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1

General Car Chat / Re: So what have you done to your car today?

« on: Yesterday at 15:25:55 »

The *irritating noise* that my windscreen wipers made was getting on my nerves so I bought new wipers. I haven't fitted them yet as since I bought new wipers the old one's have been silent. 

**
I have short temper issues and many years ago, the windscreen wipers were grating across the windscreen of one of my mini's when it was pissing down with rain. The continuous irritating noise was driving me mad ........ so I punched the screen in anger ...... and smashed the windscreen.    So, not only was I angry,  I was wet as well. My Mrs was not impressed.    So, when the Audi wipers started screeching across the screen, she said "Let's go to Halfords NOW! 

Tell your missus she needn't worry. Windscreens are much tougher than they used to be, you are a lot older than you used to be, so you'd probably just smash your knuckles up a bit.........and cry like a baby 

Now you mention it, I am quite an emotional chap.     

2

General Car Chat / Re: So what have you done to your car today?

« on: Yesterday at 14:22:02 »

The *irritating noise* that my windscreen wipers made was getting on my nerves so I bought new wipers. I haven't fitted them yet as since I bought new wipers the old one's have been silent. 

**
I have short temper issues and many years ago, the windscreen wipers were grating across the windscreen of one of my mini's when it was pissing down with rain. The continuous irritating noise was driving me mad ........ so I punched the screen in anger ...... and smashed the windscreen.    So, not only was I angry,  I was wet as well. My Mrs was not impressed.    So, when the Audi wipers started screeching across the screen, she said "Let's go to Halfords NOW! 

3

General Car Chat / Re: New calipers... What colour?

« on: Yesterday at 13:52:40 »

If you replace the smoky derv XJ with a last of the line XJ575 that won't be far from the truth.

I wouldn't mind one of them, but they command strong money still, and more than I can justify considering the car I have doesn't really get used.

I wasn't familiar with that model but a quick search shows two 2018 XJ575's, one at £35K and the other at £39,500. Quite a beast I must admit. 
Would I ever have the desire to travel at 186mph, hmm,  yes I probably would.    Would less than 20mpg annoy me since owning a diesel, yes it definitely would. So, based on those two answers it's probably best if I don't buy one. 

4

General Discussion Area / Re: They are watching us!

« on: 18 February 2026, 16:48:55 »

Until shop security is allowed to shoot offenders, no amount of technology is going to stop anything.

The above is definitely the answer.      

We know facial recognition is seriously flawed and there are plenty of documented cases where a completely innocent person has been arrested based on facial recognition.     If it worked it would be a useful tool to catch criminals but, there have been too many ‘false positives’, which seriously pisses off the completely innocent party concerned. False arrest results in a lawsuit, so the taxpayer has to cough up again.

“Several high-profile cases have occurred where facial recognition technology (FRT) has wrongly identified and led to the arrest of innocent people, highlighting significant flaws in the technology's accuracy, particularly concerning racial bias. These incidents often involve law enforcement relying on surveillance, leading to "false positives" where the system incorrectly matches an innocent person's photo to a suspect.”

5

General Car Chat / Re: The numbers in this article are staggering

« on: 16 February 2026, 17:34:58 »

“And we were like, ‘What’s a ghost plate?’”

Where has this guy been for the past five or six years.    I’ve seen youngsters selling them on markets.    No surprise that they appeal to the private hire sector, what with them going in and out of various ’zones’ all day long. Over 41% with ghost plates out of 1000 checked private hire though, that’s quite good going. 

6

General Car Chat / Re: E-Royal Mail Vans

« on: 16 February 2026, 17:12:17 »

………
It was my 'A' series engine that laid a real, thick, blue smoke trail, every time I deaccelerated then accelerated, until that uncle taught how to replace the very worn and broken valves!!

The problem here was that the valve stem rubber seals would become hard and would start riding up and down on the valve stem, instead of staying in the recess designed to hold them in place. On my van, I used to lay a smoke trail deliberately, by doing what you describe, if someone was sat too close behind me. 

Great for cyclists too 

 

Indeed. 

7

General Car Chat / Re: E-Royal Mail Vans

« on: 16 February 2026, 15:36:09 »

………
It was my 'A' series engine that laid a real, thick, blue smoke trail, every time I deaccelerated then accelerated, until that uncle taught how to replace the very worn and broken valves!!

The problem here was that the valve stem rubber seals would become hard and would start riding up and down on the valve stem, instead of staying in the recess designed to hold them in place. On my van, I used to lay a smoke trail deliberately, by doing what you describe, if someone was sat too close behind me.   

8

General Car Chat / Re: A simple disc and pad change...

« on: 16 February 2026, 13:09:19 »

………
Doesn't stop him driving a 17 year old S Class though ……

There’s a 1998 (W140 as opposed to W220 I believe) Mercedes Benz S500 around our way. I don’t know the guy but he doesn’t hang about in it, which is brave considering the mpg.    He drives like he’s racing someone and he’s clearly local judging by the lines he took on the B4011 when I tagged along behind him.    I was impressed. 

