Omega Owners Forum
Chat Area => General Discussion Area => Topic started by: Pitchfork on 06 March 2008, 08:24:37
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After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one.
The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and
count to 10. The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
(This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, parts of Bradford and anywhere in Wales.)
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;D ;D
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Glad mine wasn't like that!
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:y...... ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Glad mine wasn't like that!
[/highlight]
Mine felt as if it was. :-[
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Glad mine wasn't like that!
You still ended up with purple plums though James! ;D
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PMSL ;D ;D ;D
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Glad mine wasn't like that!
You still ended up with purple plums though James! ;D
:o OMG! :o
That must`ve been the two house bricks budget-vasectomy! ;D
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Glad mine wasn't like that!
You still ended up with purple plums though James! ;D
:o OMG! :o
That must`ve been the two house bricks budget-vasectomy! ;D
Apparantly the NHS budget is a bit tight up in north wales
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Seems to have done the job anyway.....last pot goes in tomorrow for checking!
Now theres a nice mental image for you all :-[
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Seems to have done the job anyway.....last pot goes in tomorrow for checking!
Now theres a nice mental image for you all :-[
TMI Jimbob :o
May I be the first to wish you good-luck with the (Ahem!) 'test' :y.....`begs the question though; what happens if you fail (or is it pass)? ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Great ;D ;D ;D ;D
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;D ;D ;D ;D :y :y
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Seems to have done the job anyway.....last pot goes in tomorrow for checking!
Now theres a nice mental image for you all :-[
I hope someone gave you a hand ;D
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Seems to have done the job anyway.....last pot goes in tomorrow for checking!
Now theres a nice mental image for you all :-[
I hope someone gave you a hand ;D
;D ;D ;D ;D ;D .....and.... ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Alas no, all requests for 'help' denied >:(
Last pot was all clear, so heres hoping the same :y
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.....Last pot was all clear.....
:o OMG :o
Clear! surely that`s gonna be a test-pass then Jimbob! ;D ;D
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OK, ill rephrase....the test results said all clear ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Hmm I'm getting tempted by the idea of this, cos it means you can shag with impunity :D tho i don't fancy the thought of the actual procedure :o
Think I'll take my chances for now ::)
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Should have put the wife on the pill instead, they do a 4ft one now, the wife rolls it behind the bedroom door and you can't get in!!! ::) ::) ::)
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OK, ill rephrase....the test results said all clear ;D ;D ;D ;D
So, that will make a 'Vas Deferens' to you then! ;)
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Hmm I'm getting tempted by the idea of this, cos it means you can shag with impunity :D tho i don't fancy the thought of the actual procedure :o
Think I'll take my chances for now ::)
Oh I wouldn`t worry too much, it`s not painful Paul: as I used to joke with my B.F: it only hurts if I get my fingers caught between the two house bricks as I clap`em together! ;D ;D ;D
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Seems to have done the job anyway.....last pot goes in tomorrow for checking!
Now theres a nice mental image for you all :-[
TMI Jimbob :o
May I be the first to wish you good-luck with the (Ahem!) 'test' :y.....`begs the question though; what happens if you fail (or is it pass)? ;D ;D ;D ;D
Is the test a Written or an Oral test :-X Sorry Stokie humour ::)
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Back in 1977 it cost £28 to have it done privately
Quite a 'Snip' really!!! ;D ;D ;D
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Hmm I'm getting tempted by the idea of this, cos it means you can shag with impunity :D tho i don't fancy the thought of the actual procedure :o
Think I'll take my chances for now ::)
Oh I wouldn`t worry too much, it`s not painful Paul: as I used to joke with my B.F: it only hurts if I get my fingers caught between the two house bricks as I clap`em together! ;D ;D ;D
:o
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Back on November the 5th - Firework day....it was free!!!!!!!
I was really dreading it, then got offered the pre-op diazapam...
Happy days, they could have cut em off with a rusty saw for all I cared..
I was even joking about the smell of steak when they used the cauteriser..
Its one of those ops that sounds a hell of a lot worse than it is, really not bad at all.
Bit of pain / discomfort for 3-4 days, take it easy for a week, and not looked back, wouldnt know anything had ever been done now.
No pain, no sensation change, nothing.
I know some people have different experiences, but mine was fine.
