Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Nickbat on 13 May 2010, 09:29:06
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Opening early due to Lazydocker's dray delivery. ;) ;D
Anyone fancy an early morning tea or coffee? :y
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tea?
coffee?
im at work, so make it a scotch :y
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Oi! I just found a haggis in the toilets. It wasn't there when I left last night! ;) ;D ;D
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tea?
coffee?
im at work, so make it a scotch :y
No worries. Glenfiddich OK? Or are you a Bells man? ;)
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I need to speak to someone about my drains. Back later.
Oh, and chat amongst yourselves...and get yourself a drink if you want, you know where the bar is. ;)
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clucking bells!
Ill have something decent cheers!
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O,K, who is the smart 4rse that changed my vimto for ATF, dont you think ive tasted enough of it recently? :P :P
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O,K, who is the smart 4rse that changed my vimto for ATF, dont you think ive tasted enough of it recently? :P :P
Sorry, couldnt resist, and they are the same colour
Fuchs / Vimto whats the difference ;D ;D ;D
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Another little gag I got this morning...
GOD LOVES DRUNK PEOPLE TOO
A man and his wife were awoken at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the
door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!"
He slams the door and returns to bed.
"Who was that?" asked his wife..
"Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers.
"Did you help him?" she asks.
"No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out
there!"
"Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us?
I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!"
The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the
pounding rain.
He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?"
"Yes," comes back the answer.
"Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband.
"Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark.
"Where are you?" asks the husband.
"Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
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I've gotta nip to Makro... Anyone need anything?
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Im thinking of holding a raffle tonight, anybody interested in buying some ticket strips,great prizes to be had,
1st prize is a diving suit. :y :y
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Anyone fancy a few chicken wings?
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/New%20stuff/hooters-girls-1.jpg)
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Anyone fancy a few chicken wings?
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/New%20stuff/hooters-girls-1.jpg)
I prefer breast meat myself ::) ::)
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Or perhaps a Beer?
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/New%20stuff/OGhooters_girl.jpg)
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Anyone fancy a few chicken wings?
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/New%20stuff/hooters-girls-1.jpg)
well they look better than those dodgey pork scratchings Nickbat sold me last night,,,,im a bit worried as ive heard they were supplied by the local rabbi. :o :P
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Anyone fancy a few chicken wings?
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/New%20stuff/hooters-girls-1.jpg)
well they look better than those dodgey pork scratchings Nickbat sold me last night,,,,im a bit worried as ive heard they were supplied by the local rabbi. :o :P[/quote]
So please tell me that this isnt you?
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/New%20stuff/707-night-at-lavatories.jpg)
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Im thinking of holding a raffle tonight, anybody interested in buying some ticket strips,great prizes to be had,
1st prize is a diving suit. :y :y
im sorry but due to my glasses being grubby i got the prize description wrong,,,,,,,,,,,,1st prize is in fact a divan suite. :D :D
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Or perhaps a Beer?
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/New%20stuff/OGhooters_girl.jpg)
Beer or Breasts, beer or Breasts, bit early for a beer,
Can I have a sanwich instead, "Have you got a menu" ;)
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Im thinking of holding a raffle tonight, anybody interested in buying some ticket strips,great prizes to be had,
1st prize is a diving suit. :y :y
im sorry but due to my glasses being grubby i got the prize description wrong,,,,,,,,,,,,1st prize is in fact a divan suite. :D :D
Talking of prizes, does this pub ever have a quiz, lile on a Friday night.
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Anyone fancy a few chicken wings?
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/New%20stuff/hooters-girls-1.jpg)
well they look better than those dodgey pork scratchings Nickbat sold me last night,,,,im a bit worried as ive heard they were supplied by the local rabbi. :o :P
So please tell me that this isnt you?
