Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: cem_devecioglu on 24 March 2010, 21:05:52

Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 24 March 2010, 21:05:52
dumb question but how many years :-/
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: redelitev6 on 24 March 2010, 21:08:37
nearly 20
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 24 March 2010, 21:08:47
It all depends on the causes of 'the problem'.

Can they be worked on and resolved with love returning?  Or has love and romance definately departed from the marriage, and it is time to call it all a day?

If love was once there, can it possibly be restored?

Only you and her can know the answers, and perhaps it is time for a very full adult discussion between the two of you! ;) ;)
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 24 March 2010, 21:13:38
Quote
nearly 20

phew , very long time :(

you must have passed similiar crisis many times..

personally I dont believe things can be broken or repaired in a short time.. try cooling things and not to debate for some time.. :-/


Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: Lizzie_Zoom on 24 March 2010, 21:20:02
Quote
Quote
nearly 20

phew , very long time :(

you must have passed similiar crisis many times..

personally I dont believe things can be broken or repaired in a short time.. try cooling things and not to debate for some time.. :-/



Sorry Cem, but I disagree on that one.

From a woman's point of view if the husband shows no enthusiasm to sit down with you and find out what is wrong by why of face to face communication, then she may very well assume he does not care and the marriage is over.

Silence will aggravate the situation, building up frustration, anger and resentment, whereas a good discussion now could identify some very simple issues that are annoying one party or both which could easily be resolved.

Jaw jaw jaw, is far better than war, war, war, with the truth flying out of the window. ;) ;)
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: sexydaz on 24 March 2010, 21:20:49
how longs it been goin on,any kids involved,do you want to save your marriage..its easy to let go and in the heat of the moment call it a day but if its worth saving fight for it,theres days when my wife is out of order and weve had some massive fallouts and i think sometimes if it wasnt for my kids we would not be together but then when shes calmed down and realised she was wrong(and yes im not perfect but yer dont know my wife)she wont apologise she just buys me a few little things and acts all nicey nicey its her way.
only you can tell if youve had enough and if you think she has maybe it is but dont give up too quick and see if it is worth saving
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: redelitev6 on 24 March 2010, 21:23:03
 :( 4 kids all still at home ,so it would be a huge wrench to up sticks and go
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 24 March 2010, 21:25:37
Quote
Quote
Quote
nearly 20

phew , very long time :(

you must have passed similiar crisis many times..

personally I dont believe things can be broken or repaired in a short time.. try cooling things and not to debate for some time.. :-/



Sorry Cem, but I disagree on that one.

From a woman's point of view if the husband shows no enthusiasm to sit down with you and find out what is wrong by why of face to face communication, then she may very well assume he does not care and the marriage is over.

Silence will aggravate the situation, building up frustration, anger and resentment, whereas a good discussion now could identify some very simple issues that are annoying one party or both which could easily be resolved.

Jaw jaw jaw, is far better than war, war, war, with the truth flying out of the window. ;) ;)

Lizzie, some preferences change from person to person and even for the same person changes from age to age.. In those kind of situations I personally try to give some freedom to the other side.. and deicde what she wants actually..  and try to listen myself what I want.. there is a saying "let her/him free , if she/he doesnt come back , she/he is never yours"

And I dont belive some se4rious problems can be solved with debate.. the person must gave up for something  self not for the reason you force.. I hope I could tell..
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: Entwood on 24 March 2010, 21:27:47
This is NOT the place to ask/discuss such a matter IMHO ... AFAIK no-one on the forum is a qualified counsellour .. and that is what you need ... expert help.

If you are at all interested in saving your marriage contact one of the Marriage Guidance counseling services in your area..

They are the experts in helping you and your wife to discuss your problems in the right way ...
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 24 March 2010, 21:29:06
Quote
:( 4 kids all still at home ,so it would be a huge wrench to up sticks and go

that will be a strong deciding factor..
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 24 March 2010, 21:29:36
Quote
This is NOT the place to ask/discuss such a matter IMHO ... AFAIK no-one on the forum is a qualified counsellour .. and that is what you need ... expert help.

