Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: eliteomegaman on 05 June 2010, 11:34:38
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40 Gypsies died and went to heaven.
They turned up at the Pearly Gates and asked St
Peter to let them in.
He said that they didn't have room for all 40 of
them. He only had room for 5.
They all went away to think about who would come in.
A short while later St Peter went to see God and
said 'They've gone!'
God replied, 'What, the Pikeys'?
St Peter 'No, the f*%king gates'!!!! :D ;D :D ;D
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;D ;D ;D splendid :y
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Now is this classed as religeous, sexist, racist or just funny. ;D ;D :y
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Now is this classed as religeous, sexist, racist or just funny. ;D ;D :y
Being of Romany stock (with a bit of Irish, English & French thown in) I find this extremely offensive >:(
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Now is this classed as religeous, sexist, racist or just funny. ;D ;D :y
Being of Romany stock (with a bit of Irish, English & French thown in) I find this extremely offensive >:(
So, you didnt break a smile then. :-/
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short story based on the observance of life ::)
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Now is this classed as religeous, sexist, racist or just funny. ;D ;D :y
Being of Romany stock (with a bit of Irish, English & French thown in) I find this extremely offensive >:(
So, you didnt break a smile then. :-/
Probably broke wind ;D ;D ;D
I wanna know what type of joke we CAN publish, I am not racist in any colour kind or creed, but seems all jokes are out of bounds, no matter what the content it will offend some one. So I see no point in posting any more.
I have had a load pm's asking me for MORE but sadly Admins dislike them, cos it seems to me they have A SENSE OF HUMOUR FAILURE. Get a life, they are JOKES, JOKES, meant to be funny and not pi$$ anyone off, that is why they are called JOKES. :y :y :y
Whats next? Deleting my Soap Spoilers, cos I spoilt id for someone.
Rant Over.
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Now is this classed as religeous, sexist, racist or just funny. ;D ;D :y
Being of Romany stock (with a bit of Irish, English & French thown in) I find this extremely offensive >:(
Being of the homo sapiens stock, I find all jokes about people extremely offensive. Also, as I had a pet once, I find all jokes about animals extremely offensive. Also, because I live in the UK, but have travelled to a few other places, I find any jokes which are region-specific, highly offensive. Also, because I have an Omega, I find all jokes about Vauxhalls offensive. Actually, I have owned Fords and Morris cars as well, so no jokes about them please. Hmm, on further thought, I have considered buying other makes of car, so the best thing is to avoid jokes about any car.
Can all jokes in future be about Martians only, please.
::) ::) ::)
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;D ;D ;D ;D Cracker :y
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Bit naughty given the current state of affairs here, but
Bloody Flippin' Fantastic non the less!!!!!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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Now is this classed as religeous, sexist, racist or just funny. ;D ;D :y
Being of Romany stock (with a bit of Irish, English & French thown in) I find this extremely offensive >:(
Being of the homo sapiens stock, I find all jokes about people extremely offensive. Also, as I had a pet once, I find all jokes about animals extremely offensive. Also, because I live in the UK, but have travelled to a few other places, I find any jokes which are region-specific, highly offensive. Also, because I have an Omega, I find all jokes about Vauxhalls offensive. Actually, I have owned Fords and Morris cars as well, so no jokes about them please. Hmm, on further thought, I have considered buying other makes of car, so the best thing is to avoid jokes about any car.
Can all jokes in future be about Martians only, please.
::) ::) ::)
DULY OBLIGED......
A Martian went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn't like Martians.
The game warden ordered the Martian to show his hunting license, and the Martian pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license.
The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, "This duck ain't from Ontario.This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin' license,boy?"
The Martian reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.
The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said "This ain't no Quebec duck. This duck's from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license?"
The Martian reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, "This ain't no Manitoba duck. This here duck's from Nova Scotia. You got a Nova Scotia huntin' license?"
Again the Martian reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license.
The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Martian "Just where the hell are you from?"
The Martian smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, " You tell me, you're the expert."
