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[the alarming man]

First offence for lez is a stern letter from Boris, second is a fine.
 just sell him the van and back date re-registering's in his name by couple days,  eg he buys today you put Fridays date on the v5 and post it, then not your problem. O and before the OOF police etc start shouting, not every one has a frecking great halo.

Depends if the buyer is (a lot) bigger than me

Isn't everyone? Or do you mean around the middle

I resemble that remark.  Esp after last nights blow-out down Tiffins - Crisps, starter and main . Still, I know that, as from 20 mins ago, the Naga is no longer in me. Mummy!

New meaning to ring of fire