Just anxious for the all clear now, here you sumbit monthly pots starting at 3 months post op, until you get 2 clear results.
They say it takes about 20 'goes' before you are cleared out, so to speak ::)
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Hmm I'm getting tempted by the idea of this, cos it means you can shag with impunity :D tho i don't fancy the thought of the actual procedure :o
Think I'll take my chances for now ::)
Do not even think about it until there is a 4 at the front of your age - you are too young to join Jimbob.
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The idea terrifies me
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After having their 11th child, a Liverpool couple decided that was enough, as the social wouldn't buy them a bigger bed and they weren't strong enough to nick one.
The husband went to his doctor and told him that he and his wife didn't want to have any more children. The doctor told him there was a procedure called a vasectomy that would fix the problem but it was expensive. A less costly alternative was to go home, get a firework, light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and
count to 10. The Scouser said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest guy in the world, but I don't see how putting a firework in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me." "Trust me, it will do the job", said the doctor.
So the man went home, lit a banger and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count: "1, 2, 3, 4, 5," at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs so he could continue counting on his other hand.
(This procedure also works in Middlesbrough, parts of Bradford and anywhere in Wales.)
You been there as well :)
Don't tell swmbo otherwise firework night will never be the same again. :D :D :D
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Hmm I'm getting tempted by the idea of this, cos it means you can shag with impunity :D tho i don't fancy the thought of the actual procedure :o
Think I'll take my chances for now ::)
Do not even think about it until there is a 4 at the front of your age - you are too young to join Jimbob.
Too Late now, I have all the kids I (we) want, so why waste best part of a decade with less reliable methods :o
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They say it takes about 20 'goes' before you are cleared out, so to speak ::)[/quote........same as clearing fault codes on omega then ;D..swmbo has been on at me for years to have the snip but i said that i might meet a beautiful young women who wants to have my babies ,youve got have a dream ;D ;D
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Exactly, mine says we have all the kids we want, and I reply, yes, with you any way ;D
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I'm so glad I'm eating breakfast and reading this....
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Tasty yogurt is it?
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Exactly, mine says we have all the kids we want, and I reply, yes, with you any way ;D
But youve only got two, dont you need two more so you will have one of 'each'.
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OK, ill rephrase....the test results said all clear ;D ;D ;D ;D
= firing blanks ;D ;D ;D
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I get moaned at too so I look for all the anti stuff I can find.
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We thought i had been done a few years ago thanks to a steering column, a mini and an oncoming car :o :'(
a few years later little miss Jay w comes along and since then SWMBO has been nagging me about having it done.
My answer was 'we thought they didn't work for so long, why spoil that'
suffice to say i am frequently on bread and water ;D
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I must be having a slow day. It look a few reads to figure that one out. :-?
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I must be having a slow day. It look a few reads to figure that one out. :-?
didn't want to go into too much detail still brings a tear to my eyes....
still have the post accident piccys, i had a lovely bunch of coconuts :o
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Hmm I'm getting tempted by the idea of this, cos it means you can shag with impunity :D tho i don't fancy the thought of the actual procedure :o
Think I'll take my chances for now ::)
Do not even think about it until there is a 4 at the front of your age - you are too young to join Jimbob.
So I have another 400 years to wait.... gives me time to prepare myself psychologically!
I have all the kids I want, i.e. none ;) OK I'm a little(!) self-centred, but that's my prerogative and I know that's a road I never want to go down. I like my freedom and being footloose a little too much, and I don't plan on settling in any particular place any time soon, too many places to see and things to try etc. :)
The family thing is definitely not for me, but at the same time neither is the snip! There is always the Christian route of abstenance ;D err no thanks!
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The family thing is definitely not for me, but at the same time neither is the snip! There is always the Christian route of abstenance Grin err no thanks!
That leaves the only other option:
Don't be a fool - vulcanise your tool! ;D
Kevin
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Hmm I'm getting tempted by the idea of this, cos it means you can shag with impunity :D tho i don't fancy the thought of the actual procedure :o
Think I'll take my chances for now ::)
Do not even think about it until there is a 4 at the front of your age - you are too young to join Jimbob.
So I have another 400 years to wait.... gives me time to prepare myself psychologically!
