Omega Owners Forum

Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: dbug on 08 November 2010, 22:50:29

Title: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: dbug on 08 November 2010, 22:50:29

A New Zealand man buys several sheep, hoping to breed them for wool.
After several weeks, he notices that none of the sheep are getting pregnant, and phones a vet for help.
The vet tells him that he should try artificial insemination.
The farmer doesn't have the slightest idea what this means but, not wanting to display his ignorance, only asks the vet how he will know when the sheep are pregnant.
The vet tells him that they will stop standing around and instead will lie down and wallow in grass when they are pregnant.
The man hangs up and gives it some thought. He comes to the conclusion that artificial insemination means he has to impregnate the sheep himself.
So, he loads the sheep into his Land Rover, drives them out into the woods, has sex with them all, brings them back, and goes to bed.
Next morning, he wakes and looks out at the sheep. Seeing that they are all still standing around, he deduces that the first try didn't take, and loads them in the Land Rover again.
He drives them out to the woods, bangs each sheep twice for good measure, brings them back, and goes to bed exhausted.

Next morning, he wakes to find the sheep still just standing round.
Try again.. he tells himself, and proceeds to load them up, and drive them out to the woods. He spends all day shagging the sheep and upon returning home, falls listlessly into bed.
The next morning, he cannot even raise himself from the bed to look out of the window.
He asks his wife to look, and tell him if the sheep are lying in the grass.

No, she says, they're all in the Land Rover, and one of them is beeping the horn.  :o :o :)

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: Vamps on 08 November 2010, 22:57:30

Some of these old jokes stand the passing of time well....... ;D ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: dbug on 08 November 2010, 23:19:50

Quote

Some of these old jokes stand the passing of time well....... ;D ;D ;D :y

Yep Mike - also heard this a few years back - but it just tickled a nerve again ;)

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: mrgreen on 08 November 2010, 23:41:52

well i'm a kiwi but anyway.... ;D :y

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: cem_devecioglu on 09 November 2010, 10:36:36

 ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: turboteeth on 09 November 2010, 10:45:21

not heard that one before  :-[
but was well funny  :y

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: aaronjb on 09 November 2010, 11:06:52

 ;D ;D Ohh stop it.. I'm getting funny looks at work, now.. ;D ;D

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: maria on 09 November 2010, 11:36:34

Good one ;D ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: jonnycool on 09 November 2010, 12:19:53

Excellent  ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: Richie London on 09 November 2010, 12:23:38

i was hoping dbug was organising a meet when i see this thread  ::) ;D ;D

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: Debs. on 09 November 2010, 13:08:45

Must`ve been a 110".....`you`d never get several sheep in a Series Landy! ;D


.........trust me: I`ve tried! ::)

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: wingman on 09 November 2010, 15:12:38

But were they the pretty ones he tried to impregnate?

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: henryd on 09 November 2010, 15:17:51

good one ;D ;D :y

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: aaronjb on 09 November 2010, 15:57:51

This reminds me...

After driving the 'EVO triangle' in Wales the other weekend, we all park up in a little layby beside a field full of sheep.

Spray painted on the back of the road sign is my name, Aaron, in big letters.


I swear to god I've never been there before, I did nothing to those sheep, but nobody believed me.. ;D ;D ;D

Title: Re: Sheep Sh*g*in*
Post by: waspy on 09 November 2010, 17:20:22

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D

Old, but a good un :y