Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Marks DTM Calib on 26 November 2009, 09:19:46

Title: Idiots at large
Post by: Marks DTM Calib on 26 November 2009, 09:19:46
IDIOT SIGHTING No.1

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I
gave the clerk a £5 note. Our total was £4.20, so I also handed her a
Twenty pence piece

She said, 'you gave me too much money.'

I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me £1 back.'
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my
request. I did so, and he handed me back the 20 pence and said 'We're
sorry but they could not do that kind of thing.'

The clerk then proceeded to give me back 80 pence in change..

Do not confuse the clerks at MacD's.

Happened St Albans, Hertfordshire UK

IDIOT SIGHTING No.2

We had to have the garage door repaired. The GARADOR repairman told us
that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough
motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the
largest one GARADOR made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said,# 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.'

I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4 and he said,

'NOOO, it's not. Four is larger than two..'

We haven't used Garador repair since. Happened in Moor Park ,Nr Watford UK

IDIOT SIGHTING No.3

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the
Highways Department to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on
our road.

The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think
this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

Story from Potters Bar , Herts, UK


IDIOT SIGHTING No.4

My daughter went to a local Kentucky Fried and ordered a taco. She
asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.

From South Oxhey Herts , UK ...


IDIOT SIGHTING No.5

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an Irish airport
employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your
knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how
would I know?'

He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened Luton Airport ... UK


IDIOT SIGHTING No.6

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged co-worker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.

Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing
driving?!'

She is a Local County Council employee in Harrow , Middlesex , UK


IDIOT SIGHTING No.7

When my husband and I arrived at Our Local Ford dealer to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the
service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the
drivers side door.

As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door
handle and discovered that it was unlocked.

'Hey,' I announced to the Fitter/Mechanic, 'its open!'

His reply, 'I know. I already did that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in St Albans, Hertfordshire UK
.

STAY ALERT!
They walk among us... And the scary part is that is they have the RIGHT TO VOTE and REPRODUCE!

Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: The Red Baron on 26 November 2009, 09:25:55
it does make one wonder doesnt it mark :o
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: waspy on 26 November 2009, 09:29:51
 ;D ;D ;D ;D Oh dear :o
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Jimbob on 26 November 2009, 09:36:50
 ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Nickbat on 26 November 2009, 09:44:14
Brilliant find!  :y :y :y :y :y
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Kevin Wood on 26 November 2009, 09:49:43
 ;D Very good.

I should add to the list the repair technician from Gateway who came to work years ago to fix my intermittently-booting PC.

Removed the lid from the case. Machine started working. Refitted lid. Machine still working. Verdict? Lid incorrectly fitted, since the PC started working without it. ;D

I regard him as doubly stupid. Firstly for not having the sense to do his (non rocket science) job in the first place, Secondly for trying on such ridiculous bull5h1t in a lab full of development engineers and, presumably, expecting not to be lampooned. :D

The second bit didn't turn out how he planned, much to his embarrassment. ;D

Kevin
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Marks DTM Calib on 26 November 2009, 10:20:09
Another one to add.

Got asked by a neighbour to re-light the pilot light on her boiler for her at the weekend.

Now, this is a fairly modern boiler and hence has auto ignition but, she has a British Gas service contract and had the system serviced 1 week earlier.

The technician who had done the work was there for 30 minutes (to service a boiler and heating systm properly!)

I arrived, he had messed with the water cylinder stat and set it to 30 degrees and hence the boiler was not heating the water fully.

And the best bit, she asked him if he could sort the noise from the boiler.

He told her it was not the boiler, it was because the pipes in the ceiling joists were drying out the timbers which had got wet during the summer when the heating was not on!....what planet is this bull shitter on!

Needless to say, the boiler has a VERY noisey fan (easily proved without entering the gas part of the boiler).

