Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: over50now on 03 May 2009, 21:29:31
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Replaced alternator today.
Haynes give it a 3 spanner. Remove under cover off - no problem. Take trumpets out - ok, no problem
Undo and remove the nuts which hold cables on alternator terminals. - problem - Haynes doesn't say there was no assess to these.
Slacken and remove upper and lower alternator bolts - problem, Haynes doesn't tell you how the hell you get to to the top nut.
So to get at it, I took the aux belt tensioner off. Hey presto, can now get to the 16mm bolt.
Alternator can now be removed and the terminal nuts assesable.
Why is it this manual only tells half a story :-? :-?
Now all back together. Happy days :y
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It's not called the Haynes BOL (book of lies) for nothing ;) :y
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::) Using my Haynes always makes me feel like a 'singleton'....."you`re on your own" ;D
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better than nothing, but still many things missing inside..
why not cover everything in detail and sell for more instead of people "remembering" you everytime ;D
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The REAL meaning of the Haynes instructions
Haynes: Rotate anticlockwise.
Translation: Clamp with molegrips then beat repeatedly with hammer anticlockwise. You do know which way is anticlockwise, don't you?
Haynes: Should remove easily.
Translation: Will be corroded into place ... clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes: This is a snug fit.
Translation: You will skin your knuckles! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: This is a tight fit.
Translation: Not a hope in hell matey! ... Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: As described in Chapter 7...
Translation: That'll teach you not to read through before you start, now you are looking at scary photos of the inside of a gearbox.
Haynes: Pry...
Translation: Hammer a screwdriver into...
Haynes: Undo...
Translation: Go buy a tin of WD40 (industrial size).
Haynes: Ease ...
Translation: Apply superhuman strength to ...
Haynes: Retain tiny spring...
Translation: "Crikey what was that, it nearly had my eye out"!
Haynes: Press and rotate to remove bulb...
Translation: OK - that's the glass bit off, now fetch some good pliers to dig out the bayonet part and remaining glass shards.
Haynes: Lightly...
Translation: Start off lightly and build up till the veins on your forehead are throbbing then re-check the manual because what you are doing now cannot be considered "lightly".
Haynes: Weekly checks...
Translation: If it isn't broken don't fix it!
Haynes: Routine maintenance...
Translation: If it isn't broken... it's about to be!
Haynes: One spanner rating (simple).
Translation: Your Mum could do this... so how did you manage to botch it up?
Haynes: Two spanner rating.
Translation: Now you may think that you can do this because two is a low, tiny, ikkle number... but you also thought that the wiring diagram was a map of the Tokyo underground (in fact that would have been more use to you).
Haynes: Three spanner rating (intermediate).
Translation: Make sure you won't need your car for a couple of days and that your AA cover includes Home Start.
Haynes: Four spanner rating.
Translation: You are seriously considering this aren't you, you pleb!
Haynes: Five spanner rating (expert).
Translation: OK - but don't expect us to ride it afterwards!!!
Translation #2: Don't ever carry your loved ones in it again and don't mention it to your insurance company.
Haynes: If not, you can fabricate your own special tool like this...
Translation: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
Haynes: Compress...
Translation: Squeeze with all your might, jump up and down on, swear at, throw at the garage wall, then search for it in the dark corner of the garage whilst muttering "******" repeatedly under your breath.
Haynes: Inspect...
Translation: Squint at really hard and pretend you know what you are looking at, then declare in a loud knowing voice to your wife "Yep, as I thought, it's going to need a new one"!
Haynes: Carefully...
Translation: You are about to cut yourself!
Haynes: Retaining nut...
Translation: Yes, that's it, that big spherical blob of rust.
Haynes: Get an assistant...
Translation: Prepare to humiliate yourself in front of someone you know.
Haynes: Refitting is the reverse sequence to removal.
Translation: But you swear in different places.
Haynes: Prise away plastic locating pegs...
Translation: Snap off...
Haynes: Using a suitable drift or pin-punch...
Translation: The biggest nail in your tool box isn't a suitable drift!