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/New%20stuff/707-night-at-lavatories.jpg)
HOW DARE YOU >:(, do you really think id have those tasteless floor tiles in my bog?. :o
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Im thinking of holding a raffle tonight, anybody interested in buying some ticket strips,great prizes to be had,
1st prize is a diving suit. :y :y
im sorry but due to my glasses being grubby i got the prize description wrong,,,,,,,,,,,,1st prize is in fact a divan suite. :D :D
Talking of prizes, does this pub ever have a quiz, lile on a Friday night.
sorry, i dont know the answer to that. ;)
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Well i dont know if its possible to reinstate the old quiz nights that we used to have, I know that it was a hell of a lot of work, but the fun was unbelievable, some times i couldnt even type for the fact that i was weeing myself with laughter.
Perhaps a thought for the future?
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Well i dont know if its possible to reinstate the old quiz nights that we used to have, I know that it was a hell of a lot of work, but the fun was unbelievable, some times i couldnt even type for the fact that i was weeing myself with laughter.
Perhaps a thought for the future?
mind you after 6 pints of "fartwells old pi55" i was wetting myself without laughing. :( :(
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Blimey!!.......when did the Nags Head re-open? ::)
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Blimey!!.......when did the Nags Head re-open? ::)
I was suprised you weren't banging on the door Bob ;)
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Anyone fancy a few chicken wings?
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/New%20stuff/hooters-girls-1.jpg)
well they look better than those dodgey pork scratchings Nickbat sold me last night,,,,im a bit worried as ive heard they were supplied by the local rabbi. :o :P
So please tell me that this isnt you?
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/New%20stuff/707-night-at-lavatories.jpg)
;D ;D ;D ;D splendid ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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what strange person has been ordering pizzas & only eating the crust?, luckily i found the toppings still warm in the toilet sink so have used them in the sandwiches. ;)
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what strange person has been ordering pizzas & only eating the crust?, luckily i found the toppings still warm in the toilet sink so have used them in the sandwiches. ;)
I'll stick to the pies then ::) :y
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[quote author=3A2E333B3B255C0 what strange person has been ordering pizzas & only eating the crust?, luckily i found the toppings still warm in the toilet sink so have used them in the sandwiches. ;)[/quote]
(http://i211.photobucket.com/albums/bb52/crazydad_01/images-2.jpg)
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what strange person has been ordering pizzas & only eating the crust?, luckily i found the toppings still warm in the toilet sink so have used them in the sandwiches. ;)
I'll stick to the pies then ::) :y
a wise choice sir!,,,,the chicken & mushroom were only chicken when bought last year, & a strange concept having the mushrooms on the outside i fancy. :D :D
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Pint of Bellhaven Best barkeep - and get one yourself :y
Are you allowed music in here? theres a video jukebox in the corner................
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Pint of Bellhaven Best barkeep - and get one yourself :y
Are you allowed music in here? theres a video jukebox in the corner................
music is allowed, Nickbat will be along later with his comb & toilet paper, at least he has found a use for the "izal" bog paper in the gents. :y
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what strange person has been ordering pizzas & only eating the crust?, luckily i found the toppings still warm in the toilet sink so have used them in the sandwiches. ;)
I'll stick to the pies then ::) :y
a wise choice sir!,,,,the chicken & mushroom were only chicken when bought last year, & a strange concept having the mushrooms on the outside i fancy. :D :D
sound nice mmmmmmmm :P
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Hey, there's a girl here, says she come for a job to work "on the bar" shall I send her through.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RwLrbqwqLcg
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......"izal" bog paper......
:o Eeeeeeew, yuk!.....`takes me back to my Prep. school days: "Use both sides, Girls" ;D
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......"izal" bog paper......
:o Eeeeeeew, yuk!.....`takes me back to my Prep. school days: "Use both sides, Girls" ;D
not so much wipe,more like spread :-X :-/
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......"izal" bog paper......
:o Eeeeeeew, yuk!.....`takes me back to my Prep. school days: "Use both sides, Girls" ;D
not so much wipe,more like spread :-X :-/
;D ;D ;D
Absolutely spot on! I remember it as a kid and it was truly awful stuff and had a smell like disinfectant. It truly was "crap" paper. ::) ;D
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......"izal" bog paper......
