Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: tonyyeb on 28 March 2011, 10:50:33
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Here are an assortment of personal goat-getters...
Griff Rhys-Jones
Was he ever edgey? It's increasingly hard to say 'yes'. Not that 'edginess' is somehow to be revered and celebrated, it's just that as a comedy flag-bearer of the 80's, you don't really expect to see him turn into a living embodiment of a comfy sweater with the most flagrantly awful affected voice in the history of flagrantly affected voices. One hint of his sweater visage or, far worse, his mangled voiceover voice (which he's clearly in love with and I curl inwards with hatred of), and I'm off.
The bint now on the 'One Show', and the bint that used to be on it
Autocue tarts, both of them, without an ounce of real personality between them. Their purpose is solely to induce vague groinal stirrings in middle aged, middle-class men. Hateful, although more hateful for the conniving of the BBC execs that put them there than for their own failings.
Fiona Bruce
Woo! Posh totty! And she so OBVIOUSLY cares! Just get a load of her on 'Crimewatch', listen to those calculated intonations of voice, marvel at the studied body language of actorly concern. Hateful. A slimy fake.
Kirsty Wark
Mercifully much less omnipresent on the box than she once was, but I still have nightmares about her. Imagine being married to that! That hectoring scottishness.....ugh.
Billy Connolly
A man celebrated for, er, what, precisely? He swears, they laugh. He swears some more, they laugh some more. He pauses, he laughs at what he's about to say next (because, after all, he's BILLY CONNOLLY!), he plays that pregnant pause shtick for every penny then delves deep into a comedy overdraft that he has no ability to ever pay back. The pause ends, the tortuously unfunny dialogue rambles on for way way too long, punctuated by more swearing. I think that the audience laugh because they imagine he's on some daring comedy precipice, but it's all a hideous con. If they'd only look down, they'd see that he's not flying by the seat of his pants, he's flying Business Class, and laughing all the way to the bank with your money.
Frankie Boyle, Jimmy Carr
They're different, but united by terrifying unfunniness. Boyle is tasteless and sneering, Carr is Mr Look At Me wearing the Emperor's New Clothes. "I can be funny!" "I can be shocking!" "look! Over here! Look at ME!!"
The trouble is, when you do, you are confronted by the World's Smarmiest Visage spouting self-satisfied drivel-comedy. I want to punch him sooo much. In fact, if I ever did have an opportunity to punch him, I'm sure I wouldn't be able to stop myself. And then I'd punch him a bit more...
Which brings me inexorably on to....
Phill Jupitus
The World's Least Funny Man Purporting to be a Funny Man, and as if this accolade wasn't enough, he's also the World's Least Interesting and Least Capable Radio DJ.
Please somebody tell me how this astoundingly talentless nerk has oozed into our public consciousness and remained there?
I'm genuinely mystified. He's from Essex, too. That saddens me deeply.
The Boring Smug Gits Club (aka Match of the Day)
My fists are twitching again....
For heaven's sake, BBC, shake this smeggy-stink format up and retire ALL of them! Hansen, Lineker, Shearer and most especially Lawrenson have long since fallen out of love with the game, probably out of resentment at being professionals at the wrong time, and boy! does it show!
Which leads me (inexorably ::) ) on to that other BBC sacred cow long overdue for ritual slaughter and concomitant dancing in the streets and joyous late night revelry...
Top Gear
I squirm with embarrassment that I share the same chromosomes as Clarkson. Is he sending himself up? Is he? He may have been, once, but long ago he started to believe that he had something, that his point of view was valid. The more negative post he got, the more entrenched he became, to the point where he is now a truly grotesque caricature of himself, a living gargoyle. Hammond is the kid in the year below Clarkson, and will curry favour from him to avoid other kids in his form from beating him up. May, well, er, I quite like him, actually... ;D
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Agree with some on your list, but I like Clarkson and all the Top Gear team. Unmissable TV in my book. :y :y
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Oh, I forgot to mention that Jamie Oliver really gets my goat. >:(
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Agree with some on your list, but I like Clarkson and all the Top Gear team. Unmissable TV in my book. :y :y
Totally agree, and that's why TG is now screened and enjoyed in countries all over the world, however, Clarkson is one of those personalities you either love or hate. He does make a motoring programme very entertaining even if most of it is stage managed - that's why TG consistently blows away programmes like Fifth Gear in the ratings. ;)
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Frankie Boyle on Mock the week can be very amusing - on his own hideous solo thing I dont get at all.
