of control. I normally tend to do this in HMV for some reason??
because the music is sh+t????
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Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping :-?
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
The Banbury store is just 10 miles away from me, and knowing the kind of people who live in Banbury, that does not surprise me one bit! :y
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Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping :-?
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
The Banbury store is just 10 miles away from me, and knowing the kind of people who live in Banbury, that does not surprise me one bit! :y
Northants always been full of pikey dole sucking sorts... ;D
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I can remember a late night visit to our local Tesco, after a night out with the boys (SWMBO picked me up and announced she needed shopping ::) ::))
I needed a cheap suit for some reason, probably that I'd put weight on again :-X, so thought I'd get a Tesco one as I don't wear a suit very often.
I wanted to try on the trousers but was told the changing rooms were not available at night so... Started dropping my jeans to be told I couldn't do that there. Why not? I ask... It's OK, I did put clean underwear on today!
Strangely enough I was allowed to use the changing room ::) ::)
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When i did have a Mrs i admit to to throwing random items into peoples trolleys. I've even stashed a Thomas tank flannel in my own trolley until the checkout then chosen my victim, a huge Arnie looking bodybuilder & furtively luzzed said flannel in his trolley when he was'nt looking, the cashier girl put it through & he was squirming telling her he did'nt want it or knew how it got there. She had to ring for a supervisor to remove the sale, this Huge bloke who could kill you with his eyelids was well embarrassed!!! Turned all the radios up etc.
Personal fave is to let a real eggy one rip in the ladies hygiene aisle where it always smells nice then exit stage left pronto, i still enjoy that now.
I may be getting old but i refuse to grow up!!!! :D
;D ;D ;D ;D Made me laugh out loud, im gonna try that soon!!!!! ;D ;D
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Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping :-?
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
The Banbury store is just 10 miles away from me, and knowing the kind of people who live in Banbury, that does not surprise me one bit! :y
Northants always been full of pikey dole sucking sorts... ;D
?? Banbury ain't in Northants bud. Understand same can be said of Huntingdon ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Proof of what can happen if a wife or girlfriend drags her husband or boyfriend along shopping :-?
This letter was recently sent by Tesco's Head Office to a customer in Oxford :
Dear Mrs. Murray,
While we thank you for your valued custom and use of the Tesco Loyalty Card, the Manager of our store in Banbury is considering banning you and your family from shopping with us, unless your husband stops his antics.
Below is a list of offences over the past few months all verified by our surveillance cameras:
The Banbury store is just 10 miles away from me, and knowing the kind of people who live in Banbury, that does not surprise me one bit! :y
Northants always been full of pikey dole sucking sorts... ;D
?? Banbury ain't in Northants bud. Understand same can be said of Huntingdon ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I've got gigs in Spratton, Northampton & Banbury this year - That's another Pikey Traveller heading your way! :-*