Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: LJay on 24 November 2009, 20:29:12
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Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased
his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this:
Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that
sparked my interest.
The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little
something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer.
The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no
long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety....??
WAY TOO COOL! Long story short, I bought the device and brought it
home.
I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button.
Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the
button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time, I'd
get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.
AWESOME!!!
Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is
on the face of her microwave.
Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that
it couldn't be all that bad with only two AAA batteries, right?
There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently
(trusting little soul)while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target.
I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a
second) and then thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But,
if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a
mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised. Am I wrong?
So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading
glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one
hand, and tazer in another.
The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient
your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; and a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.
All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5"
long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference (loaded with two itsy, bitsy
AAA batteries); pretty cute really, and thinking to myself, 'no
possible way!'
What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best
...
I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one
side so as to say, 'Don't do it stupid,' reasoning that a one second
burst from such a tiny lil ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I
decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I
touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and ...
HOLY MOTHER OF.. . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE ....!!!
I'm pretty sure Hulk Hogan ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs!
The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.
Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one
note of caution: there is NO such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged
from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor! A three
second burst would be considered conservative!
A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at
that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and
surveyed the landscape.
My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The
recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it
originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs.. I had no control over the drooling.
Apparently I had crapped in my shorts, but was too numb to know for
sure, and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head, which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my testicles and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!
P.s... My wife can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift
and now regularly threatens me with it!
If you think education is difficult, try being stupid !!!
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Without bothering to check, I'll call hoax.
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Without bothering to check, I'll call hoax.
I don't care -- I've wet myself !
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Without bothering to check, I'll call hoax.
I don't care -- I've wet myself !
So did he ;D ;D
That's the sort of thing I'd do ;D ;D ;D
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love it ;D ;D ;D ;D
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;D
dangerous toys..not a good idea to try them..
I have experimented!! that spray in my eyes from a far distance (4-5 meters) and its worse than a hundred unions..
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Without bothering to check, I'll call hoax.
I don't care -- I've wet myself !
So did he ;D ;D
Not on 2x AAA batteries he didn't.
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Without bothering to check, I'll call hoax.
I don't care -- I've wet myself !
I don't care either, that is one of the funniest things i have read in ages.
I love people listing jokes on here, but this is the first time I have had to comment on it.
And sorry but it has been copied and emailed to one or two people.
Thank you for a great laugh, my wife had to come up to see what I was laughing at.
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Without bothering to check, I'll call hoax.
I don't care -- I've wet myself !
So did he ;D ;D
Not on 2x AAA batteries he didn't.
ITS A JOKE ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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reminds me of a few years ago when one of my work mates bought a tazer device that clipped to the steering wheel of your car when armed then moved it would go off like a lightning rod used 6 D size batteries and boy did it hurt
turns out that it was illegal in the UK
So know what that guy went threw
still bloody funny :y :y :y :y :y
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This is what he had
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QLLngF_FyL4[/media]
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Without bothering to check, I'll call hoax.
I don't care -- I've wet myself !
I don't care either, that is one of the funniest things i have read in ages.
I love people listing jokes on here, but this is the first time I have had to comment on it.
And sorry but it has been copied and emailed to one or two people.
Thank you for a great laugh, my wife had to come up to see what I was laughing at.
I was emailed it by a friend and it made me howl! I like to share things that make me chuckle, keep it going! :y :y
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Looks like you can get some pretty high voltages out of 3 cr2 batteries http://www.aaa-safetyfirst.com/pretender-cellphone-stun-gun.htm
:)
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very very good. :D ;D ;D
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Looks like you can get some pretty high voltages out of 3 cr2 batteries http://www.aaa-safetyfirst.com/pretender-cellphone-stun-gun.htm
:)
CR2's have a terminal voltage of 3V, so 3 of them makes 9V.
Being Li-ion cells, they will however be able to keep the current going for much longer than a standard 9V alkaline cell.
I do doubt that the gun in that advert makes anywhere near the claimed 950 KV though
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CR2's have a terminal voltage of 3V, so 3 of them makes 9V.
Being Li-ion cells, they will however be able to keep the current going for much longer than a standard 9V alkaline cell.
