Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: PhilRich on 25 September 2010, 21:07:19
-
One day a Viking named Leif returns from a long sea voyage and finds his name has been removed from the Town Register. So he sends his wife down to the Town Hall to complain to the Mayor.
"i'm really sorry", said the Mayor, " It appears i' ve taken leif off my census!" ;D
-
There are bad jokes and then........ ;)
-
Very good ;D ;D ;D :y :y
-
There are bad jokes and then........ ;)
You're just jealous 'cos i'm really sad & you're only pretending to be! ;D ;)
-
I'm sorry, i couldn't even manage a smirk ::) ::) :-[
-
Very good ;D ;D ;D :y :y
Oh please don't encourage him :(
-
Oh dear.... ::) ::) :)
-
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> CLOAKROOM
-
Very good ;D ;D ;D :y :y
Oh please don't encourage him :([/quoteI a
I feel that Phil's effort should be rewarded.........bless him, he does try ;D
-
Very good ;D ;D ;D :y :y
Oh please don't encourage him :([/quoteI a
I feel that Phil's effort should be rewarded.........bless him, he does try ;D
No he doesn't :P
-
One day a Viking named Leif returns from a long sea voyage and finds his name has been removed from the Town Register. So he sends his wife down to the Town Hall to complain to the Mayor.
"i'm really sorry", said the Mayor, " It appears i' ve taken leif off my census!" ;D
Yes, he saddled up his Norse and rode off. :y :y
-
Right, since you all insist ;D
Two little old ladies were walking through the park one Sunday afternoon. The band was playing a catchy little tune & one of the old girls said, " I wonder what that tune's called?" The other one, spotting a notice on a nearby post said, "It looks like they put up a list of their repertoire, i'll go and have a look".
A little later she returns & says, "Its the Refrain from Spitting, dear".
:y
-
D- and an "asterix" in the margin. please try harder.
-
Oh please Phil stop it now, i'm losing the will to live :( :'(
-
Just for you Phil ;D
TRUISMS
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appears bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
When in doubt, mumble.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
-
Phil you are making a 'Monkey' out of the reputation of the North East..... :D :D :D
-
Right, since you all insist ;D
Two little old ladies were walking through the park one Sunday afternoon. The band was playing a catchy little tune & one of the old girls said, " I wonder what that tune's called?" The other one, spotting a notice on a nearby post said, "It looks like they put up a list of their repertoire, i'll go and have a look".
A little later she returns & says, "Its the Refrain from Spitting, dear".
:y
A charming little spitt toon. :y
-
Sigh!...mutter....bloody hard lot to please this...mutter
Zulu was sitting in his traffic car out in the sticks, when he spotted his old & recently demoted Super, coming towards him. " Hello Broocie, what you doing here?" he said. "I'm here to relieve you Zulu mate", said Broocie.
"Blimey, what was it you did to deserve this beat?" said Zulu.
"It was because I arrested that Judge after the Force Fancy Dress Ball!". "I mean how was I to know the Convict suit was Fancy Dress?", moaned Broocie.
"Ahhh", said Zulu, "There must be a lesson in there somewhere!"
"You're not bleedin' kidding mate!", said Broocie, "Never book a Judge by his Cover!"
;D
-
Phil you are making a 'Monkey' out of the reputation of the North East..... :D :D :D
(monkey) Nuts to you! ;D
-
Just for you Phil ;D
TRUISMS
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appears bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
When in doubt, mumble.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Sage words, you obviously know your onions, but you'll end up getting the stuffing knocked out of you on here by this lot anyway! :( ;) :D
-
Sage words, you obviously know your onions, but you'll end up getting the stuffing knocked out of you on here by this lot anyway! :( ;) :D
Quite correct Phil, - although it doesn't oven happen, something's being cooked up at the moment.
-
Sigh!...mutter....bloody hard lot to please this...mutter
Zulu was sitting in his traffic car out in the sticks, when he spotted his old & recently demoted Super, coming towards him. " Hello Broocie, what you doing here?" he said. "I'm here to relieve you Zulu mate", said Broocie.
"Blimey, what was it you did to deserve this beat?" said Zulu.
"It was because I arrested that Judge after the Force Fancy Dress Ball!". "I mean how was I to know the Convict suit was Fancy Dress?", moaned Broocie.
"Ahhh", said Zulu, "There must be a lesson in there somewhere!"
"You're not bleedin' kidding mate!", said Broocie, "Never book a Judge by his Cover!"
;D
I did tell H21 that he was courting disaster by doing this.
-
re the viking joke. taxi 4 one lol
-
Just for you Phil ;D
TRUISMS
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
We live in a society where pizza gets to your house before the police.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appears bright until you hear them speak.
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly, and for the same reason.
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Crowded elevators smell different to midgets.
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.
Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
When in doubt, mumble.
Worrying works! 90% of the things I worry about never happen.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Sage words, you obviously know your onions, but you'll end up getting the stuffing knocked out of you on here by this lot anyway! :( ;) :D
Some good ones on there.... :y I particularly think the worry one suits me perfectly.... ::) ::) ::)
-
re the viking joke. taxi 4 one lol
As long as it isn't a fjord. :y :y
-
Oh, God...
-
Oh, God...
I need you to remain strong JC. :y :y
-
Oh, God...
I need you to remain strong JC. :y :y
It's difficult sometimes Zulu, really difficult ;D