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[Vamps]

My mum used to get these things when I was a lad. I particulatly remember the jellied chicken in a tin and the 'eat me' dates. Yum fickin yum. 

.......plus there is always some processed old crap right at the bottom of the hamper that no right thinking person will eat.

Pickled quails gonads. Duck beak in bbq sauce.   

More likely processed meat, which basically means any part of the animal you care to name. 

That will be those Hot Dogs in brine then 

In a nice bun with proper fried onions and some mustard, lovely..........

Don't you start.

I was just checking you were alert.....