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Just an aside on this joke thing,i recently did a charity gig.It was at my local club for help the heroes,i do the compering there.Most people there know me so i can get away with a lot,after the show the secretary came up to me.He said we had 2 complaints about you tonight,i thought it might be my language,or maybe a couple of risky jokes i told.But no it was a joke about a fat mothering law.Where do i go from there,obviously i have got to be more careful what i say in future. :( :-X
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Here we go again!! ::) ::) ::) ::)
This is getting tedious I am afraid guys :( :( :(
When I first joined the OOF two years ago there was not this constant questioning of what was right or wrong, as instead we just used to post and have a great laugh ;) ;)
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It is, but whats the answer ?? might have to ban jokes, as most of them are offensive to someone. :-/
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call me a hypocrite - but it is quite funny ;D ;D ;D
and Pitchfork - stop being a wind-up-merchant ;D ;)
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Here we go again!! ::) ::) ::) ::)
This is getting tedious I am afraid guys :( :( :(
When I first joined the OOF two years ago there was not this constant questioning of what was right or wrong, as instead we just used to post and have a great laugh ;) ;)
Sorry if i offended you then lizzie no more jokes from me :-X
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Here we go again!! ::) ::) ::) ::)
This is getting tedious I am afraid guys :( :( :(
When I first joined the OOF two years ago there was not this constant questioning of what was right or wrong, as instead we just used to post and have a great laugh ;) ;)
Sorry if i offended you then lizzie no more jokes from me :-X
i dont think Liz was having a go at you :y
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Here we go again!! ::) ::) ::) ::)
This is getting tedious I am afraid guys :( :( :(
When I first joined the OOF two years ago there was not this constant questioning of what was right or wrong, as instead we just used to post and have a great laugh ;) ;)
Sorry if i offended you then lizzie no more jokes from me :-X
i don't think Liz was having a go at you :y
No I wasn't rest assured :y :y.
I am just sounding off generally on this constant questioning of everything being posted and over analysis of subject matter. I didn't add anything to the "Chinese Takeaway" thread as I think enough was already stated, although for me an essential 'fact' was not covered:
As I have stated before two years ago we used to post, yes remembering normal decencies of decorum, and just have a good laugh with fellow OOF's.
Now the OOF has got so big there is no 'special family feel' anymore, as I have witnessed in the commercial field when a company becomes 'international' instead of that small 'everyone knows each other' outfit it was before.
I, and I get the impression many others, have a fear of posting on very reasonable threads in case they attract personal derision, plain rudeness, bad language, have suggested we are below average intelligence, or are just told bluntly "this thread should not have been started" because they do not agree with the political or any other content. Where has the "sorry but I don't agree with that..........because of x, y, z," gone??????
We used to question each other and have a good laugh! In fact it could be funny when you were proved wrong!! :D :D :D
Now though we are constantly under attack when we post :o :o
This is a great shame :'( :'(
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I dont think the forum has realy got any bigger tbh, there are about the same number of people posting as there always have been imo. The atmosphere is definetely different though. :-/
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I dont think th forum has realy got any bigger tbh, there re about the same number of people posting as there always have been io. The amosphere is deinetely diferent though. :-/
Of that Albs there is no question!! :y :y :y
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I wish you hadnt quoted me until I had corrected my mistakes - lappy keyboard is furbared. ::) :D
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Here we go again!! ::) ::) ::) ::)
This is getting tedious I am afraid guys :( :( :(
When I first joined the OOF two years ago there was not this constant questioning of what was right or wrong, as instead we just used to post and have a great laugh ;) ;)
Sorry if i offended you then lizzie no more jokes from me :-X
i don't think Liz was having a go at you :y
No I wasn't rest assured :y :y.
I am just sounding off generally on this constant questioning of everything being posted and over analysis of subject matter. I didn't add anything to the "Chinese Takeaway" thread as I think enough was already stated, although for me an essential 'fact' was not covered:
As I have stated before two years ago we used to post, yes remembering normal decencies of decorum, and just have a good laugh with fellow OOF's.
Now the OOF has got so big there is no 'special family feel' anymore, as I have witnessed in the commercial field when a company becomes 'international' instead of that small 'everyone knows each other' outfit it was before.
I, and I get the impression many others, have a fear of posting on very reasonable threads in case they attract personal derision, plain rudeness, bad language, have suggested we are below average intelligence, or are just told bluntly "this thread should not have been started" because they do not agree with the political or any other content. Where has the "sorry but I don't agree with that..........because of x, y, z," gone??????
We used to question each other and have a good laugh! In fact it could be funny when you were proved wrong!! :D :D :D
Now though we are constantly under attack when we post :o :o
This is a great shame :'( :'(
Obviously that hit a nerve with you, LZ but, as I said in my original post on the subject, the Middle East is a very sensitive subject. Rather than merely reporting the news, your post supported one side from the outset- before all the facts were known - a move that I felt had the potential to cause some members to become quite upset (as was the case). I am perfectly entitled to suggest that the thread was potentially harmful, just as you were entitled to say it wasn't. ;)
That has little to do with this thread which is about jokes, or at least that's what I thought. ::)
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Here we go again!! ::) ::) ::) ::)
This is getting tedious I am afraid guys :( :( :(
When I first joined the OOF two years ago there was not this constant questioning of what was right or wrong, as instead we just used to post and have a great laugh ;) ;)
Sorry if i offended you then lizzie no more jokes from me :-X
i don't think Liz was having a go at you :y
No I wasn't rest assured :y :y.