Haynes: Everyday toolkit
Translation: Ensure you have an RAC Card & Mobile Phone
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Placing your mouth near it and huffing isn't moderate heat.
Translation #2: Heat up until glowing red, if it still doesn't come undone use a hacksaw.
Haynes: Apply moderate heat...
Translation: Unless you have a blast furnace, don't bother. Clamp with adjustable spanner then beat repeatedly with hammer.
Haynes: Index
Translation: List of all the things in the book bar the thing you want to do!
Haynes: Remove oil filter using an oil filter chain spanner or length of bicycle chain.
Translation: Stick a screwdriver through it and beat handle repeatedly with a hammer.
Haynes: Replace old gasket with a new one.
Translation: I know I've got a tube of Krazy Glue around here somewhere.
Haynes: Grease well before refitting.
Translation: Spend an hour searching for your tub of grease before chancing upon a bottle of washing-up liquid. Wipe some congealed washing up liquid from the dispenser nozzle and use that since it's got a similar texture and will probably get you to Halfords to buy some Castrol grease.
Haynes: See illustration for details
Translation: None of the illustrations notes will match the pictured exploded, numbered parts. The unit illustrated is from a previous or variant model.
The Haynes guide to tools of the trade
1. DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your beer across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you were drying.
2. WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say, "...sugar!!!"
3. ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning pop rivets in their holes until you die of old age.
4. PLIERS: Used to round off hexagonal bolt heads.
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D..no more ,my guts are hurting. ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Very good.
I had a Haynes manual for my mk 1 Cavalier. Excellent.
I had a Haynes manual for my mk 2 Cavalier. Worthwhile purchase.
I had a Haynes manual for my mk2 Astra. Bit hazy on some details.
I've got a Haynes manual for my Omega B. Might as well use the sales brochure!
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Knock it if you wan't, but I used one to help me replace my stepsons drive belt on his scooter. New thing to me, I would have broken it without the advice from Haynes..... :)
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Haynes Manuals well where do i start!
the omega one is terrible the wiring diagrams bear no relation to anything! they are all based on a prefacelift! some are mini facelift but are still wrong!
today really upset me when i come to read about exhaust removal no great deal was mentioned about the V6 having threaded cat flanges infact it said carefully undo the bolts (that are rusted on anmnd will never ever come undone)
so i gave up with haynes and am off to Hi-Q tomorrow :y
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STMO123
Absolutely brilliant. Had to dash to the loo half way through 'cos I was p%%sing myself. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Didn't expect such a comprehensive review ::) ::)
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very, very funny.
;D ;D :y
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The BOB (book of 'dangle berries') is worthwhile imho. Wiring diags cover most stuff, except very late options (ccrt, carin). Remember, its all based on Vx's own workshop manuals, just with extra clarity in most cases.
but, yes, it does have errors, missed steps, and unnecessary steps....
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::) Using my Haynes always makes me feel like a singleton....."you`re on your own" ;D
Valerie?? ;D
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I chucked my haynes manual in the bin sunday it covers the 3 series more than the 5 series.....I`m currently looking on e-gay for a tis manual so i can find the elusive pollen filter location!!! ;D ;D :D
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Blue Peter - Here's one we made earlier ring any bells ?!.
The only reason they probably did that, is otherwise it'd be Hour long of the presenter fighting with the the sticky-back plastic, milk bottle tops, and everything else gluing itself to their jumper !. ;D ;D
Yep, as everyone says, all is not quite what it seams in the Haynes manual, why this forum is damn useful. :y
And just one last thing, the Haynes manuals, notice how they use all Brand New products, fresh off the line !!. No oil to get covered in, no knuckles getting scrapped due to that ...... stubborn nut / bolt not loosening its grip !!. >:(
Nuff said ;)
M
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::) Using my Haynes always makes me feel like a singleton....."you`re on your own" ;D
Valerie?? ;D
Better she; than Peter Pervert ;D
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Haynes are very good as long as you use them as a guide, and as Jamie says, worth getting.
If you think their wiring diags fro the Omega are bad, you should see the diags for the Astra G - they're more like those for a 72 Cortina ie trying to show a schematic layout ..... but failing.