Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Amigo on 10 February 2011, 20:33:49
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It's been a week now & i just don't like driving the truck any more. Although no one was hurt i can't get over the fact i could kill someone so easily, i don't want to be responsible for that. After each day i can't wait to jump out of the poxy thing & glad i hav'nt hurt anyone...i dread getting back in it again. I'm so nervous now i'm more of a risk than before. You see /hear horror stories about trucks hitting cars & killing people. It's really shaken me up & i don't want to do it anymore.
A mate runs a busy cab firm & i'm tempted to go self employed, yes i have a good accountant & can afford to buy & insure a car, medical /police check etc.
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It's been a week now & i just don't like driving the truck any more. Although no one was hurt i can't get over the fact i could kill someone so easily, i don't want to be responsible for that. After each day i can't wait to jump out of the poxy thing & glad i hav'nt hurt anyone...i dread getting back in it again. I'm so nervous now i'm more of a risk than before. You see /hear horror stories about trucks hitting cars & killing people. It's really shaken me up & i don't want to do it anymore.
A mate runs a busy cab firm & i'm tempted to go self employed, yes i have a good accountant & can afford to buy & insure a car, medical /police check etc.
I will always advise people Guy to go with the heart, and let the brain work out how ;) ;) ;) ;)
If you feel like that it is for a good reason, so go with the flow :y :y :y
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I inderstand how you are feeling but if you are too nervous to continue maybe ya gaffer could find you a yard job for a while
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Act in haste, regret at your leisure. Iirc Guy you loved your job until now.I think you need a bit more time to put this incident into perspective tbh. Maybe you can learn from it even though iirc it wasnt your fault ?
My advice, for what its worth, is to give it time. ;)
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Had a few driving heart stoppers of various types over the years Guy, so have an inkling of how you feel.
Ultimately, you do what you want to do. Sometimes it can be over analysed, thinking about the big 'what ifs' but, as you have seen, it was a swap of paint and dents, nothing more.
In some respects, if you look back at your banger days and the knocks and injuries that some caught, would you do it now? I would bet, possibly not.
New day, new challenges mate.... ;)
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Guy, don't make any rush decisions... If you let every "What if" play on your mind you wouldn't leave the house ;)
I remember attending the scene of an RTA when doing recovery... Nothing serious but at the front of the queue was my motorbike instructor who gave me a toot and thumbs up. The police officer on the scene asked how I knew him and I told him it was my instructor and I was doing my test next week.
His response was "After the fatal accident you attended yesterday?", which was particularly nasty and is still deeply embedded in my mind.
My response... "But you could say the same about walking after the fatality we attended 3 weeks ago", again a rather nasty pedestrian Vs Rover 800 incident.
You'll still be driving for a living mate... Still have higher than average odds of an incident...
Think long term mate... How many years have you been driving HGVs? And how many times have you had a bump?
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The banger racing was MUCH harder & full on. Difference is we went out looking for it on the track. On the road we all want to avoid it.
I'm going to work tomorrow & won't make any rash decisions but after all these years i'm uneasy in the truck now. We'll see how it goes but i've never felt like this before, i'm on edge all the time, can't be safe.
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Guy, don't make any rush decisions... If you let every "What if" play on your mind you wouldn't leave the house ;)
I remember attending the scene of an RTA when doing recovery... Nothing serious but at the front of the queue was my motorbike instructor who gave me a toot and thumbs up. The police officer on the scene asked how I knew him and I told him it was my instructor and I was doing my test next week.
His response was "After the fatal accident you attended yesterday?", which was particularly nasty and is still deeply embedded in my mind.
My response... "But you could say the same about walking after the fatality we attended 3 weeks ago", again a rather nasty pedestrian Vs Rover 800 incident.
You'll still be driving for a living mate... Still have higher than average odds of an incident...
Think long term mate... How many years have you been driving HGVs? And how many times have you had a bump?
I see everything you're saying Paul but you attended your accident, regardless of fault i was involved in mine & was close to killing some one hence "doing it" not attending it.
I don't want to be responsible for that & i don't want to climb in my cab tomorrow.