I have all the kids I want, i.e. none ;) OK I'm a little(!) self-centred, but that's my prerogative and I know that's a road I never want to go down. I like my freedom and being footloose a little too much, and I don't plan on settling in any particular place any time soon, too many places to see and things to try etc. :)
The family thing is definitely not for me, but at the same time neither is the snip! There is always the Christian route of abstenance ;D err no thanks!
Never say never - when I was your age - no way I wanted children, as I got older I did.
Just imagine you find Miss Perfect, right build, right looks, get on well ect ect.
You will want children wih her - it does happen.
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Hmm I'm getting tempted by the idea of this, cos it means you can shag with impunity :D tho i don't fancy the thought of the actual procedure :o
Think I'll take my chances for now ::)
Do not even think about it until there is a 4 at the front of your age - you are too young to join Jimbob.
So I have another 400 years to wait.... gives me time to prepare myself psychologically!
I have all the kids I want, i.e. none ;) OK I'm a little(!) self-centred, but that's my prerogative and I know that's a road I never want to go down. I like my freedom and being footloose a little too much, and I don't plan on settling in any particular place any time soon, too many places to see and things to try etc. :)
The family thing is definitely not for me, but at the same time neither is the snip! There is always the Christian route of abstenance ;D err no thanks!
Christians in Scotland!! Whatever next?
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Hmm I'm getting tempted by the idea of this, cos it means you can shag with impunity :D tho i don't fancy the thought of the actual procedure :o
Think I'll take my chances for now ::)
Do not even think about it until there is a 4 at the front of your age - you are too young to join Jimbob.
So I have another 400 years to wait.... gives me time to prepare myself psychologically!
I have all the kids I want, i.e. none ;) OK I'm a little(!) self-centred, but that's my prerogative and I know that's a road I never want to go down. I like my freedom and being footloose a little too much, and I don't plan on settling in any particular place any time soon, too many places to see and things to try etc. :)
The family thing is definitely not for me, but at the same time neither is the snip! There is always the Christian route of abstenance ;D err no thanks!
Never say never - when I was your age - no way I wanted children, as I got older I did.
Just imagine you find Miss Perfect, right build, right looks, get on well ect ect.
You will want children wih her - it does happen.[/quote]
It can happen, I was the confirmed bachelor, feared being tied down. Met swmbo 10 years ago, by accident. My daughter was born when I was 43. :D :D :D
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Hmm I'm getting tempted by the idea of this, cos it means you can shag with impunity :D tho i don't fancy the thought of the actual procedure :o
Think I'll take my chances for now ::)
Do not even think about it until there is a 4 at the front of your age - you are too young to join Jimbob.
So I have another 400 years to wait.... gives me time to prepare myself psychologically!
I have all the kids I want, i.e. none ;) OK I'm a little(!) self-centred, but that's my prerogative and I know that's a road I never want to go down. I like my freedom and being footloose a little too much, and I don't plan on settling in any particular place any time soon, too many places to see and things to try etc. :)
The family thing is definitely not for me, but at the same time neither is the snip! There is always the Christian route of abstenance ;D err no thanks!
Never say never - when I was your age - no way I wanted children, as I got older I did.
Just imagine you find Miss Perfect, right build, right looks, get on well ect ect.
You will want children wih her - it does happen.
and then miss perfect turns into Mrs bloater because she has become comfortable with the idea of married life and 2.4 children.....
god i sound so sceptical >:(
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Hmm I'm getting tempted by the idea of this, cos it means you can shag with impunity :D tho i don't fancy the thought of the actual procedure :o
Think I'll take my chances for now ::)
Do not even think about it until there is a 4 at the front of your age - you are too young to join Jimbob.
So I have another 400 years to wait.... gives me time to prepare myself psychologically!
I have all the kids I want, i.e. none ;) OK I'm a little(!) self-centred, but that's my prerogative and I know that's a road I never want to go down. I like my freedom and being footloose a little too much, and I don't plan on settling in any particular place any time soon, too many places to see and things to try etc. :)
The family thing is definitely not for me, but at the same time neither is the snip! There is always the Christian route of abstenance ;D err no thanks!
Never say never - when I was your age - no way I wanted children, as I got older I did.
Just imagine you find Miss Perfect, right build, right looks, get on well ect ect.
You will want children wih her - it does happen.
and then miss perfect turns into Mrs bloater because she has become comfortable with the idea of married life and 2.4 children.....
god i sound so sceptical >:(
You've met the missus then. :D :D :D