I do doubt that the gun in that advert makes anywhere near the claimed 950 KV though
Not unless they've re-written the laws of physics! For a start the electrodes are, what? 20mm apart?
Dielectric strength of air is, at most, 3MV/m or 3Kv/mm so the electrodes will arc over at 60kV.
That advert is pure bull5h1t!
Kevin
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anyone have the courage to try those on self body ;D
http://www.stungunsupply.com/manufacturer/Barracuda-stun-guns/
"The internal circuits of most electroshock weapons are fairly simple, based on either an oscillator, resonant circuit, and step-up transformer or a diode-capacitor voltage multiplier to achieve the continuous, direct, or alternating high-voltage discharge"
imho I wouldnt trust the battery voltages only !
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Still very funny though ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I haven't stopped laughing since I logged on tonight! it's been a real tonic and i'm very grateful to all you guys & gals who post the jokes, keep 'em coming! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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imho I wouldnt trust the battery voltages only !
You can make ridiculous voltages from very small figures (I can easily make 500 KV from 1.5V), the problems arise when you want the secondary voltages (50 KV, 100 KV, etc) to be sustainable and provide enough current when under load (the human body being the "load" in this case) to achieve the desired result.
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I could knock a circuit up that would give a 3 second pulse at that sort of voltage from such a source and a reasonable amount of mA behind it to.
I have to say......that cat would have been toast ;D ;D :y
Made me laugh, liked that one!
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CR2's have a terminal voltage of 3V, so 3 of them makes 9V.
Being Li-ion cells, they will however be able to keep the current going for much longer than a standard 9V alkaline cell.
I do doubt that the gun in that advert makes anywhere near the claimed 950 KV though
Not unless they've re-written the laws of physics! For a start the electrodes are, what? 20mm apart?
Dielectric strength of air is, at most, 3MV/m or 3Kv/mm so the electrodes will arc over at 60kV.
That advert is pure bull5h1t!
Kevin
You think? ;D ;D
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CR2's have a terminal voltage of 3V, so 3 of them makes 9V.
Being Li-ion cells, they will however be able to keep the current going for much longer than a standard 9V alkaline cell.
I do doubt that the gun in that advert makes anywhere near the claimed 950 KV though
Not unless they've re-written the laws of physics! For a start the electrodes are, what? 20mm apart?
Dielectric strength of air is, at most, 3MV/m or 3Kv/mm so the electrodes will arc over at 60kV.
That advert is pure bull5h1t!
Kevin
Indeed they would.....pressed against the skin it would be interesting to know what the volts would be (any volunteers!) as it varies massively from person to person.
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CR2's have a terminal voltage of 3V, so 3 of them makes 9V.
Being Li-ion cells, they will however be able to keep the current going for much longer than a standard 9V alkaline cell.
I do doubt that the gun in that advert makes anywhere near the claimed 950 KV though
Not unless they've re-written the laws of physics! For a start the electrodes are, what? 20mm apart?
Dielectric strength of air is, at most, 3MV/m or 3Kv/mm so the electrodes will arc over at 60kV.
That advert is pure bull5h1t!
Kevin
Indeed they would.....pressed against the skin it would be interesting to know what the volts would be (any volunteers!) as it varies massively from person to person.
When I was at college we use to wet the ends of the probes on the old AVOmeter and measure the resistance of our bodies. IIRC, it wasn't that great, maybe 2-3Kohms.
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CR2's have a terminal voltage of 3V, so 3 of them makes 9V.
Being Li-ion cells, they will however be able to keep the current going for much longer than a standard 9V alkaline cell.
I do doubt that the gun in that advert makes anywhere near the claimed 950 KV though
Not unless they've re-written the laws of physics! For a start the electrodes are, what? 20mm apart?
Dielectric strength of air is, at most, 3MV/m or 3Kv/mm so the electrodes will arc over at 60kV.
That advert is pure bull5h1t!
Kevin
Indeed they would.....pressed against the skin it would be interesting to know what the volts would be (any volunteers!) as it varies massively from person to person.
When I was at college we use to wet the ends of the probes on the old AVOmeter and measure the resistance of our bodies. IIRC, it wasn't that great, maybe 2-3Kohms.
