Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Mysteryman on 17 January 2011, 10:45:25
-
I have been suffering from piles recently and bought a tube of ointment (germaloids) to help with the problem. Now I can't be bothered with the little plastic tube that you shove up your bottie to apply the medication, it takes ages to clean out afterwards. I just place some on the end of my index finger and wang it up.
I followed the instuctions and applied after every bowel movement and they cleared up nicely. However, I wanted to make sure they were gone, so I continued with the treatment for another week.
I found myself poking my finger up my rectum more and more regularly and going a bit further up each time. I am now using a large tube of ointment each day and this morning I managed to get three fingers in, right up to the knuckles. Mmmmmmm, just thinking about it makes me......
Erm...should I seek help?
-
.....the time to really worry is when you begin to want someone else to do it
with for you! ;D
-
I have been suffering from piles recently and bought a tube of ointment (germaloids) to help with the problem. Now I can't be bothered with the little plastic tube that you shove up your bottie to apply the medication, it takes ages to clean out afterwards. I just place some on the end of my index finger and wang it up.
I followed the instuctions and applied after every bowel movement and they cleared up nicely. However, I wanted to make sure they were gone, so I continued with the treatment for another week.
I found myself poking my finger up my rectum more and more regularly and going a bit further up each time. I am now using a large tube of ointment each day and this morning I managed to get three fingers in, right up to the knuckles. Mmmmmmm, just thinking about it makes me......
Erm...should I seek help?
seems normal to me ;)
-
Nah, mate.......
seems like a complete pain in the arse, and I would stop it if I were you.
However, as you seem to be enjoying it, and it takes all sorts........... ::)
-
;D
:-/
no curries,
no beer -actually nothing with alcohol (makes you a good candidate for being muslim ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y )
and lots of regular walking ..
immerse your half body in hot(really hot) water, it will increase the blood flow and relax the muscles..
I frequently suffer from that .. :(
-
try a couple of litres of picolax, you wont put your fingers near it for days ;D ;D ;D
-
I know you're from the North Mr Steve ::) ::)......but just for a novelty try eating some fruit and vegetables.....This should keep you nice and regular... A diet of deep fried Mars bars is not good for bowel movements.... ;) :P :P :P::) ::) ::)
-
fruit and vegetables
;) Steve, they`re the brightly coloured 'growy' things near the door at Morrisons.....you must`ve seen them; on your way to the pie aisle!?! :P
-
Thank you for all your advice, but I think I'll go for the whole hand before the weekend. Have a good root around in there and see if I can pull out a plum on my thumb. :y
-
fruit and vegetables
;) Steve, they`re the brightly coloured 'growy' things near the door at Morrisons.....you must`ve seen them; on your way to the pie aisle!?! :P
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, Debs. Besides, I've tried eating flowers, don't like 'em. :(
-
Why not go to your doctor for a prostate test Steve, the doctor will shove his fingers up there and save you the bother!! ;D
-
Might be worth having a search and seeing what is available. :y
Putting things in bum or something like that.
Or prostate and whatever.
No I have not typed these in - too scared at what might come up :o :o ;D ;D
-
Sometimes a prostate examination can have unintended consequences;
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xHKTE75dgE4&feature=related[/media]
-
Thank you for all your advice, but I think I'll go for the whole hand before the weekend. Have a good root around in there and see if I can pull out a plum on my thumb. :y
Perhaps a friendly neighbourhood constable would be willing to help?
[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oqolwZoj8RA&feature=related[/media]
-
I hate it when you go for an appointment and the guy tells you to drop your trousers while he puts a rubber glove on.
I really must change my dentist... ;)
-
I hate it when you go for an appointment and the guy tells you to drop your trousers while he puts a rubber glove on.
I really must change my dentist... ;)
;D ;D :y
-
You'll be telling us you've been applying the ointment with a rabbit next Steve ;D ;D
-
You'll be telling us you've been applying the ointment with a rabbit next Steve ;D ;D
Hmmmmm....... ::)
-
I hate it when you go for an appointment and the guy tells you to drop your trousers while he puts a rubber glove on.
I really must change my dentist... ;)
Oh I don't mind that in the least Nick - my dentist is a delightful young woman, MILF is the term I think they use nowadays. :-* :-* :y
It's always satisfying to experience the warmth of her teats on my arm as she leans across to do her work. 8-)
-
You'll be telling us you've been applying the ointment with a rabbit next Steve ;D ;D
`Works for me! ;D
-
You'll be telling us you've been applying the ointment with a rabbit next Steve ;D ;D
`Works for me! ;D
How does one hold the rabbit still for long enough to annoint it?
-
You do have to be careful when applying these unctions, Steve....I know someone whom when groping about the darkened-bathroom`s cabinet for some Germaloids; pulled out and applied some Deep-Heat instead. :o
.......he wont be doing that again! ::)
-
You'll be telling us you've been applying the ointment with a rabbit next Steve ;D ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D
-
You'll be telling us you've been applying the ointment with a rabbit next Steve ;D ;D
I wouldn't bother it make a hell of a mess of there fur, and the little b*ggers have got a nasty bite!
