Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: LJay on 15 September 2009, 18:56:17
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All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy,
painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now....the
wax. Read on..........
My night began as any other normal weeknight.. Come home, fix dinner, play
with the kids. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind
for the next few hours:
'Maybe I should pull the waxing kit out of the medicine cabinet.' So I
headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom..
It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you
just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them
apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair
right off.
No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be? I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am
mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!)
So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other
stuck together. Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I
get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees.
('Cold wax,' yeah...right!) I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin
around it tight and pull. It works!
OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this!
Hair removal no longer eludes me! I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward
body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire.
With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the kids, I sneak
back into the bathroom, for the ultimate hair fighting championship. I
drop my panties and place one foot on the toilet. Using the same
procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line,
covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of
my butt cheek (it *was* a long strip) I inhale deeply and brace
myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!
I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!
Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the
strip. CRAP! Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and
spotted. I think I may pass out...must stay conscious...must stay
conscious.
Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe...OK, back to normal.
I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me
so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the
glory that is my triumph over body hair. I hold up the strip. There's no
hair on it.. Where is the hair??? WHERE IS THE WAX???
Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the =
hair. The hair that should be on the strip...it's not! I touch. I am
touching wax.
I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now
covered in cold wax and matted hair. Then I make the next BIG
mistake.....remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? I know I
need to do something. So I put my foot down.
Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut... Sealed shut!
I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and
think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop. My head may pop
off!' What can I do to melt the wax?
Hot water !! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand
into the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should
melt and I can gently wipe it off, right??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*
I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture
prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.
Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together,
is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub...in
scalding hot water. Which, by the way, doesn't melt cold wax.
So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself
to the porcelain!! God bless the man who had convinced me a few months ago
to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!
I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret
of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter 'So, my
butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!'
There is a slight pause.. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal
but she does try to hide her laughter from me. She wants to know exactly
where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hole or hoo-ha?'
She's laughing out loud by now...I can hear her. I give her the rundown
and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.
YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.
While we go through various solutions. I resort to trying to scrape the
wax off with a razor Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies
covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and
then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!
By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm
pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counselling for this
event.
My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving
grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax. What do I
really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!!!!!!
The scream probably woke the kids and scared the dickens out of my friend.
It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!! It works !!'
I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up. I
successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief
and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE........ALL OF IT!
So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts. I
could have amputated my own leg at this point.
Next week I'm going to try hair colour...
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
What an image ;D ;D
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thank god you got it all off ljay, must of been pretty painful for you. :o
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your mad you know that dont you ,i still lmao though, ;D ;D
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Good Lord Above .... I think I have wet myself ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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For a back sack and crack.......maybe start with the back first next time.......
lol
:y
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;D ;D ;D
a similiar event happens also here from time to time ;D :y
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Way too much hard work.
The old lady uses the blue Veet (made for genitals) for getting rid of the hair around her snatch....much easier and much less painful.
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OUCH :-[ !!!! Thank God I'm male ! :y
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OUCH :-[ !!!! Thank God I'm male ! :y
Should still be neatly waxed/trimmed though!!! ;) ;D ;D ;D
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OUCH :-[ !!!! Thank God I'm male ! :y
Should still be neatly waxed/trimmed though!!! ;) ;D ;D ;D
What's with the half job?
Go for full on and you get a much better sense of penetration when your hitting the cervix on the instroke.
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D so funny, I know just what you went through :o but I put them on the radiator to heat them up that way you can have lots ready as you need them :y
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D so funny, I know just what you went through :o but I put them on the radiator to heat them up that way you can have lots ready as you need them :y
Nice plan :y Don't have any radiators though!!!! :D
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OUCH :-[ !!!! Thank God I'm male ! :y
Yep -- just a quick wave over with a blow torch for the guys ! :o
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Sorry - but thats really funny - or at least i thought so :o :o :-? :-? :-? :-? ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;)
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I have found that a good quality depilatory cream works best - especially in those hard to reach 'personal' places ::) ::) Mmmm sooo smooth :-* :-* ;D :y
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OUCH :-[ !!!! Thank God I'm male ! :y
Should still be neatly waxed/trimmed though!!! ;) ;D ;D ;D
Missus shaved all mine off last week,and its itching like mad now. :D ;D
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OUCH :-[ !!!! Thank God I'm male ! :y
Should still be neatly waxed/trimmed though!!! ;) ;D ;D ;D
Missus shaved all mine off last week,and its itching like mad now. :D ;D
Shave it back off then, problem solved!!! ;D ;D ;D
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I have found that a good quality depilatory cream works best - especially in those hard to reach 'personal' places ::) ::) Mmmm sooo smooth :-* :-* ;D :y
So thats what you're doing when you go quiet!!!!!!! ;) ;D ;D ;D
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;D ;D I wish - have been sick on and off for about 6 weeks with a UTI that I can't get lifted - due to the old IOD.