I sudgested she called them to get it fixed and serviced correctly given she pays a stupid amount of cash to them every month.
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Debs. on 26 November 2009, 10:35:02
Idiocy, is now so widespread (such that, at times it seems; de rigueur).......One wonders if intelligent, rational thought is still extant, or even noticed? ::)
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Entwood on 26 November 2009, 10:50:50
If only it wasn't true .... :(

http://infohost.nmt.edu/~armiller/commonsen.htm

(There are numerous obituraries ...

http://www.google.co.uk/#hl=en&source=hp&q=death+of+common+sense&btnG=Google+Search&meta=&fp=e9326c916d736833)

:)
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Matchless on 26 November 2009, 13:51:02
Another heating "Engineer" story....
Mother-in-laws heating had its annual service by Worcester (or whatever they call themselves now), next morning there was no heat so another "Engineer" turns up and diagnoses low system pressure and re-pressurises it.
Next morning, no heat. New " Engineer" turns up and finds no pressure again so spends 3 hours looking for a leak, cant find one so re-pressurises it and leaves.
Next morning, no heat. Supervisor turns up, sees there is no pressure and says 'expansion vessel' which is changed lated that day.
Next morning, no heat. Supervisor plus one turns up, no pressure again and changes the heat exchanger.
Next morning, no heat. "Engineer" turns up and replaces the pump???
Next morning, no heat. I get up early and drive 35miles to MiL and simply look at the boiler etc. There is water on the ground under the pressure relief pipe. Re-pressurise the system and it lights up, second later a trickle of water appears at the pressure relief pipe.
Part of the service requires the pressure relief valve to be tested, most experienced plumbers / technicians know that they often leak once the valve lifts off its seat so they either fit a new seal or replace the valve as part of the service.
New valve clipped in and system holds pressure.
Worcester supervisor turns up and starts ranting about how I wasnt allowed to touch the boiler (combustion chamber etc not opened) then tried to say it voided her maitenance contract terms so I offered to write to his Director and appologise but also explain that an 87 year old woman was left without heating or hot water for 8 days because 4 different "Engineers" and one Supervisor couldnt follow a simple fault finding process. He backed off a bit then. (think I will write anyway).
MiL has a new heat exchanger, pump, fill valve, double check valve, pressure flush???? (Why?????) fresh inhibitor and an overhauled pressure relief valve with new O rings.
Next morning, lovely and warm, and the next, and the next, until....
Next morning, no hot water. Flow switch has packed up. Man is on his way.
here we go again.
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: albitz on 26 November 2009, 15:12:10
I used to work for a company which had a fleet of over 100 trucks in the transport division.A young female assisitant transport planner actually asked on one occasion which way round the M25 went. ::) ;D............on another occasion,when she was told that someone was "in the vicinity" she thought that "the vicinity" was a funny name for a pub. :D ;D
She ended up as P.A.to the  M.D. btw. ::)
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Kevin Wood on 26 November 2009, 15:57:50
Quote
I used to work for a company which had a fleet of over 100 trucks in the transport division.A young female assisitant transport planner actually asked on one occasion which way round the M25 went. ::) ;D............on another occasion,when she was told that someone was "in the vicinity" she thought that "the vicinity" was a funny name for a pub. :D ;D
She ended up as P.A.to the  M.D. btw. ::)

Classic leadership tactic. Pick people who won't outshine you.  ;D

Kevin
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Marks DTM Calib on 26 November 2009, 15:59:13
Quote
Quote
I used to work for a company which had a fleet of over 100 trucks in the transport division.A young female assisitant transport planner actually asked on one occasion which way round the M25 went. ::) ;D............on another occasion,when she was told that someone was "in the vicinity" she thought that "the vicinity" was a funny name for a pub. :D ;D
She ended up as P.A.to the  M.D. btw. ::)

Classic leadership tactic. Pick people who won't outshine you.  ;D

Kevin

Sounds more like a spread leg promotion strategy to me (seen that a few times!)
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Kevin Wood on 26 November 2009, 16:00:02
Quote
Quote
Quote
I used to work for a company which had a fleet of over 100 trucks in the transport division.A young female assisitant transport planner actually asked on one occasion which way round the M25 went. ::) ;D............on another occasion,when she was told that someone was "in the vicinity" she thought that "the vicinity" was a funny name for a pub. :D ;D
She ended up as P.A.to the  M.D. btw. ::)

Classic leadership tactic. Pick people who won't outshine you.  ;D

Kevin

Sounds more like a spread leg promotion strategy to me (seen that a few times!)