Very pleased to hear there is another member of the Clarkson Hating club here.
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yep,Id go along with much of that list Tony, including messers clarkson and hammond. For a long while I actually liked clarkson and agreed with a lot of what he -in a most unPC but amusing way-said. The few books of his I read were also entertaining. Problem is that whereas before I felt he genuinely put some thought into what he was saying and believed it, I now think he says things for the sake of it and has indeed become too much of a characterization of his previous self. Hammond? Was always the "cute/boyish" one but someone gave me one of his books and it was complete cr*p, unfunny and untalented and a sort of clarkson wannabe. May, I like and all 3 of them still gell together and , for me, can still entertain ....but its getting less amusing and more smug as TG goes on. Speaking of "smug", thats Jimmy Carr all over for me. Another addition I'd make is Lee Evans, the mostly unfunny heir to Norman Wisdom (who too overplayed his card). As for Phil jupitas, actually didnt mind him on never mind the buzzcocks but cant say Ive listened to him much elsewhere. Oh yes, lets not forget about Jordan /katie price either!
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Being a recovering misanthrope, I don't feel I can answer this with any degree of objectivity. ;D ;D ;D :(
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Ricky Tomlinson - the sight or sound of him makes me feel seriously ill
There are plenty of others. When my old timers eases off a bit later I will remember some and post them up. ;D ::)
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Jimmy Carr - your not rather funny, your just a posh idiot, posh people cant be funny, its the law. >:(
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Oh, and theres that David Mitchell bloke - sanctimonious little dick.
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And Cameron Mcintyre - comedian ? do me a favour.
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Top Gear
I squirm with embarrassment that I share the same chromosomes as Clarkson. Is he sending himself up? Is he? He may have been, once, but long ago he started to believe that he had something, that his point of view was valid. The more negative post he got, the more entrenched he became, to the point where he is now a truly grotesque caricature of himself, a living gargoyle. Hammond is the kid in the year below Clarkson, and will curry favour from him to avoid other kids in his form from beating him up. May, well, er, I quite like him, actually...
tony, now you are being silly. ;D
other than that i totally agree with your list apart from frankie boyle. he's hilarious
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jordan, katie price, that bird who used to be wed to peter andre, the bird who dated that cross dressing cage fighter, the hank who was a topless model.......
get it by now ?? >:(
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Yep Jordan - "also known as Katie Price"...... apparently. What a total waste of carbon and water. If it wasn't for the super soaraway stupendous Sun (and News of the World) would we ever know she existed? No, thought not.
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jordan, katie price, that bird who used to be wed to peter andre, the bird who dated that cross dressing cage fighter, the hank who was a topless model.......
get it by now ?? >:(
She tops my lists big time! ::)
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I've only met a couple of famous people:
Ian McKellen - a true gent even if he did try and chat me up.
Barry Sheen - spent a lot of time signing autographs for fans and earned a lot of respect from a young Guffer.
The wife has met many in the line of her work:
Myleen Klass - apparently she was not just stunning but incredibly nice to boot, even though she is quite famous.
Omid Djalali - apparently a real gent, with a really nice family and quite funny in real life too.
Nicolas Cage - an all round dick. He thinks the world of himself of expects everyone to treat him like a god.
Mark Wahlburg - asked my wife on a date so he's a dick of course
Alice Cooper - a very well read and intelligent man and pleasany company. The kind of guy to put the world to rights with over a bottle of wine or 4.
Jordan - She's quite a polite and well-mannered person apparently.