I just see it happening again over & over.
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amigo, accidents are inevitable either this way or that way.. which one do you prefer to be in when something happens car or truck ;D :y
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Guy, don't make any rush decisions... If you let every "What if" play on your mind you wouldn't leave the house ;)
I remember attending the scene of an RTA when doing recovery... Nothing serious but at the front of the queue was my motorbike instructor who gave me a toot and thumbs up. The police officer on the scene asked how I knew him and I told him it was my instructor and I was doing my test next week.
His response was "After the fatal accident you attended yesterday?", which was particularly nasty and is still deeply embedded in my mind.
My response... "But you could say the same about walking after the fatality we attended 3 weeks ago", again a rather nasty pedestrian Vs Rover 800 incident.
You'll still be driving for a living mate... Still have higher than average odds of an incident...
Think long term mate... How many years have you been driving HGVs? And how many times have you had a bump?
I see everything you're saying Paul but you attended your accident, regardless of fault i was involved in mine & was close to killing some one hence "doing it" not attending it.
I don't want to be responsible for that & i don't want to climb in my cab tomorrow.
I just see it happening again over & over.
Yep... I agree completely Guy. Was just a couple of "What if" moments.
At the end of the day, only you can decide. But I'm sure you'll feel better in time mate.
If you do decide that you've had enough and want to go down the Taxi route, remember that to earn your £450(?)/week you need to earn much more than that by the time you've allowed maintenance/rental/fuel/circuit charges ;)
Got a few mates who do Taxi work and, certainly around here, there just isn't enough work about at the moment :(
As someone else said... Any chance of the gaffer giving you some yard work/shunting for a week or 2? I know that's probably not easy for a relatively small firm but worth asking? Explain why... You never know ;) I know (from what you've said) that he'd be very sad to see you go ;)
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Strangely, Ive had 2 incidents similar to your story, both times it was drivers trying to shoot up the inside to get in front of the slow artic , both were frightening and the damage to the cars was horrendous, thankfully both drivers were ok although not happy when i gave them a verbal for tryng to kill themselves after they had mouthed off at me!!,
HOWEVER it plays on your mind for about ten days or so thenits slowly forgotten till the insurance company bring it all up again!! and then it fades again,
point is both times it made me more aware of the hidden dangers and a far more alert driver, especially when checking mirrors i always check twice now!! on my last assesment the instructor commented on how few drivers do what i do and complimented me afterwards,
If you like I have always driven class1, and always enjoyed the challenge, then give it a while mate use the nerves to make you a better driver, and keep on trucking :y
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Strangely, Ive had 2 incidents similar to your story, both times it was drivers trying to shoot up the inside to get in front of the slow artic , both were frightening and the damage to the cars was horrendous, thankfully both drivers were ok although not happy when i gave them a verbal for tryng to kill themselves after they had mouthed off at me!!,
HOWEVER it plays on your mind for about ten days or so thenits slowly forgotten till the insurance company bring it all up again!! and then it fades again,
point is both times it made me more aware of the hidden dangers and a far more alert driver, especially when checking mirrors i always check twice now!! on my last assesment the instructor commented on how few drivers do what i do and complimented me afterwards,
If you like I have always driven class1, and always enjoyed the challenge, then give it a while mate use the nerves to make you a better driver, and keep on trucking :y
Some very sound advice there... dont let one prats actions destroy you mate ;) :y
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Take a deep breath Guy, have a word with the gaffer, we are in charge of big dangerous vehicles and at risk more than most because of the miles we do but, these things happen, Don't give up on your passion, You will get over it and it will probably take a bit of time.
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Amigo Guy, you can just as easily kill someone in a minicab. Actually, possibly more likely if the truth be told due to the nature of the beast.
Do what you want to do, but its always struck me that you've always enjoyed what you did. Hopefully, you've had your only incident now.
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I want to get over it & enjoy the job again. It's only been a few days but i'm so on edge at the moment i feel i'm even more at risk of hurting someone else.
I hate to admit it but i'm scared of it happening again which makes me more of a liabilty. We'll see.