9

General Discussion Area / Re: What has P*ssed you off today?

« on: 16 February 2026, 12:43:00 »

Got back to a note on the windscreen.

"THANK YOU FOR YOU'RE INCONSIDERATE PARKING !
NEXT TIME ALLOW SPACE FOR OTHERS TO BE ABLE TO GAIN ACCESS TO THEIR VEHICLES....."



I wouldn't mind, but it is perfectly in the space... Centred and straight

Still at least they spelt 'their' correctly.

Oh, and definitely a girl from using a circle for the dot of the exclamation mark 

But then messed up on ‘you’re (you are) as opposed to ‘your’ (belonging to). 

Sorry, that sounds pedantic but is intended as tongue in cheek. 

10

General Car Chat / Re: A simple disc and pad change...

« on: 15 February 2026, 22:39:56 »

I'd to go & buy a 7mm allen key and then later buy an 11mm allen key when I did brakes on the R Class. I went to various motor factors for them ... not a chance. Had to order off the interweb 

I had to go out and buy a couple of sets of triple square sockets (XZN) when I bought the BMW’s and the Audi’s. I daresay you’ll come across them somewhere on Mercedes as well, as the Germans like fitting them on high torque applications, although strangely they’ve used them to hold the undertray in place on the Audi’s. 

11

General Car Chat / Re: E-Royal Mail Vans

« on: 14 February 2026, 12:02:49 »

……….
Anything that runs on elastictrickery  needs a home (or depot) charger. No home charger then forget it. Otherwise it will prove prohibitively expensive and inconvenient .

You mean like an EV Fire Engine in London that’s never attended an actual fire since its introduction three years ago. It carries the water, it carries the foam, but it can’t be relied upon to get to the fire, pump gallons of water for several hours and get itself home again. 
However, it can be modified to make it useful, by fitting an auxiliary engine that runs on diesel or petrol.    Still, it was good publicity at the time for that arrogant midget Mayor. 

12

General Car Chat / Re: Nissan Cumquot

« on: 12 February 2026, 17:10:03 »

……….
I hope the tight bastards are giving her a courtesy car until it's ready 

 

Sadly not, she’s using my wife’s car for now, although in fairness she didn’t ask for one. This thermostat housing issue is well documented but the repair cost is huge when compared to the value of the car.    I’ll be much happier when it’s all done and dusted. He does have email proof of the agreement but I’ll still be happier when it’s over. 

13

General Car Chat / Re: Nissan Cumquot

« on: 12 February 2026, 15:23:36 »

Good result 

Neither the dealer that first saw the car, thank RAC, Nissan nor her local dealer who had just replaced the thermostat would entertain any form of goodwill.

Just to be clear, Daughter in law isn't paying a penny?

The engine alone is about £7k.

My son went in to double check and he was told that Nissan UK were covering the cost 100%.    As you say, it'll be around £10K with labour and any other bits. Engine is on back order so I'll update when it's done. Fingers crossed until it actually happens.

14

General Car Chat / Re: Nissan Cumquot

« on: 12 February 2026, 12:33:05 »

………
It may have simply needed a new timing kit and another day or two, but equally it could now actually need a new engine...

Apologies for resurrecting an old thread but thought I’d add a bit for Al’s benefit.
My daughter-in-law owns a petrol 2019 Qashqai with under 40K miles on the clock. I had previously warned them about the horror stories regarding the thermostat housing as it happened to a friend of ours, in addition to what Doctor Gollum posted and many other reports, but I fully understand their reluctance to change a fully working part for the sake of an updated part.
A few weeks back, steam started belching from under the bonnet and lo and behold, the thermostat housing had split in half, ironically just as she was passing a Nissan dealership.    She left it with them and they booked it in. A couple of weeks later they phoned her with an update. They had run some tests and it was not good news. Just to clarify, the engine was driven a matter of a hundred yards before she parked up in the dealership, but we accept that the vehicle movement could easily hide any steam prior to that, so can’t be definite on that. The workshop report stated that the engine runs freely and revs freely but, it failed the blow-back test and constantly triggered an overheating code. To her shock, they then informed her that they would be fitting a brand new engine and covering the labour as a goodwill gesture. The vehicle is out of warranty but does have full service history.
This is the best possible result that she could have asked for, and we are genuinely shocked that it was the dealership that pushed for this outcome from Nissan UK, and not her, so fair play to them. for doing that. She didn’t even buy the vehicle from them.
So, as Al said, he could have been on a hiding to nothing. 

15

General Car Chat / Re: Disco Sport TD4...

« on: 09 February 2026, 19:28:37 »

Coded it out on the 530D, stupid, stupid idea

Same here,  although I’m lucky with mine that when I went to code it out, I get three choices.

Default on, Default off and memory. Memory selects the last chosen setting on start up, so in my case I choose to deactivate it once and it will stay off forever until somebody presses it to change it, which won’t be me.    Why can’t they all be like this.