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[Field Marshal Dr. Opti]

When I was a kid your parents would send you alone into a darkened cave (grotto) with a dubious looking man who would put you on his knee and whisper in your ear " what will you do for me if I get you that new bike for Christmas"

Santa would often smell of alcohol.

Nothing 15 years of therapy couldn't cure.

....and it never did you any harm M'lud!