Ahh, yes. That's the other possibility. ;D
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Stevie-blunder on 26 November 2009, 18:58:49
God help us with people like all these about  :( ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: bertiecbx550 on 26 November 2009, 21:11:28
I once got sent to do a tv retune when i worked at comet...When i got there i asked what exactly was the problem...Only to be told the sun shines on the tv in the afternoon and i cant see the screen!!! and could i move the tv 10" to the right so it stops the problem...I later found out the customer was a deputy store manager at the tamworth comet store...... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: redelitev6 on 26 November 2009, 21:25:35
 :o and you wonder why we need polish workers!! :o
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: dbug on 26 November 2009, 21:38:43
When I had my IT business an elderly lady came in with a PC that wouldn't boot for repair.  She explained that as it was only a few months old she expected it to be repaired foc under warranty.  I asked her where she had bought it as it obviously wasn't one of my builds (cheapo case etc!!) - PC World she said.  When I suggested she take it back to them for warranty repair she got quite stroppy and abusive insisting that as it was "new" I should repair it foc.  She was politely told to  go forth ;)   - True story - Northants
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: I_want_an_Omega on 26 November 2009, 22:14:15
Some years ago I called our team PA and asked her to book me a flight to Genoa. "That's nice, I really like Italy", she said. When the tickets were delivered they were for Geneva! :'(
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Squealey on 26 November 2009, 22:18:06
About 8 years ago my company sold a good customer of ours an ex demo shrink wrap machine, £40,000 worth of equipment. We always asked that a customer gets the essentials to the machine (3 phase power, air etc etc) then leave it well alone.
Well this customer is like a kid with a new toy and can't wait to switch it on. He wires it up and BANG!!!! Now you or I might be put off by this but after quickly switching it off he switches it back on, god knows what he thought might happen, but, you've guessed it, BANG!!!!
After a little bit of BS on his side (I never touched it, I never switched it on etc etc) we were obviously able to prove as an ex demo it was working 24 hours before it was delivered.
Turns out he had lived up a neutral. My machines don't much like 240v down there and it turns out he had blown up 2 Lenze motor controllers. It would have been one, but he had switched it on again hadn't he. Cost for new one (programmed direct from machinery manufacturer, £850 each)
Oh well, we all learn by our mistakes, or so you would think.
Luckily he has decided to stay with me after I was made redundent in April and requested that I go in last Thursday and install a second hand machine he had picked up. I couldn't believe it when I arrived, he had done exactley the same thing and blown up 2 motor controllers, again!!!!!
As I work for myself now I decided to take a look inside (wasn't allowed to do that at my last company, not as much profit). Found a varistor in each one blown to kingdom come.
Found the varistor at RS, 47p each, soldered them onto the PCB and job done. Saved him £1600+!!!
Although I never made as much cash out of that, the  great feeling I got from making something work with a little bit of savvy and the appriciation I got from the customer was fantastic!
End of the day, he's a great customer, one of the nicest blokes I know, and I need to keep hold of them ones!!!!
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Amigo on 26 November 2009, 23:52:44
Typical "rest head in palm of hand & sigh" situation. Certainly makes one wonder.
     All good but i especially like no.5!!!! ::)
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Gaffers on 27 November 2009, 09:53:22
Quote
Another heating "Engineer" story....
Mother-in-laws heating had its annual service by Worcester (or whatever they call themselves now), next morning there was no heat so another "Engineer" turns up and diagnoses low system pressure and re-pressurises it.
Next morning, no heat. New " Engineer" turns up and finds no pressure again so spends 3 hours looking for a leak, cant find one so re-pressurises it and leaves.
Next morning, no heat. Supervisor turns up, sees there is no pressure and says 'expansion vessel' which is changed lated that day.
Next morning, no heat. Supervisor plus one turns up, no pressure again and changes the heat exchanger.
Next morning, no heat. "Engineer" turns up and replaces the pump???
Next morning, no heat. I get up early and drive 35miles to MiL and simply look at the boiler etc. There is water on the ground under the pressure relief pipe. Re-pressurise the system and it lights up, second later a trickle of water appears at the pressure relief pipe.
Part of the service requires the pressure relief valve to be tested, most experienced plumbers / technicians know that they often leak once the valve lifts off its seat so they either fit a new seal or replace the valve as part of the service.
New valve clipped in and system holds pressure.
Worcester supervisor turns up and starts ranting about how I wasnt allowed to touch the boiler (combustion chamber etc not opened) then tried to say it voided her maitenance contract terms so I offered to write to his Director and appologise but also explain that an 87 year old woman was left without heating or hot water for 8 days because 4 different "Engineers" and one Supervisor couldnt follow a simple fault finding process. He backed off a bit then. (think I will write anyway).
MiL has a new heat exchanger, pump, fill valve, double check valve, pressure flush???? (Why?????) fresh inhibitor and an overhauled pressure relief valve with new O rings.
Next morning, lovely and warm, and the next, and the next, until....
Next morning, no hot water. Flow switch has packed up. Man is on his way.
here we go again.