-
STM, can i suggest you don't make this your first topic of conversation if you get a date with a female!! hahahaha
:D :D :D
-
Steve, I saw the number of a 'burly man' who sounded like he'd be more than happy to 'apply' your ointment for you, on the toilet wall in work :y
-
If you do manage to get the whole hand up Steve may i suggest you leave it there as a plug....save you posting so much shoot on here? :D
-
STM, can i suggest you don't make this your first topic of conversation if you< >get a date with a female!! hahahaha
:D :D :D
:P I have indicated in yellow, where the missing word "ever" should be inserted! ;D
-
careful....... you said the word insert! murhahahahaha
-
Sorry I haven't been able to post this afternoon, I've been busy upstairs. ;D
-
Sorry I haven't been able to post this afternoon, I've been busy upstairs. ;D
:P We`d all like to say we`ve had a hand in your recovery! ::)
-
Sorry I haven't been able to post this afternoon, I've been busy upstairs. ;D
:P We`d all like to say we`ve had a hand in your recovery! ::)
Speak for yourself Debs :o
-
Enough already. I'll be getting a bad name and, perhaps, a visit from Daz. :o
-
hahahahaha grim!
-
Enough already. I'll be getting a bad name and, perhaps, a visit from Daz. :o
.....if you don`t hurry up and get your finger out! ;D
-
Enough already. I'll be getting a bad name and, perhaps, a visit from Daz. :o
.....if you don`t hurry up and get your finger out! ;D
I'm too far gone now Debs. Fingers just don't do it anymore. ;D
-
Enough already. I'll be getting a bad name and, perhaps, a visit from Daz. :o
.....if you don`t hurry up and get your finger out! ;D
I'm too far gone now Debs. Fingers just don't do it anymore. ;D
Armageddon!
(For about 1% of people here that will be hilariously funny..)
-
Enough already. I'll be getting a bad name and, perhaps, a visit from Daz. :o
.....if you don`t hurry up and get your finger out! ;D
I'm too far gone now Debs. Fingers just don't do it anymore. ;D
Armageddon!
(For about 1% of people here that will be hilariously funny..)
And for those who don't NWS but very funny linky (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTrOb8zyrZk) ;D ;D
-
And for those who don't NWS but very funny linky (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTrOb8zyrZk) ;D ;D
;D Genius!!!!!.......Hahahahahaha! ;D
-
Screams of "Armageddon Armageddon" from the Wakefield area before long, no doubt.
-
Screams of "Armageddon Armageddon" from the Wakefield area before long, no doubt.
Quiet Ozzie...or it's up the cardboard tube for you, boy. ;D
-
Enough already. I'll be getting a bad name and, perhaps, a visit from Daz. :o
.....if you don`t hurry up and get your finger out! ;D
I'm too far gone now Debs. Fingers just don't do it anymore. ;D
Armageddon!
(For about 1% of people here that will be hilariously funny..)
And for those who don't NWS but very funny linky (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTrOb8zyrZk) ;D ;D
I've watched that three times and the tears are rolling down my cheeks ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
-
fruit and vegetables
;) Steve, they`re the brightly coloured 'growy' things near the door at Morrisons.....you must`ve seen them; on your way to the pie aisle!?! :P
Is that the fruit 'n' veg or the haemorrhoids ? ::)
-
Enough already. I'll be getting a bad name and, perhaps, a visit from Daz. :o
.....if you don`t hurry up and get your finger out! ;D
I'm too far gone now Debs. Fingers just don't do it anymore. ;D
Armageddon!
(For about 1% of people here that will be hilariously funny..)
And for those who don't NWS but very funny linky (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTrOb8zyrZk) ;D ;D
I've watched that three times and the tears are rolling down my cheeks ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
But which cheeks? :o :o
-
Enough already. I'll be getting a bad name and, perhaps, a visit from Daz. :o
.....if you don`t hurry up and get your finger out! ;D
I'm too far gone now Debs. Fingers just don't do it anymore. ;D
Armageddon!
(For about 1% of people here that will be hilariously funny..)
And for those who don't NWS but very funny linky (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTrOb8zyrZk) ;D ;D
I've watched that three times and the tears are rolling down my cheeks ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
But which cheeks? :o :o
Beat me to it!
-
Enough already. I'll be getting a bad name and, perhaps, a visit from Daz. :o
.....if you don`t hurry up and get your finger out! ;D
I'm too far gone now Debs. Fingers just don't do it anymore. ;D
Armageddon!
(For about 1% of people here that will be hilariously funny..)
And for those who don't NWS but very funny linky (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cTrOb8zyrZk) ;D ;D
I've watched that three times and the tears are rolling down my cheeks ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
[/highlight]
I see what you meen Steve ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D