Indeed, it varies with persperation and where you do it......
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CR2's have a terminal voltage of 3V, so 3 of them makes 9V.
Being Li-ion cells, they will however be able to keep the current going for much longer than a standard 9V alkaline cell.
I do doubt that the gun in that advert makes anywhere near the claimed 950 KV though
Not unless they've re-written the laws of physics! For a start the electrodes are, what? 20mm apart?
Dielectric strength of air is, at most, 3MV/m or 3Kv/mm so the electrodes will arc over at 60kV.
That advert is pure bull5h1t!
Kevin
Indeed they would.....pressed against the skin it would be interesting to know what the volts would be (any volunteers!) as it varies massively from person to person.
Absolutely, that is why my last test on a gun that claimed to deliver 100KV was conducted after 8 people had their skin resistance measured at the point on the body where they would have been struck.
Of all the people measured, most of the values were within 20K of each other anyway (which meant they would have felt the same if actually zapped in real life).
Off load volts = 90 KV (just about)
On load volts = 42 KV (quite dismal really)
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CR2's have a terminal voltage of 3V, so 3 of them makes 9V.
Being Li-ion cells, they will however be able to keep the current going for much longer than a standard 9V alkaline cell.
I do doubt that the gun in that advert makes anywhere near the claimed 950 KV though
Not unless they've re-written the laws of physics! For a start the electrodes are, what? 20mm apart?
Dielectric strength of air is, at most, 3MV/m or 3Kv/mm so the electrodes will arc over at 60kV.
That advert is pure bull5h1t!
Kevin
Indeed they would.....pressed against the skin it would be interesting to know what the volts would be (any volunteers!) as it varies massively from person to person.
Absolutely, that is why my last test on a gun that claimed to deliver 100KV was conducted after 8 people had their skin resistance measured at the point on the body where they would have been struck.
Of all the people measured, most of the values were within 20K of each other anyway (which meant they would have felt the same if actually zapped in real life).
Off load volts = 90 KV (just about)
On load volts = 42 KV (quite dismal really)
Enough to make your eyes water ;D
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Enough to make your eyes water ;D
It created enough shock in one test subject that they lost control of bodily waste functions when exposed to (what had to be) at least a 10 second burst before the battery started getting flaky.
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CR2's have a terminal voltage of 3V, so 3 of them makes 9V.
Being Li-ion cells, they will however be able to keep the current going for much longer than a standard 9V alkaline cell.
I do doubt that the gun in that advert makes anywhere near the claimed 950 KV though
Not unless they've re-written the laws of physics! For a start the electrodes are, what? 20mm apart?
Dielectric strength of air is, at most, 3MV/m or 3Kv/mm so the electrodes will arc over at 60kV.
That advert is pure bull5h1t!
Kevin
Indeed they would.....pressed against the skin it would be interesting to know what the volts would be (any volunteers!) as it varies massively from person to person.
Killerwatt!!! :y Might even jump start a sense of humour!!! ;) ;)
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CR2's have a terminal voltage of 3V, so 3 of them makes 9V.
Being Li-ion cells, they will however be able to keep the current going for much longer than a standard 9V alkaline cell.
I do doubt that the gun in that advert makes anywhere near the claimed 950 KV though
Not unless they've re-written the laws of physics! For a start the electrodes are, what? 20mm apart?
Dielectric strength of air is, at most, 3MV/m or 3Kv/mm so the electrodes will arc over at 60kV.
That advert is pure bull5h1t!
Kevin
Indeed they would.....pressed against the skin it would be interesting to know what the volts would be (any volunteers!) as it varies massively from person to person.
Killerwatt!!! :y Might even jump start a sense of humour!!! ;) ;)
I'll buy in to that......on the proviso that you have to take a minimum 25% of the voltage that I sit back & take, for 50% of the time that I have to withstand it ;)
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CR2's have a terminal voltage of 3V, so 3 of them makes 9V.
Being Li-ion cells, they will however be able to keep the current going for much longer than a standard 9V alkaline cell.
I do doubt that the gun in that advert makes anywhere near the claimed 950 KV though
Not unless they've re-written the laws of physics! For a start the electrodes are, what? 20mm apart?
