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Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Jimbo B on 07 February 2010, 22:34:39

Title: If Pet's kept diaries
Post by: Jimbo B on 07 February 2010, 22:34:39

Excerpts from a dog's diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's diary

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.  Bast**ds.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....  For now.................

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: If Pet's kept diaries
Post by: Vamps on 07 February 2010, 22:40:39

Brilliant.......... :y

Title: Re: If Pet's kept diaries
Post by: PhilRich on 07 February 2010, 22:45:00

Absolutely Brilliant! An inspired piece of observation!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: If Pet's kept diaries
Post by: jonnycool on 07 February 2010, 22:50:50

Exactly right!

Title: Re: If Pet's kept diaries
Post by: Proz on 08 February 2010, 09:50:45

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ..Very good  :y

Title: Re: If Pet's kept diaries
Post by: The Red Baron on 08 February 2010, 09:54:36

pretty much spot on that is :)

Title: Re: If Pet's kept diaries
Post by: bob.dent on 08 February 2010, 12:45:59

 ;D ;D ;D

Excellent! :y