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Author Topic: Olympics opening ceremony  (Read 1019 times)

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TheBoy

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Olympics opening ceremony
« on: 08 August 2008, 13:38:03 »

Some of that is impressive....
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bob.dent

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #1 on: 08 August 2008, 14:40:19 »

Having a busy day at work then Jaime! ::) :D
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Kevin Wood

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #2 on: 08 August 2008, 14:42:25 »

Just noticed some lazy slackers are watching it over the other side of the office. Loads of chaps waving flags. Guess that's what the Olympics is about - oh, with a bit of sport thrown in.

Kevin
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TheBoy

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #3 on: 08 August 2008, 16:00:46 »

Quote
Having a busy day at work then Jaime! ::) :D
Got it in a window on the PC :y

And yes, having a very busy day week  >:(
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Elite Pete

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #4 on: 08 August 2008, 16:25:25 »

Oh, have they started ::)
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ians

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #5 on: 08 August 2008, 19:02:32 »

Quote
Just noticed some lazy slackers are watching it over the other side of the office. Loads of chaps waving flags. Guess that's what the Olympics is about - oh, with a bit of sport thrown in.

Kevin

..whilst others are hard at work..   ;)
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waspy

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #6 on: 08 August 2008, 19:12:22 »

Where's that wall i painted earlier  ;)
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albitz

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #7 on: 08 August 2008, 20:18:14 »

I missed it ,i was watching some grass to see if it was growing. :D :)
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Darth Loo-knee

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #8 on: 08 August 2008, 20:40:02 »

Very impressive :y

But if the can't do go firework displays in China where on earth can they :D

Getting ready now to watch all the events I can :y
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maria

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #9 on: 08 August 2008, 20:45:25 »

Quote
Very impressive :y

But if the can't do go firework displays in China where on earth can they :D

Getting ready now to watch all the events I can :y


And enjoy :y
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albitz

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #10 on: 08 August 2008, 20:58:53 »

Quote
Very impressive :y

But if the can't do go firework displays in China where on earth can they :D

Getting ready now to watch all the events I can :y
thats all time that could be spent riding the thunderace. ;)
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unlucky alf

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #11 on: 08 August 2008, 22:19:24 »

some of us were wasting time in a vx waiting room & coming out more confused than when we went in, thank god they had a telly on :y
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FRE07962128

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #12 on: 08 August 2008, 23:55:05 »

Very impressive, but how on earth is London in 2012 going to better that without spending even more money!  ::) ::)

Must be a few worried London Olympics committee members out there! :D ;)
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CaptainZok

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #13 on: 09 August 2008, 00:09:12 »

Quote
Very impressive, but how on earth is London in 2012 going to better that without spending even more money!  ::) ::)

Must be a few worried London Olympics committee members out there! :D ;)

I believe they're planning on using the same plan Manchester had for the 2004 bid.

THE OLYMPIC GAMES In an attempt to influence the members of the international Olympic committee on their choice of venue for the games in the year 2004, the organisers of Manchester's bid have already drawn up an itinerary and schedule of events. A copy has been leaked and is reproduced below.

OPENING CEREMONY The Olympic flame will be ignited by a petrol bomb thrown by a native of the city (preferably from the Moss Side area), wearing the traditional balaclava. The flame will be contained in a large chip van situated on the roof of the stadium.

THE EVENTS In previous Olympic games, Manchester's competitors have not been particularly successful. In order to redress the balance, some of the events have been altered slightly to the advantage of local 'Manchester' athletes.

100 METRES SPRINT Competitors will have to hold a video recorder and microwave oven (one in each arm) and on the sound of the starting pistol, a police dog will be released from a cage 10 yards behind the athletes.

100 METRES HURDLES As above but with added obstacles (ie. car bonnets, hedges, gardens, fences walls etc.)

HAMMER Competitors in this event may choose the type of hammer they wish to use (claw , sledge etc.) the winner will be the one who can cause the most grievous bodily harm to members of the public within the time allowed.

FENCING Entrants will be asked to dispose of as much stolen silver and jewellery as possible in 5 mins.

SHOOTING A strong challenge is expected from the local men in this event. the first target will be a moving police van. In the second round, competitors will aim at a post office clerk bank teller or Securicor style wages delivery man.

BOXING Entry to the boxing will be restricted to husband and wife teams, and will take place on a Friday night. The husband will be given 15 pints of lager while the wife will be told not to make him any tea when he gets home. The bout will then commence.

CYCLING TIME TRIALS Competitors will be asked to break into the University bike shed and take an expensive mountain bike owned by some mummy's boy from the country on his first trip away from home. All against the clock.

CYCLING PURSUIT As above but the bike will be owned by a visiting member of the Australian rugby team, who will witness the theft.

MODERN PENTATHLON Amended to include mugging, breaking and entering , flashing, joy riding and arson.

THE MARATHON A safe route has yet to be decided, but the competitors will be issued with sharp sticks and bags with which to pick up litter on their way round the course.

SWIMMING Competitors will be thrown off the bridge over the ship canal. The first three survivors back, will decide the medals.

MEN'S 50KM WALK Unfortunately this will have to be cancelled as the police cannot guarantee the safety of anyone walking the streets of Manchester especially if they appear to be mincing.

THE CLOSING CEREMONY Entertainment will include formation rave dancing by members of the Salford Health in the Community anti-drug campaigners, synchronised rock throwing and music by the Stockport Community Choir. The Olympic flame will be extinguished by someone dropping an old washing machine onto it from the top floor of the block of flats next to the stadium. The stadium will be then boarded up before the local athletes break into it and remove all the copper piping and the central heating boiler.
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FRE07962128

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Re: Olympics opening ceremony
« Reply #14 on: 09 August 2008, 00:19:17 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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