Dont get me started on heating engineers  >:( >:( >:(
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Marks DTM Calib on 27 November 2009, 09:56:13
They are not engineers....many seem to show a compitence level barely above that that of a toddler!
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Omegadoha, Desert Member on 27 November 2009, 10:32:49
JC head in hands moments. :-?
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: cruisetopoland on 27 November 2009, 10:42:16
This is embarrassing, but true...

I once spent two hours furiously driving in Italy trying to find Florence after my co-pilot decided it would be a good idea to see the sights and try Florentine steak.

After 50 miles of frustration, I worked out that Florence is indeed Firenze, hence the lack of signs to Florence  :-[

Never lived this down  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Debs. on 27 November 2009, 10:46:00
Quote
This is embarrassing, but true...

I once spent two hours furiously driving in Italy trying to find Florence after my co-pilot decided it would be a good idea to see the sights and try Florentine steak.

After 50 miles of frustration, I worked out that Florence is indeed Firenze, hence the lack of signs to Florence  :-[

Never lived this down  ;D ;D ;D ;D

If not meant in the aviation sense (i.e: co-pilot); that`s only slightly less worrying/amusing! ;D
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: cruisetopoland on 27 November 2009, 10:47:29
Quote
Quote
This is embarrassing, but true...

I once spent two hours furiously driving in Italy trying to find Florence after my co-pilot decided it would be a good idea to see the sights and try Florentine steak.

After 50 miles of frustration, I worked out that Florence is indeed Firenze, hence the lack of signs to Florence  :-[

Never lived this down  ;D ;D ;D ;D

If not meant in the aviation sense (i.e: co-pilot); that`s only slightly less worrying/amusing! ;D

The bizarre thing is though, that the co-pilot was ITALIAN
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Entwood on 27 November 2009, 10:48:57
Quote
Quote
Quote
This is embarrassing, but true...

I once spent two hours furiously driving in Italy trying to find Florence after my co-pilot decided it would be a good idea to see the sights and try Florentine steak.

