Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: jyr001 on 17 September 2010, 16:05:45
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The SAS, the Parachute Regiment and the Police decide to go on a survival weekend together to see who comes out on top.
After some basic exercises the trainer tells them that their
next objective is to go down into the woods and catch a rabbit for their supper, returning with it ready to skin and cook.
Night falls.
First up - the SAS. They don infrared goggles, drop to the
ground and crawl into the woods in formation. Absolute silence for 5 minutes, followed by the unmistakable muffled "phut-phut" of their trademark silenced "double-tap". They emerge with a large rabbit shot cleanly between the eyes.
"Excellent!" remarks the trainer.
Next up - the Para's. They finish their cans of lager, smear
themselves with camouflage cream, fix bayonets and charge down into the woods, screaming at the top of their lungs. For the next hour the woods ring with the sound of rifle and machine-gun fire, hand grenades, mortar bombs and blood curdling war cries. Eventually they emerge,
carrying the charred remains of a rabbit.
"A bit messy, but you achieved the aim; well done", says the trainer.
Lastly, in go the coppers, walking slowly, hands behind backs whistling Dixon of Dock Green. For the next few hours, the silence is only broken by the occasional crackle of a walkie-talkie "Sierra Lima Whisky Tango Fanta One, suspect headed straight for you..." etc.
After what seems an eternity, they emerge escorting a squirrel in handcuffs.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" asks the incredulous trainer, "Take this squirrel back and get me a rabbit like I asked you five hours ago!".
So back they go. Minutes pass. Minutes turn to hours, night drags on and turns to day.
The next morning, the trainer and the other teams are awakened by the police, holding the handcuffed squirrel, now covered in bruises, one eye nearly shut. "Are you taking the p*ss!!??" asks the now seriously irate trainer.
The police team leader nudges the squirrel, who squeaks:
"Alright, alright, I'm a f*ckin' rabbit!"
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So true.
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Sorry, I do not want to appear too serious about "the joke", but I am concerned you could be suggesting the police beat the **** out of a suspect to get a confession.
Maybe before PACE that, just maybe, did happen but not now! ::) ::) ::) ::) ::)
A joke is a joke, but when it suggests what that does about the police then, I think, that is wrong. Just my opinion though! ::) ::) ;)
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So true.
Can you fill me in with a bit more detail there Alfie?
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So true.
Can you fill me in with a bit more detail there Alfie?
Yes Zulu I am interested to know that ;) ;)
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Was that one aimed at me BV?
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?
I frequently do in certain cases BV.
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?
I frequently do in certain cases BV.
Phew, thought for a minute it might be a guilty conscience ;D
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It's interesting to note that you seem agrieved about the slight slur on the conduct of the police (it was intended as a "joke" after all) but don't appear to have any problem with the fact that the SAS put one between the eyes of a defenceless rabbit or that the paras beat the Cr*p out of it. If the animal defence league start to join the comments then I suggest that one of the Moderators pulls this and I'll only post politically correct jokes in future. Your reply is (almost) funnier than the joke but I sincerely apologise if you found this offensive :o
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?
I frequently do in certain cases BV.
Phew, thought for a minute it might be a guilty conscience ;D
Over what BV?
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Very Good!! ;D ;D
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?
I frequently do in certain cases BV.
Phew, thought for a minute it might be a guilty conscience ;D
Over what BV?
I'm not saying anything else without my solictor present ::)
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?
I frequently do in certain cases BV.
Phew, thought for a minute it might be a guilty conscience ;D
Over what BV?
I'm not saying anything else without my solictor present ::)
Fair enough :y
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?
I frequently do in certain cases BV.
Phew, thought for a minute it might be a guilty conscience ;D
Over what BV?
I'm not saying anything else without my solictor present ::)
Fair enough :y
Can I go now?
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?
I frequently do in certain cases BV.
Phew, thought for a minute it might be a guilty conscience ;D
Over what BV?
I'm not saying anything else without my solictor present ::)
Fair enough :y
Can I go now?
Certainly Sir, Enjoy your evening. :y
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Just to be pedantic ,since when could a squirrel talk?