Thought I had it under control but was hit again on Monday - knocked me on my ass for two days but the latest round of drugs seems to be starting to work - touch wood.
In better times however there's no nicer way to spend an hour or two than gettin' all smoothed up - if you know what I mean ;D ;D ;D :o :y
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;D ;D I wish - have been sick on and off for about 6 weeks with a UTI that I can't get lifted - due to the old IOD.
Thought I had it under control but was hit again on Monday - knocked me on my ass for two days but the latest round of drugs seems to be starting to work - touch wood.
In better times however there's no nicer way to spend an hour or two than gettin' all smoothed up - if you know what I mean ;D ;D ;D :o :y
Oh no poor you! UTIs are awful, hope this lot of meds sees it off for you! Feet up and lots of cranberry juice for you me thinks! :y
Get well soon! :-*
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;D ;D I wish - have been sick on and off for about 6 weeks with a UTI that I can't get lifted - due to the old IOD.
Thought I had it under control but was hit again on Monday - knocked me on my ass for two days but the latest round of drugs seems to be starting to work - touch wood.
In better times however there's no nicer way to spend an hour or two than gettin' all smoothed up - if you know what I mean ;D ;D ;D :o :y
Oh no poor you! UTIs are awful, hope this lot of meds sees it off for you! Feet up and lots of cranberry juice for you me thinks! :y
Get well soon! :-*
Thank you Maam :y :y
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My wife is always threatening to remove all the hair off my back, I have the worlds hairiest back ;D
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OUCH :-[ !!!! Thank God I'm male ! :y
Should still be neatly waxed/trimmed though!!! ;) ;D ;D ;D
What's with the half job?
Go for full on and you get a much better sense of penetration when your hitting the cervix on the instroke.
;D ;D ;D PMSL!!
You can always rely on KW to tell it how it is!!
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
What an image ;D ;D
:o :o :o You mean you weren't watching James? ::)
[smiley=evil.gif] ;D
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LJAY, that was the funniest thing i have read in ages, thank you so much for that, i have a mental image that wil last for some time.
Your freind was prob folded up in laughter just as i was, and will be something to giggle over for some time yet.
I had tears in my eyes reading that.
You should automatically be made an admin for that. :y
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LJAY, that was the funniest thing i have read in ages, thank you so much for that, i have a mental image that wil last for some time.
Your freind was prob folded up in laughter just as i was, and will be something to giggle over for some time yet.
I had tears in my eyes reading that.
You should automatically be made an admin for that. :y
I entirely agree!! :y :y :y Funniest thing I have read for years! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y :y :y :y
I reckon she should be made a hairmin!! :D :D :D ;) ;)
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LJAY, that was the funniest thing i have read in ages, thank you so much for that, i have a mental image that wil last for some time.
Your freind was prob folded up in laughter just as i was, and will be something to giggle over for some time yet.
I had tears in my eyes reading that.
You should automatically be made an admin for that. :y
I entirely agree!! :y :y :y Funniest thing I have read for years! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y :y :y :y
I reckon she should be made a hairmin!! :D :D :D ;) ;)
Something amiss with your keyboard Lizzie ?? There seems to be a couple of letters missing !! ::)
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LJAY, that was the funniest thing i have read in ages, thank you so much for that, i have a mental image that wil last for some time.
Your freind was prob folded up in laughter just as i was, and will be something to giggle over for some time yet.
I had tears in my eyes reading that.
You should automatically be made an admin for that. :y
I entirely agree!! :y :y :y Funniest thing I have read for years! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y :y :y :y
I reckon she should be made a hairmin!! :D :D :D ;) ;)
Something amiss with your keyboard Lizzie ?? There seems to be a couple of letters missing !! ::)
...ge e I wonder what you could mean HC ::) ::) ;D
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LJAY, that was the funniest thing i have read in ages, thank you so much for that, i have a mental image that wil last for some time.
Your freind was prob folded up in laughter just as i was, and will be something to giggle over for some time yet.
I had tears in my eyes reading that.