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It takes time, as Omegatoy says, about ten days before all the 'What if's' stop going around in your head. Just the human way of dealing with it i'm afraid. You'll be fine when everything stops going round in your head.
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I want to get over it & enjoy the job again. It's only been a few days but i'm so on edge at the moment i feel i'm even more at risk of hurting someone else.
I hate to admit it but i'm scared of it happening again which makes me more of a liabilty. We'll see.
Is it insensitive if I go for the more forceful route ::) ::) ::)
Don't be so soft you big daft ape :-X :-X :-X ;D ;D ;D Or I'll set Emma on you ;) ;)
Seriously though Guy, I do understand your doubts but really think you need to look at it from a different perspective...
You've been driving for years and never had such an incident... That is because you are safe and experienced ;) :y Step back and put it behind you :y
Oh... And Emma sends a big hug and chilled wipes to mop your brow :y
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I want to get over it & enjoy the job again. It's only been a few days but i'm so on edge at the moment i feel i'm even more at risk of hurting someone else.
I hate to admit it but i'm scared of it happening again which makes me more of a liabilty. We'll see.
There is NO harm in feeling scared mate.... after my accident I was the same didnt want to drive again but knew I had too. Ask yourself this Could you have done anything more to avoid the accident... by the sounds of it no so why keep blameing yourself for some other prats stupid actions
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I think incidents such as this can make you a better driver in the long run. It serves as a reminder not to become complacent, and just how easy it is to have an accident. Hopefully it will soon fade Guy and you can carry on, a better safer driver than you were before. :y
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Reading your original post the copper didn't see you as negligent or he'd have been looking at a due care charge so stop doubting yourself.
As for what if, what if she had used a bit more alertness and not gone up the inside of a trailer which was indicating?
Take it easy and stop beating yourself up about what didn't happen mate.
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The main thing is knowone was killed but you had a bad scare most of us hgv drivers have had them.
DON'T let the what if's ruin your love for the job your doing :y
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What you are feeling is totally normal, it is a typical reaction to a highly stressful occurance.
What matters now is how it is dealt with.
NOTE I did NOT say "how you deal with it".
Speak to your boss, your union, AND YOUR GP. Stress, and your reaction to it is a serious matter. You might need a short period off work, counselling may help .. I don't know because I don't know you, and I don't know your circumstances... but you do need the support of a trained professional .... not a bunch of well wishing amateurs.
What I do know is, worrying about it and trying to sort it on your own, or taking the macho "learn to live with it" line are both TOTALLY WRONG.
In my time in the military I saw far too many "macho" types end up in deep s**t, with all sorts of problems, because they refused to seek help. The earlier the problem is faced .. the easier the recovery... and your boss, as your "supervisor" has a major role to play.
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What you are feeling is totally normal, it is a typical reaction to a highly stressful occurance.
What matters now is how it is dealt with.
NOTE I did NOT say "how you deal with it".
Speak to your boss, your union, AND YOUR GP. Stress, and your reaction to it is a serious matter. You might need a short period off work, counselling may help .. I don't know because I don't know you, and I don't know your circumstances... but you do need the support of a trained professional .... not a bunch of well wishing amateurs.
What I do know is, worrying about it and trying to sort it on your own, or taking the macho "learn to live with it" line are both TOTALLY WRONG.
In my time in the military I saw far too many "macho" types end up in deep s**t, with all sorts of problems, because they refused to seek help. The earlier the problem is faced .. the easier the recovery... and your boss, as your "supervisor" has a major role to play.
Very true E! :y :y
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You lot are great & thanks. Early start & finish but easy day tomorrow, regular run. Then i've got the weekend away from the truck.
I know you're all talking sense but things don't usually phase me so i'm not used to feeling like this.
Get tomorrow out of the way & i'll see how i feel next week.
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What you are feeling is totally normal, it is a typical reaction to a highly stressful occurance.
What matters now is how it is dealt with.
NOTE I did NOT say "how you deal with it".
