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Author Topic: Walmart Diagnostic Machine  (Read 731 times)

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des.allen

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Walmart Diagnostic Machine
« on: 22 March 2010, 20:24:09 »



One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Bob says to Mike behind him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I'd better see a doctor.'

'Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money,' Mike replies.

'There's a diagnostic computer down at Wal-Mart . Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and costs $10 - A lot cheaper than a doctor.'

So, Bob deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wal-Mart.

He deposits $10, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits..

10 seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
'You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in 2 weeks. Thank you for shopping @ Wal-Mart.'

That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Bob began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Bob hurries back to Wal-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits $10, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better!
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alunonhisown

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Re: Walmart Diagnostic Machine
« Reply #1 on: 22 March 2010, 20:26:26 »

PMSL ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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Hannah Judes Dad

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Re: Walmart Diagnostic Machine
« Reply #2 on: 22 March 2010, 20:32:47 »

 ;D ;D ;D ;D
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Seth

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Re: Walmart Diagnostic Machine
« Reply #3 on: 22 March 2010, 20:35:50 »

 :D ;D :D ;D :D ;D
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sexydaz

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Re: Walmart Diagnostic Machine
« Reply #4 on: 22 March 2010, 20:35:59 »

 ;D ;D ;D
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Elite Pete

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Re: Walmart Diagnostic Machine
« Reply #5 on: 22 March 2010, 20:45:11 »

 ;D ;D ;D :y
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PhilRich

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Re: Walmart Diagnostic Machine
« Reply #6 on: 22 March 2010, 21:34:31 »

Brilliant! ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D :y
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jonnycool

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Re: Walmart Diagnostic Machine
« Reply #7 on: 22 March 2010, 23:55:43 »

Excellent  ;D ;D ;D
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