:o Eeeeeeew, yuk!.....`takes me back to my Prep. school days: "Use both sides, Girls" ;D
not so much wipe,more like spread :-X :-/
;D ;D ;D
Absolutely spot on! I remember it as a kid and it was truly awful stuff and had a smell like disinfectant. It truly was "crap" paper. ::) ;D
Well, well, well. Mr Dent's dropped by.
Must go and do a stock check. ;) ;) ;D ;D
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Anyone seen
Victor Meldrew STMO in the bar today? ;) ;D
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I broke open a bottle of the Heidseck 1989 for Zulu last night...and he didn't show up. Pass me that mallet and I'll just re-cork it... ;) ;D
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I broke open a bottle of the Heidseck 1989 for Zulu last night...and he didn't show up. Pass me that mallet and I'll just re-cork it... ;) ;D
That was very decent of you indeed Nick, could have done with a wee drink and indeed was looking forward to one until Professor Sourgravy called in and asked me to look at his rear off-side paw.
Needless to say I spent the subsequent hour or so trying to remove the largest tick I've seen for a while from between two of his toes.
Did I get a thank you? - ;D ;D ;D he's a cat after all so he rolled over and went to sleep leaving me too shattered to do anything else but consider how lucky I was to retain at least some flesh on my hands and arms :'(
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O,K, who is the smart 4rse that changed my vimto for ATF, dont you think ive tasted enough of it recently? :P :P
Sorry, couldnt resist, and they are the same colour
Fuchs / Vimto whats the difference ;D ;D ;D
Re-arrange the letters and it spells VOMIT ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I broke open a bottle of the Heidseck 1989 for Zulu last night...and he didn't show up. Pass me that mallet and I'll just re-cork it... ;) ;D
That was very decent of you indeed Nick, could have done with a wee drink and indeed was looking forward to one until Professor Sourgravy called in and asked me to look at his rear off-side paw.
Needless to say I spent the subsequent hour or so trying to remove the largest tick I've seen for a while from between two of his toes.
Did I get a thank you? - ;D ;D ;D he's a cat after all so he rolled over and went to sleep leaving me too shattered to do anything else but consider how lucky I was to retain at least some flesh on my hands and arms :'(
Pleased to hear that you successfully carried out a tickectomy on the Prof! :y
Now, you really do deserve a swig of that finest champagne, Zulu. :)
....Oh sorry, it seems to have gone a little flat. :( ;)
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......"izal" bog paper......
:o Eeeeeeew, yuk!.....`takes me back to my Prep. school days: "Use both sides, Girls" ;D
not so much wipe,more like spread :-X :-/
;D ;D ;D
Absolutely spot on! I remember it as a kid and it was truly awful stuff and had a smell like disinfectant. It truly was "crap" paper. ::) ;D
Well, well, well. Mr Dent's dropped by.
Must go and do a stock check. ;) ;) ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D
Bloody cheek......if it wasn't for me keeping the profits up, this establishment would go bust!! :P That reminds me, where's that Northern shandy drinking idiot STMO? It's about time he bought me a pint or six!! ::) ;D
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I broke open a bottle of the Heidseck 1989 for Zulu last night...and he didn't show up. Pass me that mallet and I'll just re-cork it... ;) ;D
That was very decent of you indeed Nick, could have done with a wee drink and indeed was looking forward to one until Professor Sourgravy called in and asked me to look at his rear off-side paw.
Needless to say I spent the subsequent hour or so trying to remove the largest tick I've seen for a while from between two of his toes.
Did I get a thank you? - ;D ;D ;D he's a cat after all so he rolled over and went to sleep leaving me too shattered to do anything else but consider how lucky I was to retain at least some flesh on my hands and arms :'(
Pleased to hear that you successfully carried out a tickectomy on the Prof! :y
Now, you really do deserve a swig of that finest champagne, Zulu. :)
....Oh sorry, it seems to have gone a little flat. :( ;)
Never mind, how about a white wine/fruit based drink instead - or is that just for the laydiees? :-* :-*
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Hi everyone, im just back from spain and still in holiday mode so im buying.....whats everyone having?
