Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: maria on 07 February 2008, 20:08:47
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EIGHT WAYS VODKA IS BETTER FOR YOU THAN A
PENIS IS....
1 Vodka is always stiff
2 It doesn't look smaller when it's cold
3 It lasts as long as you want
4 It doesn't poke you in the back in the mornings, demanding attention
5 You don't care how far down your throat goes
6 You can have as many has you like without being easy
7 you can enjoy vodka in front of your mum
8 Vodka is always a pleasure to swallow.
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I thought this forum was meant to be "family orientated".
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;D ;D ;D ;D
Very funny!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D
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:-[ :-[ :-[ :-[ :y
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;D ;D ;D ;D
Very funny!!!! ;D ;D ;D ;D[/quote[/highlight]]
I am glad you got a good sense of humour and did laugh when i read it ;D
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OI, I take offence at that, and have no choice but to retaliate :
Reasons Why Beer is Better Than Women
1. You can enjoy a BEER all month.
2. BEER stains wash out.
3. You don't have to wine and dine a BEER.
4. Your BEER will always wait patiently for you in the car.
5. When BEER goes flat you toss it out.
6. BEER is never late.
7. HANGOVERS go away.
8. A BEER doesn't get jealous when you grab another BEER.
9. BEER labels come off without a fight.
10. When you go to a bar, you know you can always pick up a BEER.
11. BEER never has a headache.
12. After you have a BEER, the bottle is still worth a dime.
13. A BEER won't get upset if you come home with BEER on
your breath.
14. If you pour a BEER right, you will always get good head.
15. You can have more than one BEER a night and not feel guilty.
16. A BEER ALWAYS goes down easy.
17. You can share a BEER with your friends.
18. You always know that you are the first one to pop a BEER.
19. A BEER is always wet.
20. BEER doesn't demand equality.
21. A BEER doesn't care when you come.
22. You can have a BEER in public.
23. A frigid BEER is a good BEER.
24. You don't have to wash a BEER before it tastes good.
25. BEER always comes in multiples of six.
26. BEER doesn't mind being in the "wet spot" that IT left.
27. You can't catch anything but a "buzz" from a BEER.
28. After you have a BEER, you're committed to nothing other
than dumping the empty bottle.
29. A BEER never costs you more than five dollars and never
leaves you thirsty.
30. When your BEER is gone, you just pop another.
31. You rarely (if ever) find BEER labels on the shower curtain rod.
32. BEER looks the same in the morning.
33. BEER doesn't look you up in a month.
34. BEER doesn't worry about someone walking in.
35. BEER doesn't worry about waking the kids.
36. BEER doesn't get cramps.
37. BEER doesn't have a mother.
38. BEER doesn't have morals.
39. BEER doesn't go crazy once a month.
40. BEER always listens and never argues.
41. BEER labels don't go out of style every year.
42. BEER doesn't whine, it bubbles.
43. BEER doesn't have cold hands/feet.
44. BEER doesn't demand legality.
45. BEER is never overweight.
46. If you change BEERs, you don't have to pay alimony.
47. BEER won't run off with your credit cards.
48. BEER doesn't have a lawyer.
49. BEER doesn't need much closet space.
50. BEER can't give your herpes or other nasty things.
51. BEER doesn't complain about the way you drive.
52. BEER doesn't mind if you fart or belch.
53. BEER never changes its mind.
54. BEER doesn't tease you or play hard to get.
55. BEER never asks you to change the station.
56. BEER doesn't make you go shopping.
57. BEER doesn't tell you to mow the grass.
58. BEER doesn't mind seeing Chuck Norris and Charles Bronson flicks.
59. BEER is always easy to pick up.
60. Big, fat BEERs are nice to have.
61. BEER doesn't pout or play games.
62. BEER NEVER says no.
63. BEER is easy to get into.
64. BEER never complains when you take it somewhere.
65. BEER doesn't need to go to the 'powder room' with other BEERs
66. BEER doesn't wear a bra.
67. BEER doesn't mind getting dirty.
68. BEER doesn't complain about insensitivity.
69. BEER doesn't use up your toilet paper.
70. BEER doesn't live with its mother.
71. BEER doesn't blow you off.
72. BEER doesn't care if you have no culture or manners.
73. BEER doesn't bitch, yell, or cry.
74. BEER doesn't mind football season.
75. A BEER won't make you go to church.
76. A BEER is more likely to know how to spell "carburetor" than
a woman.
