Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: r1 on 07 September 2011, 19:47:25
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now my mrs has been putting on a few pounds so she is now going to zumba,kickersize and body combat to try and get rid.now she pays a few quid to do all this so i said to her why dont you save some money by cutting the grass tonight putting out the bins and painting the spare room.but no these are all my jobs.then when she comes in she rewards her self with a bar of cadburys or pigs out on pretzels.last night i happened to mention this and the ear ache i got off her was un real.but the worst thing is she keeps asking me if i think shes slimmer and the honest reply is no[in fact i think shes gaining] but as i like living i tend to fudge the question when i really want to say stop eating all those cakes and fruit and nut then you wont look like a porker.
do you think i should man up and speak the truth or maybe tex her?
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Photos never lie, especially over time. That way you don't have to tell her..... :y
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There is a phrase that my father in law is convinced that every husband should learn and use, it is...
Yes, my love.
My advice would be not to lie to her or she'll probably cut your balls off for you. :y
Oh and to remember that muscle is heavier than fat! ;)
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There is a phrase that my father in law is convinced that every husband should learn and use, it is...
Yes, my love.
My advice would be not to lie to her or she'll probably cut your balls off for you. :y
Oh and to remember that muscle is heavier than fat! ;)
clever man, political answer ;D :y
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Man up and tell Mrs r1 the terrible truth :o :o :o
Then post photos of the aftermath.... ;D ;D ;D
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There is a phrase that my father in law is convinced that every husband should learn and use, it is...
Yes, my love.
My advice would be not to lie to her or she'll probably cut your balls off for you. :y
Oh and to remember that muscle is heavier than fat! ;)
I hope that Mr Jimbob never tells you a porky Mrs Jimbob.... :D :D ;)
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I no longer make any attempt whatsoever to understand my wife.
I have been faking deafness for the past couple of years,i have found that to work quite well.
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As my dad used to say...
Women, can't live them, can't shoot them
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I have been faking deafness for the past couple of years,i have found that to work quite well.[/quote]
ive been trying this approach for a while now and she says ive got to go to the doc but avoided it so far but her mates told her about some candals that draw the wax out so shes getting some for me at the weekend!
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I have been faking deafness for the past couple of years,i have found that to work quite well.
I can genuinely claim deafness :-[
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Ear candles are only supposed to be used by trained peeps. Imagine getting molten wax down your ear :-X
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I have been faking deafness for the past couple of years,i have found that to work quite well.
I can genuinely claim deafness :-[
Then you must have the information beaten into you syllable by syllable!
Lets see how long it takes for full hearing to return! :y
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There is a phrase that my father in law is convinced that every husband should learn and use, it is...
Yes, my love.
My advice would be not to lie to her or she'll probably cut your balls off for you. :y
Oh and to remember that muscle is heavier than fat! ;)
I hope that Mr Jimbob never tells you a porky Mrs Jimbob.... :D :D ;)
Hmmm, he seems to work on the theory that forgiveness is easier than permission.....it's a man thing apparently! >:( ;D
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Ear candles are only supposed to be used by trained peeps. Imagine getting molten wax down your ear :-X
They sound like they are for poofs as well ;)
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Ear candles are only supposed to be used by trained peeps. Imagine getting molten wax down your ear :-X
They sound like they are for poofs as well ;)
You should get some then TB seeing as you're too much of a poof to go and get your ears syringed! :y :P
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Ear candles are only supposed to be used by trained peeps. Imagine getting molten wax down your ear :-X
They sound like they are for poofs as well ;)
You should get some then TB seeing as you're too much of a poof to go and get your ears syringed! :y :P
Before I can get 'em seen to, I have to register with a quack. Thats unlikely to happen any time soon.
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Ear candles are only supposed to be used by trained peeps. Imagine getting molten wax down your ear :-X
They sound like they are for poofs as well ;)
You should get some then TB seeing as you're too much of a poof to go and get your ears syringed! :y :P
Before I can get 'em seen to, I have to register with a quack. Thats unlikely to happen any time soon.
DO WE HAVE TO TYPE LIKE THIS THEN SO THAT YOU CAN HEAR US?
YOU BIG GIRLS BLOUSE! :P
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What?
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What?
YOU HEARD! SHALL WE GET YOU A TRUMPET IN CASE YOU MISS SOMAT? :-*
Then at least mrs TB can clack you with it! :y
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As my dad used to say...
Women, can't live them, can't shoot them
And they bleed for a week and crab/greet/moan/ the rest :-X :-X :-X
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My x would look the part if she had tusks. she's the only thing round here that blocks out the sun. ::)
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Pretending to listen is fine, while you are thinking about something much more important like making out with Cameron Diaz in back of a miggy :y :y :y
Until you get the fatal sentence.....
"Your not listening are you, what have I just said?" :o :D
Fortunately, I find I can always rewind my hearing back by about 10 seconds, pick out a few key words and get away with it. ::) ;D ;D ;D
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My x would look the part if she had tusks. she's the only thing round here that blocks out the sun. ::)
Can you get an export licence. Too much sun here. ;D ;D
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Deafness us no defence. It brings out the sadistic streak. Mrs. J. mumbles at me, forcing me to ask her to repeat everything. This amounts to ritual humiliation.