Barkeep.....do you accept euros? :)
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Hi everyone, im just back from spain and still in holiday mode so im buying.....whats everyone having?
Barkeep.....do you accept euros Monopoly money? :)
;D ;D ;D ;D
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Hi everyone, im just back from spain and still in holiday mode so im buying.....whats everyone having?
Barkeep.....do you accept euros Monopoly money? :)
[/highlight]
;D ;D ;D ;D
Barkeep!!!!!.........iv been interfered with!!!..... ;D ;D ;D;D ;D
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Hi everyone, im just back from spain and still in holiday mode so im buying.....whats everyone having?
Barkeep.....do you accept euros Monopoly money? :)
[/highlight]
;D ;D ;D ;D
Barkeep!!!!!.........iv been interfered with!!!..... ;D ;D ;D;D ;D
Well if you walk in here wearing a sombrero and flowery beach shorts, what do you expect?
;) ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Does the Nag's head sell desperado's?
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Does the Nag's head sell desperado's?
I had to check that one:
http://www.desperadosbeer.co.uk/verify.asp
Sadly, I'm too young to get past the page. ;) ;D ;D
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Nasty burning smell coming from the Gents. Has TB been in tonight? ;) ;D ;D
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A linguistics professor was lecturing his class one day.
'In English', he said, 'A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative.'
A loud voice from the back of the room piped up, 'Yeah, right.'
;) ;D ;D
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There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle airport through thick fog with less than 10m visibility when his instruments went out. So he began circling around looking for landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and the passengers are getting very nervous.
Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy, 'Hey! Where am I?' To this, the solitary office worker replies, 'You're in a plane.'
The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.
The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it. 'Simple,' replies the pilot, 'I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 per cent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there I knew the airport was just 5 miles away.'
;) ;D ;D
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Where is the flamin landlord of this establishment?, i put my money in the machine in the gents for a pack of five & all i got was a disposable glove. >:(
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Where is the flamin landlord of this establishment?, i put my money in the machine in the gents for a pack of five & all i got was a disposable glove. >:(
might come in handy then :y
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Where is the flamin landlord of this establishment?, i put my money in the machine in the gents for a pack of five & all i got was a disposable glove. >:(
might come in handy then :y
That one deserves a thumbs-up [smiley=thumbup.gif] [smiley=thumbup.gif]
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Where is the flamin landlord of this establishment?, i put my money in the machine in the gents for a pack of five & all i got was a disposable glove. >:(
might come in handy then :y
That one deserves a thumbs-up [smiley=thumbup.gif] [smiley=thumbup.gif]
heard the one about the leper playing poker?
Threw his hand in, didn't he.....
Coat? Over here matey..... :y
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Where is the flamin landlord of this establishment?, i put my money in the machine in the gents for a pack of five & all i got was a disposable glove. >:(
might come in handy then :y
That one deserves a thumbs-up [smiley=thumbup.gif] [smiley=thumbup.gif]
heard the one about the leper playing poker?
Threw his hand in, didn't he.....
Coat? Over here matey..... :y
;D ;D ;D ;D yeah, he was always fingers and thumbs when trying to play cards ;D ;D
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Sorry I haven't been behind the bar much tonight. Been catching up with the last two episodes of "Ashes to Ashes" which I had recorded.
Cracking drama. :y
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Sorry I haven't been behind the bar much tonight. Been catching up with the last two episodes of "Ashes to Ashes" which I had recorded.
Cracking drama. :y
A slow burning drama was it?
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Dusty, sort of dirty, coal face type drama.....
Kinda obvious how it would end up as well. ;)
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Dusty, sort of dirty, coal face type drama.....
