Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Del Boy on 16 May 2010, 04:35:12
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Well, heard last week from a colleuge of the mrs that she was sleeping with another bloke, part of the reason I wasn't on much last week to be honest, anyway at work tonight thought I'd ring my son up and have a heart to heart with him about all of this. Rang him about I dunno 7 ish anyway, rang the mrs apparently she was doing her ironing, but she was acting as if she was in a rush to get off the phone. Rang my son as he was supposed to be out with his mates, he sounded very stressed out of breath and quite shock and I said to him are you at your mums because I can't get hold of her, he said yeah I'll call you back in a minute.
After trying to get through again 3 times but unable to get through drove home found my son outside and he said "dad it's him he's just left". Dumped the car on the curb ran in and it's all come out but she is saying oh I haven't slept with him, my sons and was pouring out with blood front door covered in blood, garage covered in blood all from things he punched, anyway turns out now he's 16 but even I wouldn't piss him off, he wanted the bloke to come outside and he wanted and I could see it in his eyes to kill the man.
Now I know who he is where he lives everything about him I know, things tomorrow are gonna happen big style, he will pay for this, so I've been up most of the night looking for him came in slept on sofa with son and his two mates and can't get asleep keep going over and over it in my head, I can't believe she's done this.
Tell me guys what should I do, I don't want to leave but I have too, I knew it was going on but having the 22 year old man over when my son could walk in is fuc*ing disgusting. The bloke as I said needs to pay but what would you do? I would give better details but I'm on my sons iPhone but I needed one or two friendly shoulders to cry upon.
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My opinion only, if she is at it then I would throw her out, and file for divorce, bashing the guy up won't solve anything other than making you feel better, then again I would probably bash him up too.
If you can't throw her out and you leave, still get a solicitor and serve divorce papers :y
It's not nice, but given the road she has went down you have now lost all trust, and now need to sort it out.
I don't envy you at all, given the position she has put you in, give her some payback :y
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We're not married we've never seen the point. This is the 3rd time now I think I'm too kind. I don't know how she could do this, she said it's because she was unhappy, my son now he's 16 as I said he hit the nail bang on the head, if you're unhappy it doesn't mean you just start sleeping around. See what can I do I mean my son is stressed seriously stressed he's been up all night too, he even went round the blokes house last night. I don't want him in trouble far from it but he's intent on doom something whatever I've said he's disagreed with and thinks he should go round there, but on the same token if he wants to do it I'm going to be there with him.
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We're not married we've never seen the point. This is the 3rd time now I think I'm too kind. I don't know how she could do this, she said it's because she was unhappy, my son now he's 16 as I said he hit the nail bang on the head, if you're unhappy it doesn't mean you just start sleeping around. See what can I do I mean my son is stressed seriously stressed he's been up all night too, he even went round the blokes house last night. I don't want him in trouble far from it but he's intent on doom something whatever I've said he's disagreed with and thinks he should go round there, but on the same token if he wants to do it I'm going to be there with him.
Sounds like your son will do the bloke whether your there or not, he does risk getting nicked though. Still though I would throw her out or leave, 3 times is OTT, sounds like you have been too nice to her.
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sorry to hear this Del :(
Whats deal with the house? If your renting then i would say leave, with your son, start new life :y
If you own house, kick her out!
Beating hell out of the other guy will make you feel better in short term but and sorry if this comes across wrong, but its the Mrs to blame, not him, because she may have not told him the whole truth...
Just my thoughts
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sorry to hear ..
agreed with others..
kick her out of your life..she will always do this..
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Oh dear Del that is bad news! :'( :'(
I remember you had trouble before ::) ::)
Although you may feel like sorting this out as most men do, please think twice. I agree with the other comments that she is the one who has let you down; the bloke has just done what many men do if given an opportunity, and you don't know what she has said.
Any violence could end up with you being arrested, and for what?! ::) ::)
Keep your cool, help your son to overcome the issue, and then take action on the legal front. i.e. who's name is on the rent book or if you own your home, who's name is it in?
Take it all along those lines with a solicitor ;) ;)
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Del, do everything you can to prevent your son going after the bloke. He,s an angry young man atm and could get himself in a lot of trouble. He could end up doing time for GBH or similar, and once that happens it will hang round his neck like a millstone for many years to come. It seriously affects all kinds of things from employment opportunities to travelling abroad etc.