You should automatically be made an admin for that. :y
You had tears in YOUR eyes!!!! ::) ::) ::)
thanks but certainly not admin material! (however you're spelling it) ;D ;D ;D
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First chance I've really had to get on here for a while and I nearly sprayed the Lappy!...
Absolutely hilarious ;D ;D ;D
Glad to hear it's all sorted now though ::) ::) ;D ;D
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First chance I've really had to get on here for a while and I nearly sprayed the Lappy!...
Absolutely hilarious ;D ;D ;D
Glad to hear it's all sorted now though ::) ::) ;D ;D
Definitely.. And congratulations Ljay , I rarely see woman that have this much self trust :y :y
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LJAY, that was the funniest thing i have read in ages, thank you so much for that, i have a mental image that wil last for some time.
Your freind was prob folded up in laughter just as i was, and will be something to giggle over for some time yet.
I had tears in my eyes reading that.
You should automatically be made an admin for that. :y
You had tears in YOUR eyes!!!! ::) ::) ::)
thanks but certainly not admin material! (however you're spelling it) ;D ;D ;D
.....shaving, on the other hand, could be much more fun.....
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ThT3PkYTsY&feature=related[/media]
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LJAY, that was the funniest thing i have read in ages, thank you so much for that, i have a mental image that wil last for some time.
Your freind was prob folded up in laughter just as i was, and will be something to giggle over for some time yet.
I had tears in my eyes reading that.
You should automatically be made an admin for that. :y
You had tears in YOUR eyes!!!! ::) ::) ::)
thanks but certainly not admin material! (however you're spelling it) ;D ;D ;D
.....shaving, on the other hand, could be much more fun.....
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ThT3PkYTsY&feature=related[/media]
;D So it would appear!!! Can't say I've ever been in that position with any of my friends!!!! ;D ;D ;D
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LJAY, that was the funniest thing i have read in ages, thank you so much for that, i have a mental image that wil last for some time.
Your freind was prob folded up in laughter just as i was, and will be something to giggle over for some time yet.
I had tears in my eyes reading that.
You should automatically be made an admin for that. :y
You had tears in YOUR eyes!!!! ::) ::) ::)
thanks but certainly not admin material! (however you're spelling it) ;D ;D ;D
.....shaving, on the other hand, could be much more fun.....
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ThT3PkYTsY&feature=related[/media]
Ahh, so that's what those "wet room" bathrooms are for. :-X
Kevin
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LJAY, that was the funniest thing i have read in ages, thank you so much for that, i have a mental image that wil last for some time.
Your freind was prob folded up in laughter just as i was, and will be something to giggle over for some time yet.
I had tears in my eyes reading that.
You should automatically be made an admin for that. :y
You had tears in YOUR eyes!!!! ::) ::) ::)
thanks but certainly not admin material! (however you're spelling it) ;D ;D ;D
.....shaving, on the other hand, could be much more fun.....
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ThT3PkYTsY&feature=related[/media]
Ahh, so that's what those "wet room" bathrooms are for. :-X
Kevin
What else would you do in one? :-? Bathe??? ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Think my missus uses the Black & Decker strimmer, struggles a bit so might get her a petrol one... ;D
(she doesn't read the forum...)
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;D So it would appear!!! Can't say I've ever been in that position with any of my friends!!!! ;D ;D ;D
....another negative point for the wax method - no?
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Think my missus uses the Black & Decker strimmer, struggles a bit so might get her a petrol one... ;D
(she doesn't read the forum...)
...you hope SS ;D ;D
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;D So it would appear!!! Can't say I've ever been in that position with any of my friends!!!! ;D ;D ;D
....another negative point for the wax method - no?
Pain being the biggest deterrant of all!!!! :o
Suppose I shall have to organise a shave foam party then!!! ;D ;D ;D
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ouch Ljay, just read it, sat with my legs crossed and could imagine the pain you were in..
Long time ago i gave waxing a go and found myself with my skin stuck together behing the knee (calf to thigh) as the warm wax had gone cold quickly ;D
no more strips for me haha
Ljay- tried the home laser yet? you need a lot of patience though..
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I hope you have recovered, but I have to say that is the funniest thing I have heard for ages ;D ;D ;D
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ouch Ljay, just read it, sat with my legs crossed and could imagine the pain you were in..
Long time ago i gave waxing a go and found myself with my skin stuck together behing the knee (calf to thigh) as the warm wax had gone cold quickly ;D
no more strips for me haha
Ljay- tried the home laser yet? you need a lot of patience though..
