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[Darth Loo-knee]

There are 10 Men and 1 Woman hanging off a rope suspended from a Rescue Helicopter.
They all decide that someone would have to let go, because if not the rope would break and they would all die.
There were no volunteers!!
Finally the Woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give her life to save the others, because generally Women were used to giving up things for Men!...
And all the Men started Clapping!!!

[Darth Loo-knee]

A Woman and a Baby go to the Doctors.
The Doctor is concerned about the babies weight and asks, " Is he bottle or breast fed?" woman replies "Breast fed!"
So Doctor asks her to strip to the waist.
Doc then pinches and sucks both her nipples, then rubs both her boobs for a while. "No wonder the baby is under weight, you've got no milk!" says the Doc.
"I know " says the woman, "I'm his Gran, but I am F***ing glad I came!"

[maria]

They where both brilliant  

[Darth Loo-knee]

Sometimes when you cry no-one sees your tears.
When your worried no-one sees your pain.
When your happy no -one sees your smile...
But just try Farting and see the f***** attention you get!

[Darth Loo-knee]

With her 24 million divorce settlement Heather Mills is going to buy a plane.
But she will still use a ladyshave for her other leg....
 

[maria]

Very funny but the rest of  the joke is so true

[Debs.]

With her 24 million divorce settlement Heather Mills is going to buy a plane.
But she will still use a ladyshave for her other leg....
 

.......

[amigov6]

A Woman and a Baby go to the Doctors.
The Doctor is concerned about the babies weight and asks, " Is he bottle or breast fed?" woman replies "Breast fed!"
So Doctor asks her to strip to the waist.
Doc then pinches and sucks both her nipples, then rubs both her boobs for a while. "No wonder the baby is under weight, you've got no milk!" says the Doc.
"I know " says the woman, "I'm his Gran, but I am F***ing glad I came!"

[albitz]

A Woman and a Baby go to the Doctors.
The Doctor is concerned about the babies weight and asks, " Is he bottle or breast fed?" woman replies "Breast fed!"
So Doctor asks her to strip to the waist.
Doc then pinches and sucks both her nipples, then rubs both her boobs for a while. "No wonder the baby is under weight, you've got no milk!" says the Doc.
"I know " says the woman, "I'm his Gran, but I am F***ing glad I came!"

[Vamps]

 
Being nice and friendly again, you still after promotion.

[amigov6]

An Englishman, Irishman & a Scotsman walk into a pub. The barman says " Is this some kind of a joke?"
      Sorry, i've already got my coat, i'm off!!!!!!!

[Vamps]

An Englishman, Irishman & a Scotsman walk into a pub. The barman says " Is this some kind of a joke?"
      Sorry, i've already got my coat, i'm off!!!!!!!

Might be best  

[mars]

A Woman and a Baby go to the Doctors.
The Doctor is concerned about the babies weight and asks, " Is he bottle or breast fed?" woman replies "Breast fed!"
So Doctor asks her to strip to the waist.
Doc then pinches and sucks both her nipples, then rubs both her boobs for a while. "No wonder the baby is under weight, you've got no milk!" says the Doc.
"I know " says the woman, "I'm his Gran, but I am F***ing glad I came!"