77. A BEER doesn't think baseball is stupid simply because the
guys spit.
78. A BEER doesn't think DOS is pronounced "dose".
79. A BEER doesn't give a opps if you keep a bunch of other
BEERs around.
80. A BEER will not insist that those odious Michelin
commercials wit babies are "cute".
81. If a BEER leaks all over the room, it smells kinda good for a
while.
82. A BEER will not call you a sexist pig if you say "doberman"
instead of "doberperson".
83. A BEER won't get a job as a DJ and play 5 straight hours of
lesbian folk music on your favorite radio station.
84. A BEER won't claim that the Three Stooges are shitheads.
85. A BEER won't raise a fuss about a little thing like leaving the
toilet seat up.
86. If you mention a "three-hundred-fifty cubic-inch V8" around a
BEER, it won't think you're talking about an enormous can of
vegetable juice.
87. A BEER won't whine that seatbelts hurt.
88. A BEER won't smoke in your car.
89. A BEER won't argue that there's no difference between
shooting down an unidentified aircraft in a war zone and blowing
a Korean airliner out of the sky.
91. A BEER will actually *support* belching and farting and share
your enthusiasm for getting them included as demonstration
sports in the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona.
92. A BEER is always ready to leave on time.
93. A BEER never fishes for compliments.
94. Some BEERs (e.g. St. Pauli Girl) have fabulous tits.
95. BEER tastes *good*.
96. If you take a BEER outta the fridge just to look at it but then
decide to drink it, the BEER won't accuse you of "date rape".
97. A BEER won't raise any objections to an evening of watching
"John Holmes' Greatest Hits" on your VCR.
98. An ice-cold BEER will nonetheless let you have your way with it.
99. A BEER won't make you pick up some tampons when you go
to the grocery store.
100. A BEER won't accuse you of lying when you say you read
Penthouse "just for the articles". (You *are* lying, but the
BEER won't accuse you of it.
101. A BEER won't worry that you'll go to jail if you videotape a
Giants game without the expressed, written consent of the
National Football League.
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Very Good ;D ;D
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102. A BEER won't fill up your car with cheesy 85-octane gas
with the excuse: "But I saved a quarter!"
103. A BEER will *never* make you go to a Swedish movie.
104. A BEER will *never* make you turn off "Fists of Fury
Theater" on channel 5 on Saturday afternoons.
105. A BEER won't accuse you of being a sexist pig if you say
"Gene Hackman" instead of "Gene Hackperson".
106. A BEER won't make you eat some experimental vegetarian
meal that tastes like STP Oil Treatment.
107. When you're through with a BEER, the thought of another
BEER doesn't make you ill.
grrrr 30 second post delay >:(
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EIGHT WAYS VODKA IS BETTER FOR YOU THAN A PENIS IS....
1 Vodka is always stiff
2 It doesn't look smaller when it's cold
3 It lasts as long as you want
4 It doesn't poke you in the back in the mornings, demanding attention
5 You don't care how far down your throat goes
6 You can have as many has you like without being easy
7 you can enjoy vodka in front of your mum
8 Vodka is always a pleasure to swallow.
Surely the more you have the easier you become ;D ;D ;D
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EIGHT WAYS VODKA IS BETTER FOR YOU THAN A PENIS IS....
1 Vodka is always stiff
2 It doesn't look smaller when it's cold
3 It lasts as long as you want
4 It doesn't poke you in the back in the mornings, demanding attention
5 You don't care how far down your throat goes
6 You can have as many has you like without being easy
7 you can enjoy vodka in front of your mum
8 Vodka is always a pleasure to swallow.
Surely the more you have the easier you become ;D ;D ;D
Ture ;D ;D ;D
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mrs zippo has just seen this and i i speak laughing her head off
AT ME........
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EIGHT WAYS VODKA IS BETTER FOR YOU THAN A PENIS IS....