Dielectric strength of air is, at most, 3MV/m or 3Kv/mm so the electrodes will arc over at 60kV.
That advert is pure bull5h1t!
Kevin
Indeed they would.....pressed against the skin it would be interesting to know what the volts would be (any volunteers!) as it varies massively from person to person.
Killerwatt!!! :y Might even jump start a sense of humour!!! ;) ;)
I'll buy in to that......on the proviso that you have to take a minimum 25% of the voltage that I sit back & take, for 50% of the time that I have to withstand it ;)
Aha! A challenge!!!! ;D ;D ;D
Right! So you imply that you're pain threshold is greater than mine, would that be a male/female thing or just that you consider yourself to be tougher than me, I'm curious?? :-?
Incidently, 15 years ago I'd have put it to the test, but, I grew up!! :P
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Right! So you imply that you're pain threshold is greater than mine, would that be a male/female thing or just that you consider yourself to be tougher than me, I'm curious?? :-?
Neither, I'm a sparks by trade and electrocution is one of the hazards of the job ;)
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Right! So you imply that you're pain threshold is greater than mine, would that be a male/female thing or just that you consider yourself to be tougher than me, I'm curious?? :-?
Neither, I'm a sparks by trade and electrocution is one of the hazards of the job ;)
Only if you're a cowboy!!! ;)
Nope, still don't get your reasoning! :-? :-?
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Only if you're a cowboy!!! ;)
The sparks who claims never to have been electrocuted is either....
a) A liar
b) Not an electrician
Nope, still don't get your reasoning! :-? :-?
Simple.....you were quick enough to put me up for being the guinea pig, so you can lead by example ;)
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Only if you're a cowboy!!! ;)
The sparks who claims never to have been electrocuted is either....
a) A liar
b) Not an electrician
Nope, still don't get your reasoning! :-? :-?
Simple.....you were quick enough to put me up for being the guinea pig, so you can lead by example ;)
Thank you. Just wanted you to show your true colours!! ;)
Wasn't me being an arse over a JOKE!
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Just wanted you to show your true colours!! ;)
You have no idea what my true colours are ;)
Wasn't me being an arse over a JOKE!
Who's getting arsey?
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seen before, though slightly different aftermath. Makes a great sketch :y
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seen before, though slightly different aftermath. Makes a great sketch :y
Shame a certain other idiot couldn't see it for what it was!!! ;) :y
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seen before, though slightly different aftermath. Makes a great sketch :y
Shame a certain other idiot couldn't see it for what it was!!! ;) :y
I saw it for what it was, but jokes that require a degree of story telling to get to the punchline are much better if the background story has an element of feasibility.
Bit like the Bible really......great story, but the author f**ked it up right at the beginning.
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seen before, though slightly different aftermath. Makes a great sketch :y
Shame a certain other idiot couldn't see it for what it was!!! ;) :y
I saw it for what it was, but jokes that require a degree of story telling to get to the punchline are much better if the background story has an element of feasibility.
Bit like the Bible really......great story, but the author f**ked it up right at the beginning.
I wasn't the author! I merely passed on something that I found amusing for others to enjoy! :y
If you don't like it, don't read it and don't rather comment! >:(
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I wasn't the author!
I don't recall saying you was.
I merely passed on something that I found amusing for others to enjoy! :y
I too found it amusing.......right up until the point of physical impossibilty.
If you don't like it, don't read it and don't rather comment! >:(
I've been right out of ESP the last 6 months or so, so pray tell how do I decide what I like or don't like UNTIL I have read it?
Sorry to disappoint you love, but this is a PUBLIC forum, and the last time I checked it was still quite legal (as well as acceptable) to voice one's own opinion providing it doesn't degenerate in to direct insults (a skill you seem to have mastered quite well on this, as well as numerous other threads when you read something that YOU don't like).
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you two, make my night ;D
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you two, make my night ;D
The commercial break will be up shortly, in the meantime....don't go changing channel ;D
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<reaches for the popcorn> ::)
Kevin
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Watt ? I hear you cry, reVOLTing says another, me I just want to go OHM :)