Speak to your boss, your union, AND YOUR GP. Stress, and your reaction to it is a serious matter. You might need a short period off work, counselling may help .. I don't know because I don't know you, and I don't know your circumstances... but you do need the support of a trained professional .... not a bunch of well wishing amateurs.
What I do know is, worrying about it and trying to sort it on your own, or taking the macho "learn to live with it" line are both TOTALLY WRONG.
In my time in the military I saw far too many "macho" types end up in deep s**t, with all sorts of problems, because they refused to seek help. The earlier the problem is faced .. the easier the recovery... and your boss, as your "supervisor" has a major role to play.
What absolute sense you speak :y :y
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You lot are great & thanks. Early start & finish but easy day tomorrow, regular run. Then i've got the weekend away from the truck.
I know you're all talking sense but things don't usually phase me so i'm not used to feeling like this.
Get tomorrow out of the way & i'll see how i feel next week.
You'll be OK Guy ;) ;)
But, like Entwood says, don't be afraid to ask for professional help :y
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Guy, just drive thinking every other car on the road is a MKI Cortina, your driving will never have been better..... :y :y
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Recent events on the road have left me feeling similar, Guy, so I can empathise to a certain extent. :-X
Smaller, less dangerous chunks of metal involved, admittedly, but, nonetheless, it's easy to lose your confidence even if you know deep down that you were in the right and did all you could.
I would say don't do anything hasty and throw away a good career. Find a way to get through the interim period when all the reminders will be there, to a time when you can put this behind you. Give 100% to your driving and pat yourself on the back every time you see a dangerous situation you've avoided. Don't give up. If you do, it'll probably be one more incompetent foreign driver taking your place.
Kevin
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Reading your original post the copper didn't see you as negligent or he'd have been looking at a due care charge so stop doubting yourself.
As for what if, what if she had used a bit more alertness and not gone up the inside of a trailer which was indicating?
Take it easy and stop beating yourself up about what didn't happen mate.
You & Carol have ridden shotgun with me on a pretty challenging bit of road in an old truck with a real gearbox at full weight so you've seen me drive a wagon but regardless of who'se fault it is i don't want blood on my hands. I'm sure i'll get over it, besides Kim does the best burger! :y
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"learn to live with it" line are
Ah, you mean the TheBoy method of dealing with stress/family&friends funerals/illness/bad things etc :-[
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The banger racing was MUCH harder & full on. Difference is we went out looking for it on the track. On the road we all want to avoid it.
I'm going to work tomorrow & won't make any rash decisions but after all these years i'm uneasy in the truck now. We'll see how it goes but i've never felt like this before, i'm on edge all the time, can't be safe.
After all these years you have proven to yourself that your not dangerous and even when a situation occured that could have been, you responded quickly and the result was nothing more than a minor knock.
Its easy to analyse what could have been following a minor knock, the key and most important thing is to see that your excellent driving skills and awareness made it a non event.
So, be proud of your skills (which not many have) :y
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Today was'nt actually too bad, i was only thinking about it on & off, in between i was content again although once i got back to the yard i cheered up totally...2 days off!
A thought struck me earlier though. The lad who had the truck before me suddenly & out of character broke a step, dented the fuel tank & rear ended a Subaru legacy/forester? writing it off. After years clean in two Scanias (broke one rear light lens) i got the Volvo & in 18 months ish i've knocked down an electric security gate broken two seperate mirrors at Petrolite in Knowsley (other trucks) loaded the wrong container, tipped it at the wrong place, (cost my gaffer over a grand to put right) one or too other sillies & then this debacle.
Can an inanimate object be jinxed? I.ve gone from one catstrphe to another all in this truck as did the last driver.
Maybe it's a good thing i'm due another new wagon soon!
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getting easier already then :y
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Today was'nt actually too bad, i was only thinking about it on & off, in between i was content again although once i got back to the yard i cheered up totally...2 days off!
A thought struck me earlier though. The lad who had the truck before me suddenly & out of character broke a step, dented the fuel tank & rear ended a Subaru legacy/forester? writing it off. After years clean in two Scanias (broke one rear light lens) i got the Volvo & in 18 months ish i've knocked down an electric security gate broken two seperate mirrors at Petrolite in Knowsley (other trucks) loaded the wrong container, tipped it at the wrong place, (cost my gaffer over a grand to put right) one or too other sillies & then this debacle.
