Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: dad1uk on 15 February 2010, 21:58:30

Title: Baked Beans
Post by: dad1uk on 15 February 2010, 21:58:30

One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.  When it became
apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home  from work.  Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that  I would be late because I had to walk home.  On my
way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was  more
than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off
any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and
before I knew  it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.

Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly:
"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."

He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took
a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the  telephone
rang.  He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned
and  went to answer the call..

The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running  over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.  I took my napkin from my lap
and fanned the air around me vigorously.

Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more.  The stink
was worse than cooked cabbage.

Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room,
I went on like this for another few minutes.

The pleasure was indescribable.  When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom,  I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on  my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased  with myself. 

My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.  He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not. 

At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated
around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"





 


 


 



I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: Plomien on 15 February 2010, 22:03:18

LMAO ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: waspy on 15 February 2010, 22:04:35

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I was laughing all the way through that, because i had an idea that's how it ended :)

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: Lazydocker on 15 February 2010, 22:08:21

I had a feeling that would be the punchline... Very good ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: Amigo on 15 February 2010, 22:59:05

I'll admit i did'nt see that one coming. Excellent. ;D :y

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: Bixy1 on 15 February 2010, 23:54:21

Yup! works for me!  ;D  ;D :y

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: albitz on 16 February 2010, 01:59:09

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D love it. :y

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: Hannah Judes Dad on 16 February 2010, 15:36:56

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: Tony H on 16 February 2010, 16:55:08

 ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: PhilRich on 16 February 2010, 21:17:12

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: cam2502 on 16 February 2010, 22:59:46

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: Sad on 17 February 2010, 11:21:00

 ;D ;D ;D ;D       :y

Title: Re: Baked Beans
Post by: Pippin on 17 February 2010, 12:23:18

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y