And a lot more money!!!!! :(
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I think that the most dreadful thing for Ljay in the forum is not the dreaded headgasket but waxing now ;D
But trust me scissors can be a bigger problem than wax if not paying attention especially if trimming under the "engine" :D
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;D So it would appear!!! Can't say I've ever been in that position with any of my friends!!!! ;D ;D ;D
....another negative point for the wax method - no?
Pain being the biggest deterrant of all!!!! :o
Suppose I shall have to organise a shave foam party then!!! ;D ;D ;D
<Close eye being kept on the "Meetings, gatherings, parties etc" section.> :y
Kevin
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;D So it would appear!!! Can't say I've ever been in that position with any of my friends!!!! ;D ;D ;D
....another negative point for the wax method - no?
Pain being the biggest deterrant of all!!!! :o
Suppose I shall have to organise a shave foam party then!!! ;D ;D ;D
Just remember to clean up TB's tent afterwards and he won't mind. ;D
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;D So it would appear!!! Can't say I've ever been in that position with any of my friends!!!! ;D ;D ;D
....another negative point for the wax method - no?
Pain being the biggest deterrant of all!!!! :o
Suppose I shall have to organise a shave foam party then!!! ;D ;D ;D
<Close eye being kept on the "Meetings, gatherings, parties etc" section.> :y
Kevin
Shall ask TB for the loan of his tent!!! ::) ;D
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;D So it would appear!!! Can't say I've ever been in that position with any of my friends!!!! ;D ;D ;D
....another negative point for the wax method - no?
Pain being the biggest deterrant of all!!!! :o
Suppose I shall have to organise a shave foam party then!!! ;D ;D ;D
<Close eye being kept on the "Meetings, gatherings, parties etc" section.> :y
Kevin
Shall ask TB for the loan of his tent!!! ::) ;D
......please don't forget about having the event recorded - for technical purposes of course - I'm quite handy with a camera, if I say so myself ::) ::) :P :P :P ;D ;D :y
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;D So it would appear!!! Can't say I've ever been in that position with any of my friends!!!! ;D ;D ;D
....another negative point for the wax method - no?
Pain being the biggest deterrant of all!!!! :o
Suppose I shall have to organise a shave foam party then!!! ;D ;D ;D
<Close eye being kept on the "Meetings, gatherings, parties etc" section.> :y
Kevin
Shall ask TB for the loan of his tent!!! ::) ;D
......please don't forget about having the event recorded - for technical purposes of course - I'm quite handy with a camera, if I say so myself ::) ::) :P :P :P ;D ;D :y
Didn't think you'd be interested Zulu, majority of my friends are considerably above a 34B!!!! ::) ::) ;) Kind of you to offer though!!! ;D ;D ;D
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;D So it would appear!!! Can't say I've ever been in that position with any of my friends!!!! ;D ;D ;D
....another negative point for the wax method - no?
Pain being the biggest deterrant of all!!!! :o
Suppose I shall have to organise a shave foam party then!!! ;D ;D ;D
<Close eye being kept on the "Meetings, gatherings, parties etc" section.> :y
Kevin
Shall ask TB for the loan of his tent!!! ::) ;D
......please don't forget about having the event recorded - for technical purposes of course - I'm quite handy with a camera, if I say so myself ::) ::) :P :P :P ;D ;D :y
Didn't think you'd be interested Zulu, majority of my friends are considerably above a 34B!!!! ::) ::) ;) Kind of you to offer though!!! ;D ;D ;D
.....even that's a bit big for me Lj - let's see how can I get round this? Oh, oh - have you anything in a petit bum by any chance, bums are my favourite ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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;D So it would appear!!! Can't say I've ever been in that position with any of my friends!!!! ;D ;D ;D
....another negative point for the wax method - no?
Pain being the biggest deterrant of all!!!! :o
Suppose I shall have to organise a shave foam party then!!! ;D ;D ;D
<Close eye being kept on the "Meetings, gatherings, parties etc" section.> :y
Kevin
Shall ask TB for the loan of his tent!!! ::) ;D
......please don't forget about having the event recorded - for technical purposes of course - I'm quite handy with a camera, if I say so myself ::) ::) :P :P :P ;D ;D :y
Didn't think you'd be interested Zulu, majority of my friends are considerably above a 34B!!!! ::) ::) ;) Kind of you to offer though!!! ;D ;D ;D
.....even that's a bit big for me Lj - let's see how can I get round this? Oh, oh - have you anything in a petit bum by any chance, bums are my favourite ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
Thats something I definately don't own!!! ;D Shall see what others have to offer though!!!! ;) ;) ;)