Can an inanimate object be jinxed? I.ve gone from one catstrphe to another all in this truck as did the last driver.
Maybe it's a good thing i'm due another new wagon soon!
That's the spirit Guy... Blame the jinxed wagon ;D ;D :y :y
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Today was'nt actually too bad, i was only thinking about it on & off, in between i was content again although once i got back to the yard i cheered up totally...2 days off!
A thought struck me earlier though. The lad who had the truck before me suddenly & out of character broke a step, dented the fuel tank & rear ended a Subaru legacy/forester? writing it off. After years clean in two Scanias (broke one rear light lens) i got the Volvo & in 18 months ish i've knocked down an electric security gate broken two seperate mirrors at Petrolite in Knowsley (other trucks) loaded the wrong container, tipped it at the wrong place, (cost my gaffer over a grand to put right) one or too other sillies & then this debacle.
Can an inanimate object be jinxed? I.ve gone from one catstrphe to another all in this truck as did the last driver.
Maybe it's a good thing i'm due another new wagon soon!
That's the spirit Guy... Blame the jinxed wagon ;D ;D :y :y
Lets call it a coping mechanism Paul. Send Emma my love & a hug!! :y
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Today was'nt actually too bad, i was only thinking about it on & off, in between i was content again although once i got back to the yard i cheered up totally...2 days off!
A thought struck me earlier though. The lad who had the truck before me suddenly & out of character broke a step, dented the fuel tank & rear ended a Subaru legacy/forester? writing it off. After years clean in two Scanias (broke one rear light lens) i got the Volvo & in 18 months ish i've knocked down an electric security gate broken two seperate mirrors at Petrolite in Knowsley (other trucks) loaded the wrong container, tipped it at the wrong place, (cost my gaffer over a grand to put right) one or too other sillies & then this debacle.
Can an inanimate object be jinxed? I.ve gone from one catstrphe to another all in this truck as did the last driver.
Maybe it's a good thing i'm due another new wagon soon!
That's the spirit Guy... Blame the jinxed wagon ;D ;D :y :y
Lets call it a coping mechanism Paul. Send Emma my love & a hug!! :y
Whatever... It sounds like it's working :y :y
Will do... She needs it as she's full of lurgy today :(
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Today was'nt actually too bad, i was only thinking about it on & off, in between i was content again although once i got back to the yard i cheered up totally...2 days off!
A thought struck me earlier though. The lad who had the truck before me suddenly & out of character broke a step, dented the fuel tank & rear ended a Subaru legacy/forester? writing it off. After years clean in two Scanias (broke one rear light lens) i got the Volvo & in 18 months ish i've knocked down an electric security gate broken two seperate mirrors at Petrolite in Knowsley (other trucks) loaded the wrong container, tipped it at the wrong place, (cost my gaffer over a grand to put right) one or too other sillies & then this debacle.
Can an inanimate object be jinxed? I.ve gone from one catstrphe to another all in this truck as did the last driver.
Maybe it's a good thing i'm due another new wagon soon!
That's the spirit Guy... Blame the jinxed wagon ;D ;D :y :y
Lets call it a coping mechanism Paul. Send Emma my love & a hug!! :y
Whatever... It sounds like it's working :y :y
Will do... She needs it as she's full of lurgy today :(
I can't think of a lovelier person to catch a cold from á cv
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Amigo Guy, you can just as easily kill someone in a minicab. Actually, possibly more likely if the truth be told due to the nature of the beast.
Do what you want to do, but its always struck me that you've always enjoyed what you did. Hopefully, you've had your only incident now.
Seconded, also there are reports almost daily here of cabbies getting attacked and robbed so the grass may well not be greener on this matter.....
Keep at it Guy, if you're anything like me then its in your blood and as much as you be uneasy right now, if you were to try anything else it just wouldnt be what you wanted mate
Trust me, I have been in the office for 7 months and am missing the road.........
:y