Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: bob.dent on 22 April 2009, 16:10:49
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Apologies in advance to all the girls on here but these creased me up.....
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?
Marry It!
What is the difference between a battery and a woman?
A battery has a positive side.
What are the three fastest means of communication?
1) Television
2) Telephone
3) Telawoman
How are fat girls and mopeds alike?
They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.
What should you give a woman who has everything?
A man to show her how to work it.
Why is the space between a woman's breasts and her hips called a waist?
Because you could easily fit another pair of tits in there.
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?
Put a nipple on it.
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you
done wrong?
Made her chain too long
Why do men pass gas more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required
pressure.
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex drive by
90%..
It's called a Wedding Cake.
Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.
PMSL ;D ;D ;D
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Stand by for some flak from the fairer sex sex members of this forum ;) ;) ;) ;) your a braver man than I bob :D :D :D
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quote:
Women will never be equal to men..
until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are sexy.
thats me out then, im still slim and sexy with a fair amount of hair, not too bad for someone in there late 40's ::) ;D ;D ;D
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Stand by for some flak from the fairer sex sex members of this forum ;) ;) ;) ;) your a braver man than I bob :D :D :D
i reckon god was wearing beer goggles when he designed the woman ;D ;D ;D
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Re battery:- Most of my exes tried to take CHARGE. I've always done my own thing hence thier efforts fell FLAT!!!! ::) :D
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Few low-hit comparisons but few did get me laugh ::)
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There are three parts to the wedding ceremony which the bride focuses on.
1. They walk down the aisle.
2. They stand at the altar.
3. They sing a hymn.
And all through the ceremony she keeps thinking "Aisle - altar - hymn. Aisle - altar - hymn..."
(This one works better if you read it out loud!)
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There are three parts to the wedding ceremony which the bride focuses on.
1. They walk down the aisle.
2. They stand at the altar.
3. They sing a hymn.
And all through the ceremony she keeps thinking "Aisle - altar - hymn. Aisle - altar - hymn..."
(This one works better if you read it out loud!)
I used that one when i was best man for my brother ;D
Got a good laugh ;D
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Few low-hit comparisons but few did get me laugh ::)
Sorrrry :-[ ...........just couldn't resist it. ::) :D