If revenge must be taken it is best served cold (and calculated) not in the heat of the moment. ;)
As for your Mrs.......complete waste of time imo, get rid asap. :y
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sorry but if i was seeing a woman i would know she had someone else..the house alone would tell tale there would be a mans presence and belongings about and how do you hide a son who if came home would be like whos this guy,come on del 3 times..you must love this woman but it sounds like its all one way as for if it was me and i got caught i would accept a few slaps as any man knows seeing another blokes woman is wrong and its a risk they take but if you get caught you deserve a slap,if the shoe was on my foot and it was my wife (and this is not advice it is what i would do)i wouldnt be able to stop myself from goin round there and dishing out a few taps but like said it does no good but would make me feel better..all the best in whatever you do and it sounds like you need to move on from this heartless woman
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I agree with the others,
first time ok may get another chance second time I probably would have kicked her out (but easy to say)
3rd time sorry but time to go if house is rented in her name pack up with son and leave if in your name send her off with her 22 yr old to see if he can look after her....
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Del, in these circumstances a parting of the ways is the most sensible option for you both and although many would entreaty otherwise, dialogue must always come before action as parting on reasonable terms is preferable to ending things in a hostile way and suffering the lingering resentment that such action invariably creates.
Insofar as violence is concerned, I would suggest to both you and your son that this is misplaced and has the potential for this situation spiralling out of control. I can see the inclination for a violent reaction to this being considered at the time, but violence used after the fact is liable to cause as much psychological harm to you both, the perceived victims of this matter.
A sensible parting will allow you to get on with your life without having the curse of resentment burning away as you try to move forward in the most constructive way possible.
I’m, very sorry to learn of your difficulties Del and hope that you can get things sorted out in the most realistic way you can. :y :y
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Sorry to hear of your troubles, you need to end this quickly and without any violence. Others are right, sit her down and talk to her, you have nothing to lose at this point, then bring your son in and talk it out with him. Take legal advice on board as early as possible.
One some strays there are signs, but sometimes can be worked out, straying a 2nd time then there are problems, a 3rd stray is time to start a new future.
Hope all works out for the best.
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Del,
really sorry to hear that...
my advice and have been through this too...
Keep your cool....
Ask her to leave and get her to stay with a friend.
Its a horrible situation to be in, but in time it will only get better and you will find someone who wouldnt do that and you deserve...
Keep your chin up, be strong and have the upper hand.
The sooner she is out of your life , the better..
As the old saying goes,
as one door closes, another one opens ,
:y
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Been here in some shape or form too :-/
Im afraid once was enough for me but third time ... no way >:(
Easier said than done but you need to get away from this woman so you and your son can live happy lives without it being spoiled by her .
I wanted to kick the sh-- of of him too but i havn't yet and that was a few years ago ... you never know though what will happen one day .
Get away from her :y
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The thing is it's not just her she's ruined, it's everyone else around her, it's the most selfish thing I could ever think to do, I think I have to leave I've got my own place anyway so moving out is no issue, but I just can't trust her. That's the thing I just can't trust her.
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The thing is it's not just her she's ruined, it's everyone else around her, it's the most selfish thing I could ever think to do, I think I have to leave I've got my own place anyway so moving out is no issue, but I just can't trust her. That's the thing I just can't trust her.
Dont move out of property if it is your own. She is in the wrong, ask her to leave.
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I`m with Ploppy and Proz on this.....life`s too short! ;)
It must be an awful position for your son at his (still youthful) age....being 'pulled' two ways; feeling protective of you and his Mum: even though she`s so-selfishly let you both down. :'(
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The thing is it's not just her she's ruined, it's everyone else around her, it's the most selfish thing I could ever think to do, I think I have to leave I've got my own place anyway so moving out is no issue, but I just can't trust her. That's the thing I just can't trust her.
Thats what killed it for me , the trust ..... i would never be able to trust her again :(
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The thing is it's not just her she's ruined, it's everyone else around her, it's the most selfish thing I could ever think to do, I think I have to leave I've got my own place anyway so moving out is no issue, but I just can't trust her. That's the thing I just can't trust her.
Dont move out of property if it is your own. She is in the wrong, ask her to leave.
In these kind of circumstances , its best to leave the places where you have bad memories.. a fresh start will always be better imho.. and I'm afraid "trust" word is not meaningful anymore.. :-/
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Just been down to her work, spoke to the woman who's bloke it is they've kissed nothing else but I've also been told she's texting others as well, that's it done.
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Have been reading all this, and, having been in the same position as you twice before now, must offer you some advice that I didn't want to take at the time, but worked for me, and made me feel better in time.