Kinda obvious how it would end up as well. ;)
Was Ashley Coal in that? ::) ::)
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Dusty, sort of dirty, coal face type drama.....
Kinda obvious how it would end up as well. ;)
Was Ashley Coal in that? ::) ::)
In a miner sort of part..... ;D
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Dusty, sort of dirty, coal face type drama.....
Kinda obvious how it would end up as well. ;)
Was Ashley Coal in that? ::) ::)
Anymore puns like that, Zulu and I'll have to limit you to doubles! ;) ;D ;D ;D
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Dusty, sort of dirty, coal face type drama.....
Kinda obvious how it would end up as well. ;)
Was Ashley Coal in that? ::) ::)
Anymore puns like that, Zulu and I'll have to limit you to doubles! ;) ;D ;D ;D
You might have to cut me some slack on that one Nick ;D
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By the way, we have a featured wine this week.
It has an almondy taste but doesn't rush to your head, taking it's time to send you into a state of relaxation.
Ladies and gentleman, I give you "Nutty Slack".
What? It's just the name of the wine, I tell you!
;) ;D
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Great minds think alike, Zulu! ;) ;D ;D ;D
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Dusty, sort of dirty, coal face type drama.....
Kinda obvious how it would end up as well. ;)
Was Ashley Coal in that? ::) ::)
In a miner sort of part..... ;D
Was he pitted against anyone in particular? :-[
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Dusty, sort of dirty, coal face type drama.....
Kinda obvious how it would end up as well. ;)
Was Ashley Coal in that? ::) ::)
In a miner sort of part..... ;D
Was he pitted against anyone in particular? :-[
Initially slated as he was riddled by many after initial shiny promise.... :P
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Dusty, sort of dirty, coal face type drama.....
Kinda obvious how it would end up as well. ;)
Was Ashley Coal in that? ::) ::)
In a miner sort of part..... ;D
Was he pitted against anyone in particular? :-[
Initially slated as he was riddled by many after initial shiny promise.... :P
;D ;D ;D I'm not surprised as I'd heard that despite bags of effort he wasn't too grate :-/
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any chance of a drink.. havent got a clue what your talking about. ill just sit in the corner if its all the same .. :-?
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any chance of a drink.. havent got a clue what your talking about. ill just sit in the corner if its all the same .. :-?
Mild and bitter, or you want to try the top shelf??
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Dusty, sort of dirty, coal face type drama.....
Kinda obvious how it would end up as well. ;)
Was Ashley Coal in that? ::) ::)
In a miner sort of part..... ;D
Ah yes, I've just been told it seams that he poked his head in for a while :y
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Dusty, sort of dirty, coal face type drama.....
Kinda obvious how it would end up as well. ;)
Was Ashley Coal in that? ::) ::)
In a miner sort of part..... ;D
Ah yes, I've just been told that it seams that he poked his head in for a while :y
that one took a while! ;D :y
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Dusty, sort of dirty, coal face type drama.....
Kinda obvious how it would end up as well. ;)
Was Ashley Coal in that? ::) ::)
In a miner sort of part..... ;D
Ah yes, I've just been told that it seams that he poked his head in for a while :y
that one took a while! ;D :y
;D ;D ;D 30 plus years have taken their toll :o :o
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any chance of a drink.. havent got a clue what your talking about. ill just sit in the corner if its all the same .. :-?
Don't know how, but we seem to have got into a coal-fire pun situation.
What would you like to drink? Ah, yes, a coke.
Doh!! ;) ;D ;D
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any chance of a drink.. havent got a clue what your talking about. ill just sit in the corner if its all the same .. :-?
Don't know how, but we seem to have got into a coal-fire pun situation.
What would you like to drink? Ah, yes, a coke.
Doh!! ;) ;D ;D
ace..... :y
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Can I have a coala please?
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Can I have a coala please?
All out.
Pick something else, please??
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Can I have a coala please?
All out.
Pick something else, please??
