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Author Topic: OOF carbon offsets  (Read 637 times)

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Nickbat

  • Guest
OOF carbon offsets
« on: 18 September 2009, 21:28:16 »

Since we drive cars with large engines, I understand the guilt that we must all feel. Clearly, not all of us have the money to purchase a new small car and so we must continue, shamefully, to keep and drive our Omegas for the time being.

Do not despair, though. You guilt can be assuaged by purchasing, through me, some OOF carbon offsets.

The next time you need to go out in the Omega, calculate the distance you need to travel. Once you have worked out the distance, just pay me 10p per mile for your very own carbon offset. You will feel much less guilt and will no longer quarrel with SWMBO when she asks you to take her to Tescos in the Omega, "because the boot is bigger".

Please be assured that I will invest the receipts in sustainable things.

With green blessings.


P.S.
I also intend to roll out new carbon offset machines on all major supermarket forecourts. Any OOF member who wishes to invest in this exciting new venture should PM me. In the meantime, just check out this link to see how it's done:
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2009/09/18/carbon-offset-kiosk-at-sfo-sells-carbon-credits-at-60-times-the-market-rate/#more-10940

 ;) ;)
« Last Edit: 18 September 2009, 21:28:46 by Nickbat »
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Welung666

  • Guest
Re: OOF carbon offsets
« Reply #1 on: 18 September 2009, 21:42:32 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D

10 out of 10 for effort Nick :y

I've started mining carbon in my back garden as I believe good ole Gormless Brown is paying well for it ATM :y

[edit]I forgot to add that according to my self assessment of my carbon offset I don't have a carbon footprint, I have a carbon trench ;D ;D ;D ;D[/edit]
« Last Edit: 18 September 2009, 21:43:56 by Welung666 »
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Lizzie_Zoom

  • Guest
Re: OOF carbon offsets
« Reply #2 on: 18 September 2009, 22:08:11 »

Good one Nick! ;D ;D ;D :y

The only thing is though that I already pay to offset my carbon emissions;  I pay it at the pump when I fill up my miggie and when I tax the car! ::) ::) ::) :D :D :D ;) ;)
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Banjax

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Re: OOF carbon offsets
« Reply #3 on: 19 September 2009, 08:00:39 »

Quote
Since we drive cars with large engines, I understand the guilt that we must all feel. Clearly, not all of us have the money to purchase a new small car and so we must continue, shamefully, to keep and drive our Omegas for the time being.

Do not despair, though. You guilt can be assuaged by purchasing, through me, some OOF carbon offsets.

The next time you need to go out in the Omega, calculate the distance you need to travel. Once you have worked out the distance, just pay me 10p per mile for your very own carbon offset. You will feel much less guilt and will no longer quarrel with SWMBO when she asks you to take her to Tescos in the Omega, "because the boot is bigger".

Please be assured that I will invest the receipts in sustainable things.

With green blessings.


P.S.
I also intend to roll out new carbon offset machines on all major supermarket forecourts. Any OOF member who wishes to invest in this exciting new venture should PM me. In the meantime, just check out this link to see how it's done:
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2009/09/18/carbon-offset-kiosk-at-sfo-sells-carbon-credits-at-60-times-the-market-rate/#more-10940

 ;) ;)


i'm glad you're finally taking this issue seriously nickbat - good on you!!
 







































































;D ;D  ;D
« Last Edit: 19 September 2009, 08:02:15 by bannjaxx »
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50 bucks!?! For 50 bucks I'd put my face in their soup and blow!!
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