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[alfie]

Now I need help with this one! my mates wife is 60 next week and I need to send her a card  with a nice smutty theme to it.
Now she don,t drink,or do sex so she claims,her only thing she loves is bingo and boot sales.
So if anyone out there,and there must be one of you,can help me by stringing a few words into verse, I would be very grateful,by the way she,s going on a Nile cruise next week without her hubby.
Alfie.

[Richie London]

You've got arthritis in both your knees
And when you talk, you tend to wheeze.
Your pulse is weak, your blood is thin
Your memory's failing, your head's in a spin
How do you know your youth is spent?
Cos your "get up and go" has got up and went
But never mind, you'll be like a young pup
As you recall all the places your get up's got up
Arise each morning and dust off your wits
Pick up the paper and read the obits.
If your name's not there, you know you're not dead
Just fix some breakfast and go back to bed.

[PhilRich]

No Drink?, No Sex??,
It's not right, you know
to deny your Libido for a game of Bingo!
nor a bottle of ale in favour of a Boot Sale?
When your 60th Birthdays 'Come', but not you Dear?
The thought is Beyond the Pale!
Give it some thought, take a while
for in my opinion......
You're in de nile!

[alfie]

Philrich, I think thats just about  right on the button,thanks mate.
Alfie.

[Amigo]

Sex is over rated you find it boring,
for booties you have to get up in the morning.
When it's time for eyes down & the caller sings,
you & all your old mates can wave your bingo wings!

[alfie]

Thanks for the verses,I myself will not be here for the actual birthday party, cos I,ll be on my holiday that cost me a arm and leg more than I had budgeted for.
I don,t think I,ll be missing much thought,thanks again.
Alfie.

[Hannah Judes Dad]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Most of your varicous vains
Are going that way too