Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Richie London on 13 June 2009, 08:34:15

Title: feeling down, have a laugh
Post by: Richie London on 13 June 2009, 08:34:15

New Miley Cyrus DVD: £15

Tub of Vaseline: £3

XL Box of Tissues: £2

The look of disgust on the cashiers face as you pay: Priceless

Title: Re: feeling down, have a laugh
Post by: Richie London on 13 June 2009, 08:34:50

As I sat in the living room my 5 year old shouted at me from the back door.

' I can't hear you if you're shouting from outside,' I said.

Again, he shouted back.

'I told you, I can't hear you from there. It's rude to shout. If you want me to hear you, walk into the living room' I replied.

A few moments later my son appeared in the living room.

'Dad, I've got dog shit all over my shoes.'

Title: Re: feeling down, have a laugh
Post by: Richie London on 13 June 2009, 08:35:21

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her oppsing appendix out!"

Title: Re: feeling down, have a laugh
Post by: Richie London on 13 June 2009, 08:44:07

Muslim terrorists are now thinking twice about blowing themselves up for the promise of virgins in Paradise....

Apparently they got a look at Susan Boyle and were horrified to see what a virgin actually looks like.   

Title: Re: feeling down, have a laugh
Post by: Richie London on 13 June 2009, 08:52:18

Little Johnny came home from school with a big smile on his face.

His Mother noticed this, and asked him, "Why the big grin, Johnny?"

"I showed Sally Brown my weenie today at the playground!" proudly replied Johnny.

Before his mother could say a word, Johnny went on to say, "She said it reminded her of a peanut."

His Mom asked, "Really? She thought it was small, did she?"

"No..... salty

Title: Re: feeling down, have a laugh
Post by: Banjax on 13 June 2009, 09:56:18

 ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: feeling down, have a laugh
Post by: Del Boy on 13 June 2009, 14:03:28

 ;D

Title: Re: feeling down, have a laugh
Post by: sidewaysmv6 on 13 June 2009, 14:24:19

classics!! ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: feeling down, have a laugh
Post by: amigov6 on 13 June 2009, 15:04:22

A lady primary school teacher wanted her pupils to use the word "fascinate" in a sentence. Sally put's her hand up & says "At the weekend we went my uncle Johns farm & i was fascinated by the cows" The teacher replies "Thats very good Sally but i asked for the word fascinate". Molly raises her hand & says "Lastnight my Daddy took me stargazing & it was fascinating" Again the teacher kindly explains she wanted the use of the word "fascinate" Suddenly little Jimmy raises his hand. Being caught out by Jimmy before she tentatively let's him speak.
   Little Jimmy replies "my sister Julies got a cardigan with ten buttons but her norks are so big she can only fasten 8 of them"! ::)

  Too hot for a coat.......

Title: Re: feeling down, have a laugh
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 13 June 2009, 15:46:08

Every one a winner!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y