Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: dbug on 26 July 2009, 16:15:38
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Little Johnny's at it again..... A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
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Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mummy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'
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The maths teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said,
'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'
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Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.'Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ?'
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Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses,I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the Mail guy wants to buy Mum .'
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;D ;D ;D
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;D ;D ;D
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The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she
asked the question, "When you die and go to heaven...which part of your body
goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front
of you and god just takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs."
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Little Johnny,
why do you think it would be your legs?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into mummy and daddy's bedroom the other
night. Mummy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh God
I'm coming!" If dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
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The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning and she
asked the question, "When you die and go to heaven...which part of your body
goes first?"
Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands."
"Why do you think it's your hands, Suzy?"
Suzy replied, "Because when you pray, you hold your hands together in front
of you and god just takes your hands first."
"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think it's your legs."
The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face. "Little Johnny,
why do you think it would be your legs?"
Little Johnny said, "Well, I walked into mummy and daddy's bedroom the other
night. Mummy had her legs straight up in the air and she was saying, "Oh God
I'm coming!" If dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her."
;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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Nice ones you two :y ;D ;D ;D
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very good ;D ;D ;D :y
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rofl ;D ;D ;D ;D
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;D ;D ;D :y