Agreed, we might have to scuttle this topic :y
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Can I have a coala please?
All out.
Pick something else, please??
Agreed, we might have to scuttle this topic :y
Might still get a wee nugget if we work hard....
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Can I have a coala please?
All out.
Pick something else, please??
Agreed, we might have to scuttle this topic :y
Might still get a wee nugget if we work hard....
Yes, we might be able to smoke something else out :y :y
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Can I have a coala please?
All out.
Pick something else, please??
Agreed, we might have to scuttle this topic :y
Might still get a wee nugget if we work hard....
Yes, we might be able to smoke something else out :y :y
Rake over the coals and fire up your solution then, clever clogs...... ;D
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Can I have a coala please?
All out.
Pick something else, please??
Agreed, we might have to scuttle this topic :y
Might still get a wee nugget if we work hard....
Yes, we might be able to smoke something else out :y :y
Rake over the coals and fire up your solution then, clever clogs...... ;D
I may have to consult a relevant publication - Poking Around in Dark Holes by Ann Thrasite
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" black " russian please ::)
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Can I have a coala please?
All out.
Pick something else, please??
Agreed, we might have to scuttle this topic :y
Might still get a wee nugget if we work hard....
Yes, we might be able to smoke something else out :y :y
Rake over the coals and fire up your solution then, clever clogs...... ;D
The pub cat is called mantle. Hold on a second, it's making a bit of a din...
Mantle! Peace, please!
How's that for convoluted. ;) :D ;D ;D
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Can I have a coala please?
All out.
Pick something else, please??
Agreed, we might have to scuttle this topic :y
Might still get a wee nugget if we work hard....
Yes, we might be able to smoke something else out :y :y
Rake over the coals and fire up your solution then, clever clogs...... ;D
I may have to consult a relevant publication - Poking Around in Dark Holes by Ann Thrasite
Don't say that.... Seen the local plod ambling along the High Street towards us...
Must be about that time......
Last orders, you lot!
Otherwise, remember the key and the flowerpot and don't leave too much ash and nutty slack on the carpet. Cleaner took ages this morning to get rid of last nights drivel! ;D
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" black " russian please ::)
One Guinness and cider coming up!
(Sign of a misspent youth!) ;) ;D
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Can I have a coala please?
All out.
Pick something else, please??
Agreed, we might have to scuttle this topic :y
Might still get a wee nugget if we work hard....
Yes, we might be able to smoke something else out :y :y
Rake over the coals and fire up your solution then, clever clogs...... ;D
The pub cat is called mantle. Hold on a second, it's making a bit of a din...
Mantle! Peace, please!
How's that for convoluted. ;) :D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D I understand that the landlord had to fire dogs to get the cat his position ;D ;D
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Can I have a coala please?
All out.
Pick something else, please??
Agreed, we might have to scuttle this topic :y
Might still get a wee nugget if we work hard....
Yes, we might be able to smoke something else out :y :y
Rake over the coals and fire up your solution then, clever clogs...... ;D
The pub cat is called mantle. Hold on a second, it's making a bit of a din...
Mantle! Peace, please!
How's that for convoluted. ;) :D ;D ;D
Aye, not bad for a latecomer!
;D
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Can I have a coala please?
All out.
Pick something else, please??
Agreed, we might have to scuttle this topic :y
Might still get a wee nugget if we work hard....
Yes, we might be able to smoke something else out :y :y
Rake over the coals and fire up your solution then, clever clogs...... ;D
The pub cat is called mantle. Hold on a second, it's making a bit of a din...
Mantle! Peace, please!
How's that for convoluted. ;) :D ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D I understand that the landlord had to fire dogs to get the cat his position ;D ;D
You've beaten me for convolution, Zulu! ;) ;D
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OK, I'm off to Bedfordshire. Goodnight all!
Leave the keys under the flowerpot! :y
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Blimey!!.......when did the Nags Head re-open? ::)
think i owe you a pint Bob. Or some petrol money.
::)