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;D ;D ;D ;D :y
for my country thats exactly true..
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well i thought it was quite good ;D :y
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Was that one aimed at me BV?
Are you having a sense of humour failure?
I frequently do in certain cases BV.
Phew, thought for a minute it might be a guilty conscience ;D
Over what BV?
I'm not saying anything else without my solictor present ::)
That give me a giggle ;D ;D
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Filth are the joke...big brave men who hide behind a uniform.
I have no time for them.... >:(
And lizzie i take it youve never had two (i must be hard as i wear a uniform) coppers accidently fall on you despite being cuffed....believe me 98% of the population just aint got a clue sweety.
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Just to be pedantic ,since when could a squirrel talk?
Since the filth beat the crap out of it..... :y
Not that they do that...no...and irish navies dont like a beer or swear... ;D
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Filth are the joke...big brave men who hide behind a uniform.
I have no time for them.... >:(
And lizzie i take it youve never had two (i must be hard as i wear a uniform) coppers accidently fall on you despite being cuffed....believe me 98% of the population just aint got a clue sweety.
Since you are new, I think you ought to know that there are both current and past police officers who frequent this forum. Their input is much appreciated, as too is the difficult job that they do/have done. In every walk of life, there are a few who do not meet the standards expected, that is a fact which is accepted. However, the vast majority pursue a stressful task, made more difficult by the constantly changing edicts of the political class.
Your post suggests you are ignorant of the tough job they do, and your use of the term "filth" is not conducive to maintenance of the friendly community we have on here. I suggest you reconsider and apologise to any forum folk who may have taken offence to such remarks. >:( >:( >:(
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Filth are the joke...big brave men who hide behind a uniform.
I have no time for them.... >:(
And lizzie i take it youve never had two (i must be hard as i wear a uniform) coppers accidently fall on you despite being cuffed....believe me 98% of the population just aint got a clue sweety.
Since you are new, I think you ought to know that there are both current and past police officers who frequent this forum. Their input is much appreciated, as too is the difficult job that they do/have done. In every walk of life, there are a few who do not meet the standards expected, that is a fact which is accepted. However, the vast majority pursue a stressful task, made more difficult by the constantly changing edicts of the political class.
Your post suggests you are ignorant of the tough job they do, and your use of the term "filth" is not conducive to maintenance of the friendly community we have on here. I suggest you reconsider and apologise to any forum folk who may have taken offence to such remarks. >:( >:( >:(
Who the opps are you too lecture me....
I speak how i find and 'dangle berries' just becuase im new doesnt mean i"ll sit in a corner and agree.
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Filth are the joke...big brave men who hide behind a uniform.
I have no time for them.... >:(
And lizzie i take it youve never had two (i must be hard as i wear a uniform) coppers accidently fall on you despite being cuffed....believe me 98% of the population just aint got a clue sweety.
Since you are new, I think you ought to know that there are both current and past police officers who frequent this forum. Their input is much appreciated, as too is the difficult job that they do/have done. In every walk of life, there are a few who do not meet the standards expected, that is a fact which is accepted. However, the vast majority pursue a stressful task, made more difficult by the constantly changing edicts of the political class.
Your post suggests you are ignorant of the tough job they do, and your use of the term "filth" is not conducive to maintenance of the friendly community we have on here. I suggest you reconsider and apologise to any forum folk who may have taken offence to such remarks. >:( >:( >:(
Who the blank are you too lecture me....
I speak how i find and 'dangle berries' just becuase im new doesnt mean i"ll sit in a corner and agree.
I'm not lecturing you - merely pointing out that you may be offending people on here.
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Filth are the joke...big brave men who hide behind a uniform.
I have no time for them.... >:(
And lizzie i take it youve never had two (i must be hard as i wear a uniform) coppers accidently fall on you despite being cuffed....believe me 98% of the population just aint got a clue sweety.
Since you are new, I think you ought to know that there are both current and past police officers who frequent this forum. Their input is much appreciated, as too is the difficult job that they do/have done. In every walk of life, there are a few who do not meet the standards expected, that is a fact which is accepted. However, the vast majority pursue a stressful task, made more difficult by the constantly changing edicts of the political class.