A person (male or female) who feels the need for anothers company when they are aready in a relationship MUST feel there is something missing in that relationship for them, or they would not seek out the company of another.
Regardless of who started what, it takes TWO to tango, two to make, and two to break a relationship, and in your case, the man has a relationship too, so he KNEW what was going on, and was prepared to cheat on HIS partner/wife, therefore he wanted to make a relationship with your lady knowing she had a partner. He didn't care, and neither did she about hurting their respective relationships.
This means you are better off out of it, because she had done it before.
As for "wev'e only kissed...." it is so unlikely its not worth considering, because a man or woman doing this KNOWINGLY is doing it for kicks they can't/don't get at home, and the thrill of getting caught is the motivation.
Leave, friend, go back to your home, and heal. find someone deserving of your attention, this lady plainly is not.
Take comfort in the fact others care about you and how you feel, and are willing to offer you the advice and shoulder to cry on, albeit metaphorically, and stop your son doing something that will affect him in later life, and only come back to haunt him possibly. Violence does not make anything right, and the other man will be looking over his shoulder for a time expecting a beating.
Rise above it, walk away with head held high, for you did not do anything disrespectful, and others will respect you for it.
Best Wishes,
Mike.
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I look at it like this....
If you take her back there will ALWAYS be THREE in the bed, ALWAYS.
Move on. And do it Amicably.
Smashing some blokes face in is NOT the way to go, no matter how bitter you feel. God it hurts, I know it does.
Never look back in anger, and remember there will always be three in the bed. NOT GOOD.
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had it happen to me too!!very recently!agree with sixstring tbh.marriage/relationships have to be based on trust and you cant trust her having done what she has more than once.although its hard to do your best off without her mate. :y
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According to her I frighten her, I've known for sometime about this but had no evidence, I kept dropping hints and Friday afternoon I flipped, I never did anything to her but I was punching things and yes, I was saying I know, I know who it is etc etc, she's going I can't live like this anymore. Then after Saturday and seeing the state my son was in I don't know what is wrong in her sick disgusting filthy head. But get this, today driving near where the bloke lives, I see her coming out of his road, she tells me "oh I've just called it off tell Liam he's won" Liam being my son, she thought I be getting ready for work so she knew where I would be, every Tuesday my son is out of the house until 6, she must think I'm stupid. I know what'll happen, it'll be yeah I'll shag him then after a while I'll go back to Del because he's had me back before. She does this and she had the bare faced cheek to say to me earlier I'm stuffed without a car, and I haven't got any money, and like a stupid prick I said take my credit card which she refused but I mean how dare she.
Earlier after I'd seen her coming out from there I sat by his road just thinking if I do this is happens properly and it happens now, but for what I feel better, but I get locked up lose my job and everything else. This won't go away for him though it'll happen but, I need him to think he's home and dry with her first purely for the fact that he won't be ready for me to pounce. I mean I haven't even kicked off yet, not properly anyway, but all she keeps saying to me is I don't want you I don't want you, my son said to me earlier, how she can say that to you is unreal.
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Del my addvice is to not hit the bloke as it takes two and i know it hurts but i would just leave mate and try and get on with your life if you want you can pm me and i can help you as i have been through the same thing so ni know how you feel, and yes you are so soft to forgive her in the past but that what loves does to you, you will be fine when you start your divorce and get rid , and then you and your son can be happy again and maybe in the future the right person will come and treat you right.
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Well people caught that filthy excuse I was upset over last night. Sat and hid up in a bush opposite my house or what was my house then wallop at exactly 01:04 I saw him coming out of MY house with her kissing him!!! My 16 year old last week said to her, you choose mum me or him, she then text me and said tell Liam he's one, then all week she has been going on at him about loyalty because he's been more loyal to me. Where in the name of all that is holy is her loyalty to him? He's going to say later, get up to anythng last night he'll already know if she's lieing or not. Well I'm disgusted with her, as he said last week give her the benefit of the doubt she admitted it fair & square, now though fu*k her. My son said he's out of there and he doesn't want anymore to do with her. I don't want her to know I was watching but she'll know if he says anything and he's not like me if something pisses him off he'll say.
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Things now happen my way with him too, thinks he can get away with this does he?
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Take it easy mate, theres alot of sound advice in the responses above, please heed them.
I have been thorugh similar once before, not nice, but time DOES heal and the further you can get away from her the better, no more chances for her mate, dont waste your life trying with someone like that.......
Best wishes and dont let them drag you down......
:y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y :y