Most of the cage-fighters from that fighting league - some of the best behaved and most polite passengers she has ever had
Theres more but that's all that spring to mind
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The Beckenhams, all professional footballers, all the judges on all the talent shows (apart from Simon Cowell), Barak Obama, all Labour politicians, the guy off grand designs, I bet he likes to think of himself as famous. In fact, there's not many people i do like. Oh, the one who did a cover of Elton Johns 'your song', Charmi Chakrabarti, she's off the scale. Ban-ki Moon, Freddy 'look at me' flintoff, Alex Ferguson, the gay guy in a wheel chair out of emmerdale.
Oh just remembered, Richard and Judy, and their daughter - didn't she get done for drink driving?
Charlotte Churchs boyfriend/ex boyfriend, or whatever he is after the last bust up/make up/publicity stunt
The camp guy from the dancing school on tv who prances around the place
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Alice Cooper - a very well read and intelligent man and pleasany company. The kind of guy to put the world to rights with over a bottle of wine or 4.
You'd have to drink them yourself - he's teetotal
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Guffers list doesn't surprise me.
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Tony - you really really need to get out more. You care too much about this stuff.
And btw - Essex isnt all bad, and Im even prepared to accept that Wiltshire isnt either. ;)
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In a previous life, I've been lucky enough to meets lots of well known people. Like the normal population, some have their feet firmly on the ground, and some are tosspots.
I'm not into this celebrity 'dangle berries', so will refrain from saying whos who.
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>:( Piers morgan- what an a******e >:(
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Delia Smith. This bint wouldn't know a new recipe if it sat up and bit her arse... :-/
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simon cowell too. i cant stand him
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have many so called celebs i dislike but the one person i have to turn the channel over or the tv off, to avoid is EAMON HOLMES, sheesh what a selfloved up, condescending,chubby little self-abuser he is, just cannot stand the man, he wss on steve wright in the afternoon a few years ago and i rang up and asked if steve would cut him short because i had to listen to another station while he was on, the reply was a long laugh followed by the phone going down!! :y
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Robbie Williams.Looks like a wrinkled simian, talks like a poof & his music is entirely forgettable commercially churned out pop pap. Why the success?
Will Smith. Relies on special effects to make up for complete lack of talent & ego wise makes Chris Moyles appear modest. He made a song called "Wiilenium"? Way too much self love.
Tom Cruise, a sheer unadulterated winker.
Jimmy Carr. A pudding faced idiot who relies on sarcastic quips & is rude to his hosts when interviewed. Probably got beaten up at school & rightly so.
Richard Hammond. Clarkson has a place & a role to play although he can be a pillock at times. I like James May. More to him than meets the eye.
As for Hammond, WHY? I don't see the point in the silly little twerps existence, he's a knobend with VERY silly hair.
Piers Morgan???? Let's just say that many years ago in a maternity ward somewhere someone threw away the wrong bucket resulting in a wart on the arse of humanity.
Fiona Bruce? OH YEAH!!! Sorry but she's foxy as break. Nothing good to listen to on the news unless gloom & despondency is your thing. She could make an outbreak of the black death plague seem appealing & she's got a lovely arse...yes i most definitely would & not just a quickie.....lucky girl!!! :D :D 8-) :y
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Fiona Bruce? OH YEAH!!! Sorry but she's foxy as break. Nothing good to listen to on the news unless gloom & despondency is your thing. She could make an outbreak of the black death plague seem appealing & she's got a lovely arse...yes i most definitely would & not just a quickie.....lucky girl!!! :D :D 8-) :y
;D ;D ;D Splendid. 8-) :y
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Fearne Cotton, thick a shite, over tattoed hamp, just the sound of her voice makes me change channel
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I have not got a clue who some of these so called Celebs your all talking about are! :o
Fiona Bruce?
Jimmy Carr??
Charmi Chakrabarti???
Ban-ki Moon????
Freddy 'look at me' flintoff?????
Omid Djalali??????