If you are at all interested in saving your marriage contact one of the Marriage Guidance counseling services in your area..

They are the experts in helping you and your wife to discuss your problems in the right way ...

better idea..
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: redelitev6 on 24 March 2010, 21:34:19
Quote
This is NOT the place to ask/discuss such a matter IMHO ... AFAIK no-one on the forum is a qualified counsellour .. and that is what you need ... expert help.

If you are at all interested in saving your marriage contact one of the Marriage Guidance counseling services in your area..

They are the experts in helping you and your wife to discuss your problems in the right way ...
sorry to put people on the spot,we seem to have a huge ammount of life"experience" on the forum ,just thought their must have been plenty of people through the same thing
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: Martin_1962 on 24 March 2010, 21:34:43
Middle age crisis?

Talk it over what ever you do
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: sexydaz on 24 March 2010, 21:35:46
its very easy to get stuck in a rut where everydays the same and things blow out of all proportions,talking causes arguments..not talking solves nothing and the silences get longer and unbearable for the two of you and terrible for the kids,i hope you sort it out if its what you want but sometimes tbh if its over the hanging around and fighting is just dragging out the inevitable
all the best in whatever you do
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: Gaffers on 24 March 2010, 21:37:45
As someone who has had to deal with a lot of workers with similar problems I would recommend a service such as Relate.  They do cost but they are a good professional service :y
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 24 March 2010, 21:44:51
I'm afraid I have seen moments that talking solves nothing and causes things to be worse..

I think every relation is unique and is dependant on many sensitive factors..so without knowing you and the other side and those factors giving advice doesnt sound good.. Also we are not proffesionals for that subject ,so agreed Entwoods idea..
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 24 March 2010, 21:46:37
There ain't nothing like "Deaf & Dumb Dinners" happy days are here again  ;D ;D ;D

Every married person I think gets into a rut. Most of us have children, money problems etc etc
It all depends I suppose if you want to make it work yourself? If so ask Mrs when the kids have gone bed what the break is going on?? see what she thinks? get ready to hear stuff you may not want to as we all see ourselves differently...

Good luck mate :y
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: Lazydocker on 24 March 2010, 21:47:57
As per previous comments... Relate.

When you contact them, be sure to tell them that things are getting bad and they'll get you an emergency appointment :y

Go there with an open mind and both be honest
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: Welung666 on 24 March 2010, 21:48:43
Quote
This is NOT the place to ask/discuss such a matter IMHO ... AFAIK no-one on the forum is a qualified counsellour .. and that is what you need ... expert help.

If you are at all interested in saving your marriage contact one of the Marriage Guidance counseling services in your area..

They are the experts in helping you and your wife to discuss your problems in the right way ...

My sentiments exactly Nige, this isn't the place for this kind of thing. We all have the deepest sympathy for any relationship breakdown but it's best kept off the open forum at least. I'd gladly offer a shoulder/advice as best I can off forum of course, just keep open info limited ;)
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: Darth Loo-knee on 24 March 2010, 21:50:56
Quote
Quote
This is NOT the place to ask/discuss such a matter IMHO ... AFAIK no-one on the forum is a qualified counsellour .. and that is what you need ... expert help.

If you are at all interested in saving your marriage contact one of the Marriage Guidance counseling services in your area..

They are the experts in helping you and your wife to discuss your problems in the right way ...

My sentiments exactly Nige, this isn't the place for this kind of thing. We all have the deepest sympathy for any relationship breakdown but it's best kept off the open forum at least.



Oh yes it is (in my best panto voice) ;D
Title: Re: when do you know marriage is over?
Post by: doog on 25 March 2010, 09:24:17
Quote
:( been having a rough time with the mrs lately,got to the stage where i'm thinking is it worth going on like this,we can barely speak to each other anymore in a civilised way,how many people have been through this and what to do ?
it is a bit like that in my house   
it all started out fine but now she has the beans touching the egg and bacon  on my breakfast plate
clearly a sign its going wrong ;)