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Author Topic: If Pet's kept diaries  (Read 680 times)

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Jimbo B

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If Pet's kept diaries
« on: 07 February 2010, 22:34:39 »
Excerpts from a dog's diary

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's diary

Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.  They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.  In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.  Bast**ds.
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.  The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....  For now.................

 ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Vamps

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Re: If Pet's kept diaries
« Reply #1 on: 07 February 2010, 22:40:39 »
Brilliant.......... :y
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PhilRich

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Re: If Pet's kept diaries
« Reply #2 on: 07 February 2010, 22:45:00 »
Absolutely Brilliant! An inspired piece of observation!! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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jonnycool

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Re: If Pet's kept diaries
« Reply #3 on: 07 February 2010, 22:50:50 »
Exactly right!
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Proz

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Re: If Pet's kept diaries
« Reply #4 on: 08 February 2010, 09:50:45 »
 ;D ;D ;D ;D ..Very good  :y
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The Red Baron

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Re: If Pet's kept diaries
« Reply #5 on: 08 February 2010, 09:54:36 »
pretty much spot on that is :)
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bob.dent

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Re: If Pet's kept diaries
« Reply #6 on: 08 February 2010, 12:45:59 »
 ;D ;D ;D

Excellent! :y
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I HAVE THE BODY OF AN 18 YEAR OLD.......I KEEP IT IN THE FRIDGE!
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