The Omega is a relatively quiet car, but trying to drive and respond to the constant mumbling and whispering probably makes me a dangerous driver.
I've been a hearing aid user for 20 years or more and still I can't get the idea across that I can hear much better if the speaker is looking in my direction.
As for original topic, well, she was a size 6 when we got married, and she's a size 12 now. But then I had a 30" waist in 1974...
Don't even think about making a comment on you wife's weight loss program. Change the subject - drop something on your foot, stab yourself in the hand with kitchen knife, feign a heart attack - anything to avoid answering. :)
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Ear candles are only supposed to be used by trained peeps. Imagine getting molten wax down your ear :-X
They sound like they are for poofs as well ;)
Shrek has ear candles - pulls out the wax, lights it - instant candle!
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Pretending to listen is fine, while you are thinking about something much more important like making out with Cameron Diaz in back of a miggy :y :y :y
Until you get the fatal sentence.....
"Your not listening are you, what have I just said?" :o :D
Fortunately, I find I can always rewind my hearing back by about 10 seconds, pick out a few key words and get away with it. ::) ;D ;D ;D
Why is everyone on a Shrek hint this week.
Firstly a Shrek like footballer,
then candles made out of earwax
Finally Princess Fiona ::) ::) ;D ;D
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well its getting worse.
been shoping tonight[never go at the weekend much to busy] and it looks like we all going to be eating rabbit food.ive never seen so much lighter/suger free/salt free rubbish in my life and why if it hasnt got it in is it more expensive? i dont need to diet been the same size for years,think theres going to be lots of sneeky vists to the chippy and cafe.that being the case her diet is going to cost me money.
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Conservation of energy - You can't make or destroy energy only turn it from one form into another.
Calories in means it has to be burn off. Diets DON'T WORK, but exercise does. So suggest to her that to keep her figure trim, exercise is the best option and sex is the best exercise of the lot. While you are stoking the fire 4 or 5 times a night and acting the stud I'm sure you are are, you can dream you are making out with Cameron Diaz.... :y :y :y ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The alternative to burn off calories is long walks, running etc, but I know which exercise I prefer ::) :y
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Conservation of energy - You can't make or destroy energy only turn it from one form into another.
Calories in means it has to be burn off. Diets DON'T WORK, but exercise does. So suggest to her that to keep her figure trim, exercise is the best option and sex is the best exercise of the lot. While you are stoking the fire 4 or 5 times a night and acting the stud I'm sure you are are, you can dream you are making out with Cameron Diaz.... :y :y :y ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
The alternative to burn off calories is long walks, running etc, but I know which exercise I prefer ::) :y
i agree
but there where no headache pills in her/our diet kit
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Best idea would be to take a pic of her, one when she was slimmer and a recent one showing the gains and pin it to the kithcen cupboard doors so every time she goes to go in them it will remind her. Its used by many slimming sites and so must obviously be effective.
No doubt that advice will upset some though!
Whatever happens, it is up the individual to sort it because it is they who scoff too much and excercise too little! Oh yeah... and women do not rule men and men do not rule women....we are all equal!
Its a sorry state of affairs when there are those who think the opposite. :y
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Best idea would be to take a pic of her, one when she was slimmer and a recent one showing the gains and pin it to the kithcen cupboard doors so every time she goes to go in them it will remind her. Its used by many slimming sites and so must obviously be effective.
No doubt that advice will upset some though!
Whatever happens, it is up the individual to sort it because it is they who scoff too much and excercise too little! Oh yeah... and women do not rule men and men do not rule women....we are all equal!
Its a sorry state of affairs when there are those who think the opposite. :y
If only life were that simple ffs! >:(
Oh and I'd like to see the man who lived to tell the tale after pulling your recommended photo stunt! ;D ;D
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Not saying my ex-wife was fat but I had to make love to her with the light off...
I kept burning my arse on the light bulb
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Not saying my ex-wife was fat but I had to make love to her with the light off...
I kept burning my arse on the light bulb
PMSL ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
I can laugh at that one because SWMBO is not looking over my shoulder. Better be careful later though........ ;D ;D
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Not saying my ex-wife was fat but I had to make love to her with the light off...
I kept burning my arse on the light bulb
hahahahahahahaha ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
i have to say i like chubby birds. generally bigger knockers which is great. but my current SWMBO is nice n slim and ive kind of found im not noticing the chubbies as much as i once did.
as for talking to her about it i say stop being a pussy and take charge. if she really wants to get slim then get her to start running. its free, convenient and is the best excercise for weight loss.
i cant talk as im a fat boy but i didnt used to be. i ran about 5 times a week and looked great. but im getting on now and id rather sit at home and relax than go for a run!!! but thats my choice.
just out of interest can we have some stats? e.g. she was a size 8 when you married and is now a size 38. then you got a problem ;D ;D ;D unless as i said before you dont mind the chub :)
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One of my ex's was worred about her weight and asked me for 10 grand for a stomoch staple operation :o
I gave her a fiver and told he to buy a paddlock for the fridge :D ;D ;D
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Tell her to get a dog. I'm knackered since we got ours, must be doing three or four mile walks every day.