Your post suggests you are ignorant of the tough job they do, and your use of the term "filth" is not conducive to maintenance of the friendly community we have on here. I suggest you reconsider and apologise to any forum folk who may have taken offence to such remarks. >:( >:( >:(
Who the blank are you too lecture me....
I speak how i find and 'dangle berries' just becuase im new doesnt mean i"ll sit in a corner and agree.
I'm not lecturing you - merely pointing out that you may be offending people on here.
I offend myself....but you learn too live with it.
Bit like a crippled wilted right arm...its of no use but in time you learn too except it.
But as my nan said before being shot by the ARV ""ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"" lol....no she said ""Life's like a box of chocolate...and your diabetic"".
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I thought it was funny albeit tongue in cheek... the para bit was very very accurate ;D ;D ;D
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Filth are the joke...big brave men who hide behind a uniform.
I have no time for them.... >:(
And lizzie i take it youve never had two (i must be hard as i wear a uniform) coppers accidently fall on you despite being cuffed....believe me 98% of the population just aint got a clue sweety.
Well as I often work alongside the Police, and are a member on a case audit panel for the CPS, I do know far more than a lot may think. Believe me I have seen the need for officers to fall on certain suspects due to the latters threatening and offensive behaviour, needing full restraint ;)
As for the insulting words you have used we do not neen them on this forum.
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Filth are the joke...big brave men who hide behind a uniform.
I have no time for them.... >:(
And lizzie i take it youve never had two (i must be hard as i wear a uniform) coppers accidently fall on you despite being cuffed....believe me 98% of the population just aint got a clue sweety.
Since you are new, I think you ought to know that there are both current and past police officers who frequent this forum. Their input is much appreciated, as too is the difficult job that they do/have done. In every walk of life, there are a few who do not meet the standards expected, that is a fact which is accepted. However, the vast majority pursue a stressful task, made more difficult by the constantly changing edicts of the political class.
Your post suggests you are ignorant of the tough job they do, and your use of the term "filth" is not conducive to maintenance of the friendly community we have on here. I suggest you reconsider and apologise to any forum folk who may have taken offence to such remarks. >:( >:( >:(
Well stated Nick! :y :y :y
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Blimey what have I done. The joke was intended as a light hearted post and was not meant to offend. I would like to think that we have a good sense of humour in this country and have the ability to laugh at ourselves once in a while. I note that most of the postees have not taken offence and I am sure that there are a number of members of the constabulary (both current and ex) that have taken the joke in the spirit in which it was posted. If anyone wishes to post a joke about "Construction Engineers" I promise I will not be offended.
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The filth never could take a joke ::)
Filth are the joke...big brave men who hide behind a uniform.
I have no time for them.... >:(
And lizzie i take it youve never had two (i must be hard as i wear a uniform) coppers accidently fall on you despite being cuffed....believe me 98% of the population just aint got a clue sweety.
Since you are new, I think you ought to know that there are both current and past police officers who frequent this forum. Their input is much appreciated, as too is the difficult job that they do/have done. In every walk of life, there are a few who do not meet the standards expected, that is a fact which is accepted. However, the vast majority pursue a stressful task, made more difficult by the constantly changing edicts of the political class.
Your post suggests you are ignorant of the tough job they do, and your use of the term "filth" is not conducive to maintenance of the friendly community we have on here. I suggest you reconsider and apologise to any forum folk who may have taken offence to such remarks. >:( >:( >:(
Who the blank are you too lecture me....
I speak how i find and 'dangle berries' just becuase im new doesnt mean i"ll sit in a corner and agree.
I'm not lecturing you - merely pointing out that you may be offending people on here.
lend us 50 quid till the end of the month mate ::)
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Sorry to the OP, it was a joke, and should be treated as such.
Yes jokes often have a bit of truth behind them (we all know that has gone on in the past) But this is just getting beyond a joke now.
lighten up a degree folks and take things as they were obviously intended.
think this has run its course and is serving no useful purpose.