I am just sounding off generally on this constant questioning of everything being posted and over analysis of subject matter. I didn't add anything to the "Chinese Takeaway" thread as I think enough was already stated, although for me an essential 'fact' was not covered:
As I have stated before two years ago we used to post, yes remembering normal decencies of decorum, and just have a good laugh with fellow OOF's.
Now the OOF has got so big there is no 'special family feel' anymore, as I have witnessed in the commercial field when a company becomes 'international' instead of that small 'everyone knows each other' outfit it was before.
I, and I get the impression many others, have a fear of posting on very reasonable threads in case they attract personal derision, plain rudeness, bad language, have suggested we are below average intelligence, or are just told bluntly "this thread should not have been started" because they do not agree with the political or any other content. Where has the "sorry but I don't agree with that..........because of x, y, z," gone??????
We used to question each other and have a good laugh! In fact it could be funny when you were proved wrong!! :D :D :D
Now though we are constantly under attack when we post :o :o
This is a great shame :'( :'(
Obviously that hit a nerve with you, LZ but, as I said in my original post on the subject, the Middle East is a very sensitive subject. Rather than merely reporting the news, your post supported one side from the outset- before all the facts were known - a move that I felt had the potential to cause some members to become quite upset (as was the case). I am perfectly entitled to suggest that the thread was potentially harmful, just as you were entitled to say it wasn't. ;)
That has little to do with this thread which is about jokes, or at least that's what I thought. ::)
This is what I mean Nick!! ::) ::) ::)
If the other party disagrees with your point of view then they must not air their views on here, even although the facts were known - but I am not going to resurrect that again, just read my thread from the beginning in full!! ;) ;)
If my thread was "harmful" in terms of upsetting others (!!!) what about yours on the environment? Oh, no sorry, of course you know all the facts on that and should not be questioned............ ::) ::) :D :D :D :D
Right Nick, this 'debate' of ours is exactly what I mean. One viewpoint is posted, and becuase the other person disagrees with it, it must be all wrong!!
Before this goes any further into a childish tit for tat let us two put an end to this together??!
If you stop posting political threads and attacking those who disagree with you in a personal manner, then I will also cease to stop publishing any thread on any political matter, with all the implications that entails. How about it? :-/ :-/ :D :D ;)
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This is what I mean Nick!! ::) ::) ::)
If the other party disagrees with your point of view then they must not air their views on here, even although the facts were known - but I am not going to resurrect that again, just read my thread from the beginning in full!! ;) ;)
If my thread was "harmful" in terms of upsetting others (!!!) what about yours on the environment? Oh, no sorry, of course you know all the facts on that and should not be questioned............ ::) ::) :D :D :D :D
Right Nick, this 'debate' of ours is exactly what I mean. One viewpoint is posted, and becuase the other person disagrees with it, it must be all wrong!!
Before this goes any further into a childish tit for tat let us two put an end to this together??!
If you stop posting political threads and attacking those who disagree with you in a personal manner, then I will also cease to stop publishing any thread on any political matter, with all the implications that entails. How about it? :-/ :-/ :D :D ;)
1. I don't think the sarcasm is warranted. I've never professed to know all the facts and I have always been open to science-based rebuttals; though I haven't come across any convincing ones lately.
2. Kindly point out where I have "attacked" anyone in a "personal manner". Incidentally, I have been called a nutjob, Little Englander and so on. Those are personal attacks. Needless to say, though, I'm relatively thick-skinned and I'm still here (for the time being, at any rate).
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........................in fact Nick this is all what I mean. It is now very hard work to post anything serious in General Chat without being questioned on why you should be expressing your opinion, and even now doubting myself! ::) ::)
Therefore you do what you like Nick :y :y :y
I will NOT be posting anything about Politics, although a student of this subject and life experienced, with only general historical or general knowledge subjects discussed by me. :y :y :y :y
You can now post whatever you like on without me interfering.
Hopefully that will make my contribution to this wonderful site much happier anyway, with helping other member with Omega querries my main objective, as I try and do now when knowledge permits! ::) ::) :D :D :D :D :D :D :D ;)
Peace to all :-* :-* :-* :-* :-*
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all boring.just (my opinion)
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU B*STARD!!!!"
