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[jimbobmccoy]

The event is pretty informal, and yes the judge has seen it all before. Do you work full time?
As rob has said they still tend to side with the mother as at the end of the day. They do like to ensure that you have access.
You say it would be best for you to care for them. I there a real reason behind this which would hold water.
My nipper gave me a medical form to complete for a school trip. Had to hand it over to mom as i had no idea.
Its tough to see clearly when emotions are running high.

Hope you can come to a resolution.

I work full time, but can work flexibly to fit in with kids.
I currently get them up and ready every morning, make 80% of their meals and get them ready and to bed, and stay at home while the wife works part time in the evening 60% of the time.
I think the best thing is that the wife and I both care for them, for their sake, as I have reasons that I think are valid why their mum isn't best placed to care full time, but still think she needs to play a large part in their lives.

However, as I said to the court, I'm aware there's people who know more about all this than I do, and can see the matter more objectively than I can, so I'll take their advice and hope its right.

Kids are odd, sometimes they'll drive you to the brink of insanity, but you'd still give your arm for them.

That's a thought, do you think the wife would take an arm in exchange for some sense and reason?

[jimbobmccoy]

Thanks for the comments.
They've given me a little more understanding of what to expect, and what part each service/person plays, and that, coupled with actually getting some of this out of my head and on 'paper' has helped.

Will the judge read all the statements and what not before the hearing, or does he just listen to what you have to say, and then refer to the papers if needed?

[Vamps]

Thanks for the comments.
They've given me a little more understanding of what to expect, and what part each service/person plays, and that, coupled with actually getting some of this out of my head and on 'paper' has helped.

Will the judge read all the statements and what not before the hearing, or does he just listen to what you have to say, and then refer to the papers if needed?

He should have read, but more likely, glanced over, the paperwork before the final hearing....he will be most interested in the social services section 7 report and it's conclusion / recommendations.....

[cleggy]

Shit happens and this is the worst sort, so bloody emotional and point scoring
I have been there twice and approached it differently the second time, but be warned that solicitors earn their living from these cases so be aware of this.
The first time I fought tooth and nail to have access to my two boys and not be a burger dad, I managed to get them 3 weekends out of four, it was important to me to see them asleep and have a normal relationship with them. It worked while they were younger but all the emotion had an adverse affect as they got older and became aware of the still underlying tension. My ex remarried and then came the 'we do this with you what does he do etc' It was a fatherless bloke who wanted to have a nice ready made family, well with all the pressure on the boys I saw them less and less. First the eldest at 15 turned to me and said I don't have a dad I've got a step dad, not seen him since but at the same time the 13 year old fell out with his brother with the situation and came to live with me not to see his mother for the next 10 years Now I don't see either at 30 and 27 but are kept up to date with their lives from their stepbrothers. NOT a nice situation and I helped put them through it with the best intentions at the time.
I remarried had two more boys and divorced after 3 years, rebound wanting back what I had etc. So I changed tack, did not use a solicitor and just went along with all the lies that were thrown at me. I did not fight for access nor residency, in fact I just let them get on with it. The outcome was the complete opposite of the first case, I was awarded joint parental control and social service and the court ensured that I had access. The kids came regularly whenever they wanted, arranged with social srvices so I did not have to battle with their mother I did not play mind games with their mother just accepted that when I turned up to pick them up as arranged they were not in etc etc. They both came to live with us at different times  left when it suited and now they are 23 and 19 we have brilliant relationships, keeping in regular contact weekly phone calls and popping in to see the old man whenever they get the chance, going out as a family group with the grand kids etc.

That is how it happened for me, I hope you find some comfort knowing that a lot of us have been in this awful predicament and believe me in my case the second course of action was a far better way, less stressful for all.

Whatever you do I hope it goes well for you, but whatever you do it is a bumpy ride, and that is without the CSA.