Kris, I feel for you in your pain and your loss. However, the advice given above is all good stuff (especially Nick's, who said what I was going to).
Thing is, and I don't really know how to put this, so forgive me if I am somewhat clumsy ..... You weren't "on the spot" when your mum passed, which I feel makes you feel quilty about not being able to say goodbye properly.
It is never too late to say your goodbyes, indeed, it isn't really "goodbye". Your mum is still with you, in your heart, mind and memories. And, I believe, still with you in spirit.
I often still talk to my mum, who passed several years ago, and know from experience what she would tell me and that, above all else, she would want me to be happy --- as I am sure your mum wants for you. I know she is looking over me ( though sometimes I hope she is closing her eyes!!).
I have posted this poem a couple of times and please forgive me for doing so again:
Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul's Cathedral
Kris, I feel for you in your pain and your loss. However, the advice given above is all good stuff (especially Nick's, who said what I was going to).
Thing is, and I don't really know how to put this, so forgive me if I am somewhat clumsy ..... You weren't "on the spot" when your mum passed, which I feel makes you feel quilty about not being able to say goodbye properly.
It is never too late to say your goodbyes, indeed, it isn't really "goodbye". Your mum is still with you, in your heart, mind and memories. And, I believe, still with you in spirit.
I often still talk to my mum, who passed several years ago, and know from experience what she would tell me and that, above all else, she would want me to be happy --- as I am sure your mum wants for you. I know she is looking over me ( though sometimes I hope she is closing her eyes!!).
I have posted this poem a couple of times and please forgive me for doing so again:
Death is nothing at all
I have only slipped away into the next room
I am I and you are you
Whatever we were to each other
That we are still
Call me by my old familiar name
Speak to me in the easy way you always used
Put no difference into your tone
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow
Laugh as we always laughed
At the little jokes we always enjoyed together
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was
Let it be spoken without effort
Without the ghost of a shadow in it
Life means all that it ever meant
It is the same as it ever was
There is absolute unbroken continuity
What is death but a negligible accident?
Why should I be out of mind
Because I am out of sight?
I am waiting for you for an interval
Somewhere very near
Just around the corner
All is well.
Nothing is past; nothing is lost
One brief moment and all will be as it was before
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!
Canon Henry Scott-Holland, 1847-1918, Canon of St Paul's Cathedral
Well posted K :y :y :y