;D
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Now is this classed as religeous, sexist, racist or just funny. ;D ;D :y
Being of Romany stock (with a bit of Irish, English & French thown in) I find this extremely offensive >:(
Being of the homo sapiens stock, I find all jokes about people extremely offensive. Also, as I had a pet once, I find all jokes about animals extremely offensive. Also, because I live in the UK, but have travelled to a few other places, I find any jokes which are region-specific, highly offensive. Also, because I have an Omega, I find all jokes about Vauxhalls offensive. Actually, I have owned Fords and Morris cars as well, so no jokes about them please. Hmm, on further thought, I have considered buying other makes of car, so the best thing is to avoid jokes about any car.
Can all jokes in future be about Martians only, please.
::) ::) ::)
Oh, go and build some shelves :y ;D ;D ;D ;D
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At least someone recognises irony
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Infamy, Infamy, they've all got it infamy! ::) Where's my coat? ;D
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At least someone recognises irony
8-)
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HELLO!!!!
It was little old me that started this thread and it was a ''JOKE'' :o :o :o
It was actually meant for 'The Boy' & was tongue-in-cheek aimed at his remark about pickeys!! ::) ::) ::)
Personally i think it to be VERY funny & listening to what a lot of people in general say (outside of OOF) it rings true!! :-?
May i be frank? (well its Andy but not according to the ex!) ....... The World is apparently ending in 2012 so how about us leaving with a smile on our faces - it takes far less muscles to laugh than to frawn ....... fact!! ;) ;) ;)
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Some quality jokes on this thread if I may say so ;D ;D ;D
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Some quality jokes on this thread if I may say so ;D ;D ;D
Second that :y
I've had some great laughs from the jokes (& not a few groans ::)), IMO a good joke lightens your mood for the whole day :y
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Some quality jokes on this thread if I may say so ;D ;D ;D
Second that :y
I've had some great laughs from the jokes (& not a few groans ::)), IMO a good joke lightens your mood for the whole day :y
Some people hate the jokes on here, but I've heard some top quality ones here, had people in stitches - always like a laugh every now and then :y
Jon
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HELLO!!!!
It was little old me that started this thread and it was a ''JOKE'' :o :o :o
It was actually meant for 'The Boy' & was tongue-in-cheek aimed at his remark about pickeys!! ::) ::) ::)
Personally i think it to be VERY funny & listening to what a lot of people in general say (outside of OOF) it rings true!! :-?
May i be frank? (well its Andy but not according to the ex!) ....... The World is apparently ending in 2012 so how about us leaving with a smile on our faces - it takes far less muscles to laugh than to frawn ....... fact!! ;) ;) ;)
Personally, I would like to go back to the old style minimal moderation, relying on members to be sensible.
BUT, as per the other discussion, we get a small minority of members who have to push the limits too far (then subsequently keep baiting the Admin Team). Then those same members start moaning because the Admin Team moderates their posts, then a whole heap of bad feeling starts, and then we end up where we are right now. And then people get over-sensitive. Then, in order to restore some kind of harmony, the Admin Team have to do a difficult clamp-down, then members think they are being censored, and start to rebel, fractures the community.
Again, personally, by the time I finish work for a day, I have had enough of fractured "divide and conquer" workgroups, so I sure as hell don't enjoy giving up large proportions my own personal time and money here, just to endure the same old shit.
Now, wrt to jokes, I like a joke as much as the next man. BUT, with this heightened sense of dysfunction on here, coupled with the fact that somebody is always the brunt of a joke, I would be inclined to try to think who you could upset before posting. In addition to that, in nearly 4 years of OOF, the number of original jokes I have read on OOF probably don't reach double figures. All the other thousands are tired, old jokes that may have been amusing the first time around, but we've all heard them so many times before, they have become tedious.
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HELLO!!!!
It was little old me that started this thread and it was a ''JOKE'' :o :o :o
It was actually meant for 'The Boy' & was tongue-in-cheek aimed at his remark about pickeys!! ::) ::) ::)
Personally i think it to be VERY funny & listening to what a lot of people in general say (outside of OOF) it rings true!! :-?
May i be frank? (well its Andy but not according to the ex!) ....... The World is apparently ending in 2012 so how about us leaving with a smile on our faces - it takes far less muscles to laugh than to frawn ....... fact!! ;) ;) ;)
Personally, I would like to go back to the old style minimal moderation, relying on members to be sensible. :y
BUT, as per the other discussion, we get a small minority of members who have to push the limits too far (then subsequently keep baiting the Admin Team). Then those same members start moaning because the Admin Team moderates their posts, then a whole heap of bad feeling starts, and then we end up where we are right now. And then people get over-sensitive. Then, in order to restore some kind of harmony, the Admin Team have to do a difficult clamp-down, then members think they are being censored, and start to rebel, fractures the community.