I don't really watch much tv but that Dermott wanna be famous clown on the xfactor who thinks he can touch every Proper Famous Person he comes into contact with, should be piled into a Trebuchet and flirted at some castle wall.
"That's all I have to say about that".....
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daz mate, thats cos you're always under someone's bonnet :o :o ;D ;D
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I have not got a clue who some of these so called Celebs your all talking about are! :o
Fiona Bruce?
Jimmy Carr??
Charmi Chakrabarti???
Ban-ki Moon????
Freddy 'look at me' flintoff?????
Omid Djalali??????
I don't really watch much tv but that Dermott wanna be famous clown on the xfactor who thinks he can touch every Proper Famous Person he comes into contact with, should be piled into a Trebuchet and flirted at some castle wall.
"That's all I have to say about that".....
That's that sorted then Luke! ;D
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I can't stand, in no particular order:
Anne Robinson - pseudo intellectual who seriously mistakes money for talent
Jamie Oliver - fat tongued mockney tosser
Cilla Black - screeching, talentless harpie who still bangs on about how she was mates with "arr beatles like"
Phil Jupitus - who told him he was funny?
Hale & Pace - not on the box nowadays much thank christ, deeply deeply overrated
Davina McCall - a squawking, demented crow who wouldnt say no to the opening of a bag of cheese and onion
Sarah Ferguson - a more desperate, grasping see you next tuesday doesn't exist
I'm sure theres more.....
Oh, Dr. Fox - you're neither ;D ;D ;D
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I can't stand, in no particular order:
Anne Robinson - pseudo intellectual who seriously mistakes money for talent
Jamie Oliver - fat tongued mockney tosser
Cilla Black - screeching, talentless harpie who still bangs on about how she was mates with "arr beatles like"
Phil Jupitus - who told him he was funny?
Hale & Pace - not on the box nowadays much thank christ, deeply deeply overrated
Davina McCall - a squawking, demented crow who wouldnt say no to the opening of a bag of cheese and onion
Sarah Ferguson - a more desperate, grasping see you next tuesday doesn't exist
I'm sure theres more.....
Oh, Dr. Fox - you're neither ;D ;D ;D
Nooooooo!! I agree with Banjax about something! :o :o ;)
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I can't stand, in no particular order:
Anne Robinson - pseudo intellectual who seriously mistakes money for talent
Jamie Oliver - fat tongued mockney tosser
Cilla Black - screeching, talentless harpie who still bangs on about how she was mates with "arr beatles like"
Phil Jupitus - who told him he was funny?
Hale & Pace - not on the box nowadays much thank christ, deeply deeply overrated
Davina McCall - a squawking, demented crow who wouldnt say no to the opening of a bag of cheese and onion
Sarah Ferguson - a more desperate, grasping see you next tuesday doesn't exist
I'm sure theres more.....
Oh, Dr. Fox - you're neither ;D ;D ;D
Nooooooo!! I agree with Banjax about something! :o :o ;)
even a broken clock's right twice a day ;D :y
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you cant be a broken clock then BJ as your only right about once every 2 years. ::) ;D ;D
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you cant be a broken clock then BJ as your only right about once every 2 years. ::) ;D ;D
Splendid, as Zulu 77, Zulu, Zoo Loo, Zoo Lou would say. ;) ;D ;D 8-) 8-)
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you cant be a broken clock then BJ as your only right about once every 2 years. ::) ;D ;D
Splendid, as Zulu 77, Zulu, Zoo Loo, Zoo Lou would say. ;) ;D ;D 8-) 8-)
I wonder when Sir Zoo's Loo say "Splendid" he says it like Bazil Fawlty? :D ;D
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you cant be a broken clock then BJ as your only right about once every 2 years. ::) ;D ;D
Splendid, as Zulu 77, Zulu, Zoo Loo, Zoo Lou would say. ;) ;D ;D 8-) 8-)
I wonder when Sir Zoo's Loo say "Splendid" he says it like Bazil Fawlty? :D ;D
Stop throwing Britney Spears at me!