1 Vodka is always stiff
2 It doesn't look smaller when it's cold
3 It lasts as long as you want
4 It doesn't poke you in the back in the mornings, demanding attention
5 You don't care how far down your throat goes
6 You can have as many has you like without being easy
7 you can enjoy vodka in front of your mum
8 Vodka is always a pleasure to swallow.
Surely the more you have the easier you become ;D ;D ;D
Ture ;D ;D ;D
I'm sure.
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;D ;D ;D ;D to both :y
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break that has just taken me 10 minutes to read ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
I liked yours too Maria :y :y :y
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jAMES as you now i dont drink it so not for me no but others well to there own
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Superb on both counts ;D ;D :y
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well,
after a very stressing day I become relax finally :y
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well,
after a very stressing day I become relax finally :y
[/highlight]
Thats good, I get stressed every day cem but this joke did make me lol ;D ;D
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well,
after a very stressing day I become relax finally :y
[/highlight]
Thats good, I get stressed every day cem but this joke did make me lol ;D ;D
everyday :-?
how you handle that ?
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the last 3 days I was in stress and today reach the top..Before I enter
the forum was pain in all muscles..
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Having kids thats how and the dogs wind me up but i love them to bits and just every day life really
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Having kids thats how and the dogs wind me up but i love them to bits and just every day life really
agree i know how you feel. Shane my son has got the terrible twos at three. >:(
And if jester eats one more thing he shouldnt im going to tape it to him! ;D
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Mine story a bit dfferent..
Trying to take driving license for wife..But the point is , she is foreign..
And the govt.offices are full of **** heads.. When they see she's
foreign try every barrier against us..Dont accept the papers..
Try to find mistakes..And I'm also in govt in a good position but no
way..I fight with many idiots..
Finally I find a back door and pass the trouble..
But today the neighbour woman have trouble with my wife ,
and started another problem..
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Sorry to her that cem but why don't neighbours just leave you alone they have too poke there nose in , i had neighbours that would not just leave me alone and caused no end of trouble for me so in the end i moved back to wales and at the time my husband just left me for a best mate so i now what your going through this world is not a nice place to live in at times
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Sorry to her that cem but why don't neighbours just leave you alone they have too poke there nose in , i had neighbours that would not just leave me alone and caused no end of trouble for me so in the end i moved back to wales and at the time my husband just left me for a best mate so i now what your going through this world is not a nice place to live in at times
Explained very well..
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Thanks cem , well this world is going down the toilet would you agree and i wish it wasn't i wish that every one was nice and just get along but no such luck would that happen
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Thanks cem , well this world is going down the toilet would you agree and i wish it wasn't i wish that every one was nice and just get along but no such luck would that happen
completely.. human nature creates the problem I think..
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EIGHT WAYS VODKA IS BETTER FOR YOU THAN A PENIS IS....
1 Vodka is always stiff
2 It doesn't look smaller when it's cold
3 It lasts as long as you want
4 It doesn't poke you in the back in the mornings, demanding attention
5 You don't care how far down your throat goes
6 You can have as many has you like without being easy
7 you can enjoy vodka in front of your mum
8 Vodka is always a pleasure to swallow.
LMAO..........Brill.. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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I know loads of rude jokes but i'd better not put them on here as i might get into trouble with the admins or mods but we have to have a laugh some times dont we :)
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I know loads of rude jokes
Like what? I've never heard 'em.
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;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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I know loads of rude jokes
Like what? I've never heard 'em.
because you are never interested babe i do try and your on here when your at mine so i dont get a chance to tell you
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I know loads of rude jokes
Like what? I've never heard 'em.
because you are never interested babe i do try and your on here when your at mine so i dont get a chance to tell you
Bowlocks! When I tell jokes, and ask if you have any, you say no! So don't give me that crap!!!!
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I know loads of rude jokes
Like what? I've never heard 'em.
because you are never interested babe i do try and your on here when your at mine so i dont get a chance to tell you
Bowlocks! When I tell jokes, and ask if you have any, you say no! So don't give me that crap!!!!
No need to swear at me babe and you have never ask me to tell jokes >:(