Again, personally, by the time I finish work for a day, I have had enough of fractured "divide and conquer" workgroups, so I sure as hell don't enjoy giving up large proportions my own personal time and money here, just to endure the same old shit.
Now, wrt to jokes, I like a joke as much as the next man. BUT, with this heightened sense of dysfunction on here, coupled with the fact that somebody is always the brunt of a joke, I would be inclined to try to think who you could upset before posting. :y In addition to that, in nearly 4 years of OOF, the number of original jokes I have read on OOF probably don't reach double figures. All the other thousands are tired, old jokes that may have been amusing the first time around, but we've all heard them so many times before, they have become tedious :-? .
Excuse me for commenting but as i post quite a few jokes here i have yet to upset ANYONE & mostly amuse people even those who have heard it before but are kind enough to laugh then tell me it's an old one! ::)
Please remember the old adage - 'the old ones are usually the best ones' and that includes me!! :D :D
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short story based on the observance of life ::)
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/travellers-jailed-over-caravan-thefts-1918158.html
switch to decaf an keep the jokes coming :)
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short story based on the observance of life ::)
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/travellers-jailed-over-caravan-thefts-1918158.html
switch to decaf an keep the jokes coming :)
"Detective Inspector Matt Davey, from Wiltshire Police, revealed at the end of the trial officials from the insurance industry reported a 47 per cent drop in national caravan thefts following the gang's arrest."
Crikey, they were prolific! :o :o :o
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Here we go again!! ::) ::) ::) ::)
This is getting tedious I am afraid guys :( :( :(
When I first joined the OOF two years ago there was not this constant questioning of what was right or wrong, as instead we just used to post and have a great laugh ;) ;)
Sorry if i offended you then lizzie no more jokes from me :-X
i don't think Liz was having a go at you :y
No I wasn't rest assured :y :y.
I am just sounding off generally on this constant questioning of everything being posted and over analysis of subject matter. I didn't add anything to the "Chinese Takeaway" thread as I think enough was already stated, although for me an essential 'fact' was not covered:
As I have stated before two years ago we used to post, yes remembering normal decencies of decorum, and just have a good laugh with fellow OOF's.
Now the OOF has got so big there is no 'special family feel' anymore, as I have witnessed in the commercial field when a company becomes 'international' instead of that small 'everyone knows each other' outfit it was before.
I, and I get the impression many others, have a fear of posting on very reasonable threads in case they attract personal derision, plain rudeness, bad language, have suggested we are below average intelligence, or are just told bluntly "this thread should not have been started" because they do not agree with the political or any other content. Where has the "sorry but I don't agree with that..........because of x, y, z," gone??????
We used to question each other and have a good laugh! In fact it could be funny when you were proved wrong!! :D :D :D
Now though we are constantly under attack when we post :o :o
This is a great shame :'( :'(
As indeed when you were wrong, well almost, with my Ford Consul / Sweeny post........ :D :D :D :-X
-
short story based on the observance of life ::)
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/travellers-jailed-over-caravan-thefts-1918158.html
switch to decaf an keep the jokes coming :)
"Detective Inspector Matt Davey, from Wiltshire Police, revealed at the end of the trial officials from the insurance industry reported a 47 per cent drop in national caravan thefts following the gang's arrest."
Crikey, they were prolific! :o :o :o
round of applause? then again..they did sell em on again ::)
-
short story based on the observance of life ::)
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/travellers-jailed-over-caravan-thefts-1918158.html
switch to decaf an keep the jokes coming :)
"Detective Inspector Matt Davey, from Wiltshire Police, revealed at the end of the trial officials from the insurance industry reported a 47 per cent drop in national caravan thefts following the gang's arrest."
Crikey, they were prolific! :o :o :o
round of applause? then again..they did sell em on again ::)
Which brings us back nicely to my cracking joke about the pickeys .....................!!!!!!!!!!!! :y ;) :D :D :D
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no comment ::)
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no comment ::)
See you've sobberd up matey ::). hows the new motor. :y
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no comment ::)
See you've sobberd up matey ::). hows the new motor. :y
aye id just had enough of things and the bickering on here lately pushed me over :-[
the new motors great..a few jobs to do but its nice to be high up again
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no comment ::)
See you've sobberd up matey ::). hows the new motor. :y
Looks like you've had a shandy or two.....as well.. ;) ;)
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no comment ::)
Welcome back Herc :y
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no comment ::)
Welcome back Herc :y
:y