After 50 miles of frustration, I worked out that Florence is indeed Firenze, hence the lack of signs to Florence  :-[

Never lived this down  ;D ;D ;D ;D

If not meant in the aviation sense (i.e: co-pilot); that`s only slightly less worrying/amusing! ;D

The bizarre thing is though, that the co-pilot was ITALIAN

Explains everything .. they NEVER read road signs of any description

:)
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: cruisetopoland on 27 November 2009, 10:51:25
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
This is embarrassing, but true...

I once spent two hours furiously driving in Italy trying to find Florence after my co-pilot decided it would be a good idea to see the sights and try Florentine steak.

After 50 miles of frustration, I worked out that Florence is indeed Firenze, hence the lack of signs to Florence  :-[

Never lived this down  ;D ;D ;D ;D

If not meant in the aviation sense (i.e: co-pilot); that`s only slightly less worrying/amusing! ;D

The bizarre thing is though, that the co-pilot was ITALIAN

Explains everything .. they NEVER read road signs of any description

:)

One city we visited had a nightmare island with angry traffic-surprising that, as 5 of the 6 exits were marked "centro".

How?  WTF?  Considering Romans made good roads, Italian road signs are hopeless  :D
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 27 November 2009, 11:10:46
Quote
Quote
Quote
Quote
This is embarrassing, but true...

I once spent two hours furiously driving in Italy trying to find Florence after my co-pilot decided it would be a good idea to see the sights and try Florentine steak.

After 50 miles of frustration, I worked out that Florence is indeed Firenze, hence the lack of signs to Florence  :-[

Never lived this down  ;D ;D ;D ;D

If not meant in the aviation sense (i.e: co-pilot); that`s only slightly less worrying/amusing! ;D

The bizarre thing is though, that the co-pilot was ITALIAN

Explains everything .. they NEVER read road signs of any description

:)

story is a bit different here..chances are as follows:

road signs are mostly used as targets for shooting experience ;D

if not, stolen by someone ;D

if not, painted by an unknown artist ;D

if it can survive ,  still nobody reads it ;D
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Kevin Wood on 27 November 2009, 11:22:06
Quote
Quote
This is embarrassing, but true...

I once spent two hours furiously driving in Italy trying to find Florence after my co-pilot decided it would be a good idea to see the sights and try Florentine steak.

After 50 miles of frustration, I worked out that Florence is indeed Firenze, hence the lack of signs to Florence  :-[

Never lived this down  ;D ;D ;D ;D

If not meant in the aviation sense (i.e: co-pilot); that`s only slightly less worrying/amusing! ;D

Agreed. You need good eyesight to read those signs from FL35 so the odd mistake is excusable.  ;)

Kevin
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: jereboam on 27 November 2009, 12:44:36
Quote
This is embarrassing, but true...

I once spent two hours furiously driving in Italy trying to find Florence after my co-pilot decided it would be a good idea to see the sights and try Florentine steak.

After 50 miles of frustration, I worked out that Florence is indeed Firenze, hence the lack of signs to Florence  :-[

Never lived this down  ;D ;D ;D ;D
Worth remembering: Naples (Napoli) airport is not signposted from any nearby main roads - you need to head for the centro and work your way out again. :)
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Martin_1962 on 27 November 2009, 18:07:31
Quote
This is embarrassing, but true...

I once spent two hours furiously driving in Italy trying to find Florence after my co-pilot decided it would be a good idea to see the sights and try Florentine steak.

After 50 miles of frustration, I worked out that Florence is indeed Firenze, hence the lack of signs to Florence  :-[

Never lived this down  ;D ;D ;D ;D


Was an interesting place in the 1400s. ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: albitz on 27 November 2009, 18:59:43
you have a hell of a good memory Martin. :y ;D
Title: Re: Idiots at large
Post by: Olympia5776 on 27 November 2009, 19:19:27
I once stood next to a pair of garishly dressed American tourists on the ramparts of Edinburgh Castle and overheard the husband say "What a greeeaaat castelll  ,but why did they go and build it next to a railway line  ?"
And that is a true story.... ;D