An old man gets on a crowded bus and no one gives him a seat. As the bus shakes, the old man cane slips on the floor and he falls.
As he gets up, a seven-year-old kid, sitting nearby turns to him and says, "Sir if you put a little rubber thingy on the end of your stick, it wouldn't slip."
The old man snaps back, "Well, if your daddy did the same thing seven years ago, I would have a seat today".
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An elderly Italian man who lived in the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for confession.
He said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son and you have no need to confess that."
"It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with sexual favors."
The priest said: "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people together under those circumstances are greatly tempted to act that way. But if you! are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven."
"Thank you Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I have one more question."
"And what is that?" said the priest.
"Should I tell her the war is over?"
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A brunette, a red head, and a blonde were having a very
interesting conversation and it got around to their daughters.
The brunette said, "I went in my daughter's room the other day
and found a pack of ciggarettes, I didn't even know she smoked!"
The red head said, "I went in my daughter's room and found a
half-empty bottle of vodka! I didn't even know she drank!"
Then the blonde burst out and said, "I went in my daughter's
room and found a pack of condoms, half-empty, I didn't even know she had a penis!"
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A local business was looking for office help. They put a sign in the window, stating the following: "HELP WANTED. Must be able to type, must be good with a computer and must be bilingual. We are an Equal Opportunity Employer."
A short time afterwards, a dog trotted up to the window, saw the sign and went inside. He looked at the receptionist and wagged his tail, then walked over to the sign, looked at it and whined.
Getting the idea, the receptionist got the office manager. The office manager looked at the dog and was surprised, to say the least. However, the dog looked determined, so he lead him into the office. Inside, the dog jumped up on the chair and stared at the manager.
The manager said "I can't hire you. The sign says you have to be able to type." The dog jumped down, went to the typewriter and proceeded to type out a perfect letter. He took out the page and trotted over to the manager and gave it to him, then jumped back on the chair.
The manager was stunned, but then told the dog "the sign says you have to be good with a computer." The dog jumped down again and went to the computer. The dog proceeded to enter and execute a perfect program, that worked flawlessly the first time.
By this time the manager was totally dumb-founded! He looked at the dog and said "I realize that you are a very intelligent dog and have some interesting abilities. However, I *still* can't give you the job."
The dog jumped down and went to a copy of the sign and put his paw on the sentences that told about being an Equal Opportunity Employer. The manager said "yes, but the sign *also* says that you have to be bilingual."
The dog looked at the manager calmly and said, "Meow!"
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Topic: A few to make you smile .. :) (Read 791 times)